God is testing me (via my mother-in-law)

[progressoid]

I just got this email from her (M-I-L that is). She also sent a REALLY stupid one attributed to Paul Harvey about gawd and praying in school etc. :puke: But I thought I would post this one before I lay me down to sleep. I'm NOT going to forward this to 10 friends and back to her, but I am posting it here for 70,000 registered DUers to read, so does that count? :shrug:
Here tis:
------------------------------------------------

HE is the only one that can save this country from the liberals that want him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want.


Jesus Test:

This is an easy test, you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.


Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed? Pass this on . . . only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love God.

He is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and everyday.

Without Him, I will be nothing.

Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Phil 4:13



This is the simplest test . .. . If you Love God, and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you. Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!



Faith isn't just believing God can.....it's knowing He will.

[Az]

1. Hookworm, is there anyone proud of hookworm?

Mark Twain, Letters From Earth

Shem was full of hookworms. It is wonderful, the thorough and comprehensive study which the Creator devoted to the great work of making man miserable. I have said he devised a special affliction-agent for each and every detail of man's structure, overlooking not a single one, and I said the truth. Many poor people have to go barefoot, because they cannot afford shoes. The Creator saw his opportunity. I will remark, in passing, that he always has his eye on the poor. Nine-tenths of his disease-inventions were intended for the poor, and they get them. The well-to-do get only what is left over. Do not suspect me of speaking unheedfully, for it is not so: the vast bulk of the Creator's affliction-inventions are specially designed for the persecution of the poor. You could guess this by the fact that one of the pulpit's finest and commonest names for the Creator is "The Friend of the Poor." Under no circumstances does the pulpit ever pay the Creator a compliment that has a vestige of truth in it. The poor's most implacable and unwearying enemy is their Father in Heaven. The poor's only real friend is their fellow man. He is sorry for them, he pities them, and he shows it by his deeds. He does much to relieve their distresses; and in every case their Father in Heaven gets the credit of it.

Just so with diseases. If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit, and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is! Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he has waited a thousand years before doing it. That is nothing; the pulpit says he was thinking about it all the time. When exasperated men rise up and sweep away an age-long tyranny and set a nation free, the first thing the delighted pulpit does is to advertise it as God's work, and invite the people to get down on their knees and pour out their thanks to him for it. And the pulpit says with admiring emotion, "Let tyrants understand that the Eye that never sleeps is upon them; and let them remember that the Lord our God will not always be patient, but will loose the whirlwinds of his wrath upon them in his appointed day."

[WhollyHeretic]

2. I love Letters From Earth it's a wonderful collection

I was just reading The Profits of Religion by Upton Sinclair online at The Gutenberg Project website.

Bootstrap-lifting

Bootstrap-lifting? says the reader.

It is a vision I have seen: upon a vast plain, men and women are
gathered in dense throngs, crouched in uncomfortable and
distressing positions, their fingers hooked in the straps of
their boots. They are engaged in lifting themselves; tugging and
straining until they grow red in the face, exhausted. The
perspiration streams from their foreheads, they show every
symptom of distress; the eyes of all are fixed, not upon each
other, nor upon their boot-straps, but upon the sky above. There
is a look of rapture upon their faces, and now and then, amid
grunts and groans, they cry out with excitement and triumph.

I approach one and say to him, "Friend, what is this you are
doing?"

He answers, without pausing to glance at me, "I am performing
spiritual exercises. See how I rise?"

"But," I say, "you are not rising at all!"

Whereat he becomes instantly angry. "You are one of the
scoffers!"

"But, friend," I protest, "don't you feel the earth under your
feet?"

"You are a materialist!"

"But, friend, I can see--"

"You are without spiritual vision!"

And so I move on among the sweating and groaning hordes. Being of
a sympathetic turn of mind, I cannot help being distressed by the
prevalence of this singular practice among so large a portion of
the human race. How is it possible that none of them should
suspect the futility of their procedure? Or can it really be that
I am uncomprehending? That in some way they are actually getting
off the ground, or about to get off the ground?

Then I observe a new phenomenon: a man gliding here and there
among the bootstrap-lifters, approaching from the rear and
slipping his hands into their pockets. The position of the
spiritual exercisers greatly facilitates his work; their eyes
being cast up to heaven, they do not see him, their thoughts
being occupied, they do not heed him; he goes through their
pockets at leisure, and transfers the contents to a bag he
carries, and then moves on to the next victim. I watch him for a
while, and finally approach and ask, "What are you doing, sir?"

He answers, "I am picking pockets."

"Oh," I say, puzzled by his matter-of-course tone. "But--I beg
pardon--are you a thief?"

"Oh, no," hie answers, smilingly, "I am the agent of the
Wholesale Pickpockets' Association. This is Prosperity."

"I see," I reply. "And these people let you--"

"It is the law," he says. "It is also the gospel."------

The books on Project Gutenberg are all public domain and free to download. http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext98/prfrl10.txt

[funflower]

3. I've received more e-spam claiming to have originated w/ Paul Harvey!

What is it w/ RWers and that guy?

:shrug:

[onager]

4. Famous Horse-Molester Paul Harvey?

;-)

I guess Harvey is one of those Great American Traditions, since he's been on the radio since Marconi invented it.

Folks where I grew up actually think he's smart. Another reason I left.

I'm not sure how many people are old BartCop fans. But back during the Clinton years, Harvey repeated every right-wing smear and slur he could find about the Clintons.

One day BartCop wrote that he wanted to play that game, too. So he started writing stories accusing Paul Harvey of having sex with farm animals. Eventually it got shortened to "Horse-Molester."

[BiggJawn]

5. Change a few words and see another side of religion....

Whisky Test:

This is an easy test, you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.


Whisky said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed? Pass this on . . . only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love Whisky.

It is my source of existence and Savior.

It keeps me functioning each and everyday.

Without It, I will be nothing.

Without It, I am nothing but with It I can do all things through Booze that strengthens me. Jack Daniels 100 Proof



This is the simplest test . .. . If you Love Whisky, and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things It has done for you. Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!

Religion is just another Addiction. I have met "former" alcoholics who don't drink anymore, but they're just as ate-up on Jeebus as they were on Richard's Wild Irish Rose.

[progressoid]

6. I'm going there for dinner tonight. If it comes up, I may just use it!

But probably I'll just eat and leave. I had a tiring week and weekend so if anyone brings up politics or religion, I might "go off".

Grrrr, sometimes I hate being a nice guy.

[Taxloss]

7. Let's try this:

Yes, I do love ....

... keeps me functioning each and everyday.

Without ... I will be nothing.

Without ... I am nothing but with ... I can do all things

Insert: booze/ antidepressants/ sex/ coke/ coffee/ my spouse