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I hope you all don't mind a little Zen Buddhism talk but since I mentioned that I was going to try and start regular practice here in this forum, that and the nature of this little story I thought would make it interesting and relaxant to some of you anyway. ;)
I have been going to Zazen as regularly as I can for a while now, and sitting on my own pretty close to every day.
Today I made it to the group sitting and we had a guiding teacher there this week (we only get one maybe once a month, this was the second time I spoke to one of the local teachers)
The way it works is everyone sits through a typical sessionn but throughout we take turns going innto another room for an innterview with the teacher and talk or just sit.
I went in and talked to him about my concern that when I count my breaths durinng my sittinng I feel as though I'm controllinng my breaths rather than just 'being' and countinng my breaths in what would be a natural un-foced/un-controled manner just as they come.
His advice was basically the thought that I'm controlling my breaths is just another discursive thought that you recognized has pulled you away and to treat it like any other thought and brinng yourself back to your counting and mediation.
But what really nailed it for me is he actually said "There's nothing magical about beinng able to just let yourself breath and count the 'natural' rythm." "There's nothing magical about zazen." It's just a practice to help you bring the same skill - the mental skill of being aware annd keeping focus onn a task and in life in general.
How many 'religious' leaders would say "there's nothing magical" about one of the central and foundational practices of their religion? Not many I'd guess. lol
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