Today, I attended a funeral for a friend, and heard nothing but emotional blackmail from the pastor!

[pink-o]

Okay, I went in with my eyes open: the woman was only 60 and she died after a long battle with cancer. She worked with me, and although she wasn't a close friend, she was more than an acquaintance and I went to her funeral with all my co-workers. I knew she was religious, but I hadn't been in a church for any reason for a very long time. If not for my respect for her family, I would have walked out halfway through the service.

This Pastor immediately started in on "If any of you ever want to see (my friend) again, now is the time to take Jesus into your heart. This is her message, and she pleaded with me to tell all her friends that she wants to celebrate with them in Heaven, so please open your hearts and let the lord in."

Now, this was a huge funeral with at least 100 people of all ethnicity and age. Then this blackmailer, fearmonger says: "And I'm speaking especially to the children--don't wait until you're too old to accept Jesus, because as you get older, you harden your heart."

Yeah--it's called coming to your senses after realizing it's all a fairy tale!!

Listen, for me it was just an hour of annoyance, another narrow-minded episode where everyone else around me lapped it up like cream and I squirmed in my seat. (Even my Muslim and Buddist friends didn't find it as objectionable as I did.) But when you strike fear into the minds of kids and the vulnerable, you're no better than a predatory snake-oil salesman who uses smoke and mirrors to give gravitas to complete hooey. I tried not to get too angry, but as it stood I didn't accompany my friends to the cemetery, due to the fact that I'd had all I could take.

The saddest thing of all, is that the Pastor and his family are good people. They give a lot to charity (with biblical strings attached, I'm sure) and were very gracious to me.

But I wondered how gracious they would have been if I'd told them I wasn't about to accept a mythological being into my heart. Would I still get invited to the celebration in heaven? That would be no, I guess.

My fond memories of a good friend will just have to be enough to get me through it.

[cynatnite]

1. They truly believe that telling people they are going to hell is a good thing...

I don't get it.

[WillParkinson]

2. Damning them...

Is the only way to "save" them.

[and-justice-for-all]

3. They may give a lot to charity...

but it is an excuse for them to continue to peddle their snake oil. When I look at those people, its like looking out a window to me..

I am not concerned about my funeral, I am mostly getting cremated and if I had my way I was just been tossed in a hole in the ground in the woods were the natural process can have its full effect.

I can only imagine how you feel, I would probably want to get up and slap the shit out of'em myself..If I was to be directly engaged with that person, I would unload on'em. I never hold back anymore.."I'm an Atheist and I do not believe in that dark age nonsense."

[Jokerman]

5. Off topic but...

I WANT THAT BUMPER STICKER IN YOUR SIG LINE!

It would be just the thing to cheese off the small minded fools around here.

[and-justice-for-all]

14. Every bumper sticker you could want... www.evolvefish.com

[Jokerman]

4. They just LOVE a captive audience.

That's why it's so important to them to dominate schools and government. They see every gathering of two or more people as an opportunity to scare the vulnerable into submission.

I've posted here on two different occasions after being disgusted when a funeral for a non-religious person was hijacked and turned into the scene you described. In my opinion, even though your acquaintance was religious, a funeral service should be about honoring the deceased, not manipulating the guests.

[tbyg52]

6. My wedding and my mom's funeral were both hijacked,

against specific instructions that were agreed to in advance. Non-denominational wedding chapel and a preacher of some sort who had a side business taking people out on the ocean to scatter ashes.

The only two times I had contact with religious leaders of any sort since childhood, and they both did the same exact thing. I've tried very hard not to have any further contact of any sort since.

[Jokerman]

7. We were married by a judge.

Finally agreed to let my FIL say a brief prayer after the ceremony was over but that was the only mention of any religion that day.

My mom went back to the catholic church in her later years (a divorced, re-married, pro-choice activist catholic) so I found a priest to read her the last rites in the hospital and another one spoke at her funeral. He was respectful of the occasion and I think she would have wanted it that way.

Dad, the cantankerous old coot he was, put it in writing that there would be "no funeral or religious services whatsoever" in his honor. We sat his ashes at the end of the legion bar, drank several rounds with his old buddies and donated money to assist elderly legion members. I can't think of a better way to remember him.

[tbyg52]

8. Yeah, we should have gone to a judge as well.

The chapel was just convenient and cute, and we never dreamed the jerk that married us would do what he did until he did it. Same for the priest with the boat, which was over a decade later. I'm never going to find out if two out of two was just a fluke or not, because I'm not going near any of them again.

I think I would have liked your father!

[pink-o]

9. I have always vowed to will my organs and body to medical science..

They can take what they want and throw the rest on the scrapheap. I'll be dead anyway, so why would I care what they do with my coporeal self?

The whole idea of a funeral and burial is anathema to me anyway, but after yesterday's experience and reading what many of you have said about other funerals, I'm more determined than ever not to allow it for myself. My mother was a complete atheist, and we never had a service for her. It freaked out all our friends; they were all over me to have some kind of ceremony to achieve "closure". But my family and I stood steadfast against it--now I'm more convinced than ever that we did the right thing!

And as for "closure": I was devastated when my wonderful mother died, but I grieved for myself and how much I would miss her. What comforted me was knowing that we are all humble creatures, beholden to the same laws of nature. That our lives are evanescent, temporary and we will all pass into the earth from which we came. So nothing is more important than connecting with others, finding love and contentment, living each day to the fullest and forgiving each other--not because some mythical being tells us to, but because this moment is all we have.

I hope when my time comes that I have more friends who realize that!

[tbyg52]

10. I've told my husband this is what I want

http://crime-scene-processing.suite101.com/article.cfm/forensic_anthropology

[pink-o]

11. That's great! I'm gonna fill out the forms and tell my family! n/t

[tbyg52]

13. Whoa, I'm glad I mentioned it to you

because I didn't realize you had to fill out forms in advance. I'd just read an article about it and then Googled it to post here - I pictured him just shipping me off to them.... ;)

[Warpy]

12. I often say I'd resent it if a cure for lupus were found

because it's been the most marvelous excuse to get out of church functions.

If I knew them well enough to be expected to go to the funeral, I'm known well enough that they've all seen what a bad day looks like and nobody questions it.

I'll drop food off for after and send a nice card and a donation to the society for whatever killed the person.

[enlightenment]

18. I've never been to a funeral. Ever.

I'm not offending the dead and if I offend the living that's their problem.

My father wants to be buried at Arlington (he's eligible for the bells and whistles), so I suppose I'll have to break down and deliver his ashes for that ceremony, but I'll be buggered if I do more than that. I have one sister who is a fundy and one who is into some odd woowoo stuff . . . the rest of us just look on with varying degrees of bemusement and annoyance. Since my dad put me in charge of the disposition of his remains, my fundy sister will have to arrange her own god talk on her own time. The woowoo sister will probably hold a seance or channeling or something. Doesn't matter - she keeps it to herself.

My mother wants her ashes scattered, no doubt hoping that the wind will shift in mid-toss - as happened to her when she scattered her mother's remains. She said 'mom always did get the last word' . . .

[Blue Gardener]

15. Same thing happened at my Aunt's funeral

According to the jackass pastor, the only way I would see her again is if I went to their church. Pretty shitty thing to say to the family members that don't buy into their point of view.

[RebelOne]

16. I attended a funeral for a co-worker friend a few weeks ago,

and it was a Catholic funeral. His parents were Catholic, but I don't think he was. I had to sit through all the amens and the communion. I was so relieved when it was over.

[sarcasmo]

17. They sure do use the fear card in church, it makes you wonder if that is what she really wanted him

to say.

[tiddlywinks]

19. dear pink o

i'm sorry for what happened to you. You went to say goodbye to your friend/coworker and got preached at at a time when you really don't need to be. Religion really does suck. they want to suck our money and they guilt trip us and that is why they call it preachin' i guess. He/she was just doing his job-he needs his paycheck too and, well, hopefully, religions are dying, so..desperate times call for desperate measures. It wasn't just a pretty little sermon huh? fick them in ther tiney u know wahts
sorry but this is an adult group. I am sick of their shit and thank you for letting me vent in your thread