Did you know that mermaids are halaal?

[laconicsax]

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Muhalla (6/50): As for that which lives in the water and cannot live anywhere else, it is all halaal no matter what state it is in, whether it is caught alive and then dies, or it dies in the water and then floats or does not float, whether it was killed by a sea creature or a land animal. It is all halaal to eat, whether it is the pig of the sea (i.e., a dolphin), a mermaid, or a dog of the sea (i.e., shark) and so on. It is halaal to eat, whether it was killed by an idol-worshipper, a Muslim, a kitaabi (Jew or Christian) or it was not killed by anyone. The proof of that is the verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And the two seas (kinds of water) are not alike: this is palatable, sweet and pleasant to drink, and that is salt and bitter. And from them both you eat fresh tender meat (fish)” and “Lawful to you is (the pursuit of) water game and its use for food — for the benefit of yourselves and those who travel” . Allaah spoke in general terms and did not exclude anything, “and your Lord is never forgetful” . End quote.

Al-Durayr – a Maaliki scholar – said in al-Sharh al-Sagheer (2/182): Sea animals in general are permissible, whether it is dead meat or a ‘dog’ (shark) or a ‘pig’ (dolphin), and they do not need to be slaughtered properly. End quote.

Al-Saawi said in his commentary on that: The words “or a ‘dog’ or a ‘pig’ also include a ‘human’, referring thereby to mermaids. End quote.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/103991/mermaids emphasis mine

Neat stuff on that site. Did you know that the way to atone for accidentally killing someone is to either buy a Muslim slave and set them free or fast for two months? I didn't.

[onager]

1. Nope, 6 years living among Muslims and I never heard THAT one!

:rofl:

Thanks a lot.

I often saw a (presumably) Muslim mermaid in Alexandria.

I say "presumably" because she had black hair, big dark eyes, olive skintones and a pair of very big...mussels on her chest. Of course, she could have been a secular Mediterranean mermaid.

She worked right across the street from the New Alexandria Library, advertising a beachside cafe. She was a fairly risque mermaid and I often wondered when the local religious fanatics would start whining about her.

Unfortunately, she was made of wood.

BTW, a big trend in the Middle East right now is "Ask an Imam" TV shows. And websites. A lot of the goofier Islamic stuff these days seems to be coming from those sources.

These guys drive the "official" Muslim religious authorities crazy. Well, crazier. The Western equivalent, I guess, would be the Pope or the Archbishop of Canterbury constantly being contradicted by the likes of Benny Hinn or Paul Crouch.

Some of the things reported in the Egyptian press were hilarious. One woman was troubled because her family hired a male chaffeur/handyman who was often alone in the house with her. Since they were not related, that's technically haram (forbidden).

The religious expert consulted the Koran and hadith and came up with a brilliant answer: simply convert the employee into a relative.

To accomplish that, all the woman had to do was suckle him. Yes, that means exactly what you think it means.

Soon the phone lines were burning up with Egyptian smart-asses calling in to ask if they could be suckled by any family member - like a daughter. And how often did the ritual have to be performed before they were Certified Relatives? Nightly? For how long?

It was a huge, funny embarassment. The experts at al-Azhar University (founded in 975) condemened the whole thing. And were embarassed when the Pop-Culture Imam quoted exactly where he found the rule, in the always-infallible Ancient Scriptures And Commentaries.

[Strong Atheist]

2. I don't like seafood... nt.

[DavidDvorkin]

3. I don't normally fantasize about mermaids

But on the rare occasions when I do, cooking them is not part of the fantasy.

[laconicsax]

4. So do you prefer the human half above or below the waist?

[DavidDvorkin]

5. Tough choice

Neither one would really work, but if I had to choose, I'd prefer that the upper half be human.

How the details of coupling would actually work, I have no idea.

I mean to say, SCALES!

[greyl]

6. Any mermaid worth her salt

is slick and rubbery to the touch. Sans-Scales.

[DavidDvorkin]

8. Intriguing image.

[greyl]

9. You know, like a carp.

Yum yum, gimme some.

[DavidDvorkin]

10. Not so intriguing!

[greyl]

11. I meant to say like a catfish.

That probably doesn't increase the level of intrigue at all...

[moggie]

7. Hmm

This is where I think the film Splash went wrong. Someone with the legs of Daryl Hannah and the brain of a dolphin would have been way hotter.