15 surreal minutes

[charlie]

Surreal and howlingly funny.

Ever heard of Todd Friel? Ray Comfort associate and "wacky" radio DJ? He plays an on-air game called "What If?". He floats premises that so undeniably affirm God's awesomeness, his guest has to capitulate or squirm.

Somehow, Todd was inspired to invite Christopher Hitchens to play. And Hitchens gave him what could be the longest 15 minutes he ever experienced.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXllvdVVKsY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYNd7LD4jwU

Todd clearly wasn't prepared for anything beyond "your God sucks". Hitchens comes in from angles that bumfuzzle him, busts his rhythm, and exposes his Biblical ignorance. Todd hangs on to control of his show by his fingernails, ridiculously admonishing Hitchens with "that's not the question" ("that's my answer"), "yes, but WHAT IF?" ("I just told you"), and "remember, we're playing a game" ("yes, I know that") again and again. And again and again and again.

Around 2/3 in, Hitchens starts to get bleeped:
(Read Todd's parts in a "wild and crazy" DJ's voice)

FRIEL: What about lusting, sir? Jesus warned that if you commit...

HITCHENS: All the time.

FRIEL: ...if you lust in your mind...

HITCHENS: All the time.

FRIEL: So you've broken the commandment of adultery, correct sir?

HITCHENS: None of your (fucking) business.

FRIEL: All righty. So what we've basically done is determined how you would be doing on Judgment Day. Doesn't sound like you'd measure up AT ALL to God's 10 commandments.

HITCHENS: Who gives a (shit)?

FRIEL: Well. We're just playing a little game of "What If."

HITCHENS: Yes, I'm playing it right along with you.

FRIEL: All righty. So what would God do with you, sir?

HITCHENS: I'm glad you think it's a game, by the way.

FRIEL: What would you do...

HITCHENS: I rather agree with you (chuckle).

FRIEL: What would God do with you if he found you guilty of breaking His laws? Would he send you to heaven or hell? WHAT IF?

HITCHENS: Well, not heaven, I hope.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

1. I don't think Friel actually listened to Hitchens' answers

He was so caught up in the questions on the cue card, that he barely heard what Hitchens was saying. And he got destroyed, intellectually. He brought a butter knife to a gun fight, so to speak.

:rofl:

[laconicsax]

2. It's a classic.

I like your response the first time this went around.

What if...

Your straight man is wittier than you?

Your foil schools you on Biblical details you ought to know?

Your guest handles your fast talk and context switching like slow pitches over the plate?

You come off as someone who thought he could bag a rhino with toothpicks? *plink* *plink* *plink*

...you get buttfucked in front of millions, that's what.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=263&topic_id=36476&mesg_id=36477

Thanks for reposting this, I'd forgotten about the whole thing.

[charlie]

4. Kee-ripes!

I was laughing at it yesterday without an inkling I'd heard it before.

My synapses need soaking in plaque remover. Maybe a barrel of scotch...

[realisticphish]

3. is there a full transcript somewhere?

I don't like watching such drivel, but i'll read it...


note that I'm not asking YOU to transcribe it :D just if there's one somewhere

[charlie]

5. No, no transcript that I know of

There certainly won't be one from the apologetics side, Todd's an embarrassment.

The clips are audio only, if that makes a difference to you.

[realisticphish]

6. ah, i see

i might check them out

[trotsky]

7. That was freaking awesome.

I've been there - no, not as a caller on that radio show, but in a similar "gotcha" trap that some poor uneducated theist like that radio host tried to set. Hitchens handled himself pretty well, but the ending was a little weak. And although the swearing was IMHO justified, it reinforces the stereotype among the ignorant listeners that atheists are just mean sinners. (Which the ending also confirms - Hitchens spoke the truth, but it could have been stated differently.)

[charlie]

8. You too?

Down South, it's just a matter of sooner or later, because it's one of their favorite ways of "sharing".

Long ago, a guy stopped me and instead of arguing, I kept running off with his what ifs, enlarging them so that God was the awesomest, bestest God imaginable, and wouldn't dream of judging anyone unfavorably. It made him unsure of himself -- he couldn't be unkind since I seemed to be some sort of Christian, and he had to be careful with his objections, or he might argue that God wasn't the bestest.

It ended when he made his money pitch.

"Would you consider making a donation for this book? God will love you for it!"

"God will love me anyway."

For whatever reason, that was the last straw. All the friendliness left him and he looked at me and said:

"No. He. Won't."

And left. I heard him say it again -- "No, he WON'T" -- while he walked away.

I like to think that parting shot was more for him, to bolster his conviction, than for me :)

[amyrose2712]

9. Quite nice. nt

[Taverner]

10. Shit, if I did the 15 min challenge...

"What would God do with you if he found you guilty of breaking His laws? Would he send you to heaven or hell? WHAT IF?"

What if cows lived on the moon and made great cheese?

What if Pete Best had stayed in the Beatles?

Seriously - what if? OK - I'll play. Breaking God's laws? Which laws? From the Bible you say? Which Bible? Catholic? Coptic? Protestant? The Q'uran? Which version of the Bible? King James? New World? Revised Standard? Which language and which translation? Christians used to believe that the Bible was only good in Latin. Which books? Do we include the Apocrypha? How about the Christian Apocrypha? Gospel of Thomas? Gospel of Judas? And in the case of inconsistencies (there are many) which 'law' do I go with?

[laconicsax]

11. Wouldn't "God" know that you were going to break some law before you were even born?

Oh, sorry. I forgot that omniscience doesn't lead to predestination in most sects.

[mr blur]

12. "Wretched radio," indeed.

Some of these whackjobs barely have two brain cells to rub together.

[Soylent Brice]

13. i wish we could rec in here. n/t