amazing intolerance

[lazarus]

So, my ex-wife became my ex-wife about 17 years ago. Towards the end, she abandoned the atheism she had (probably) adopted for me, and started going to church. She got more and more fundie over the years, all the while jumping from guy to guy (at one point, living with three in a matter of two months). Of course, she met them all at church, so it's fine. :eyes:

She tried her best to raise our daughter as a fundie, too. I had something to say about that, of course, but she insisted on taking Kasii to church. I, of course, didn't on my weekends. I finally got custody of her at age 12, when Venece finally lost the ability to fake being a good parent (her beau at the time was pushing things, too). Fairly soon after I got her, Kasii decided she's going to be an atheist, too. I never brainwashed her or tried to force her into disbelief, I was just open about things when she asked.

Her mother kept insisting she go to church, pestering her about it whenever they spoke on the phone. In January, Kasii finally got up the courage to tell her mother she's an atheist.

Her mother hasn't called her since. She doesn't answer the phone when Kasii calls. Kasii's grandmother (another fundie) doesn't call or answer the phone. Neither of them respond to chat requests or emails. They've completely abandoned her. This while her mother is fighting cancer, and Kasii doesn't even know what's happening to her.

Good Christian family values. :mad: :grr:

[beam me up scottie]

1. Miserable wretches, it's all about them and their goddamn jeebus, isn't it?

As if your daughter did something to them instead of the other way around.

I am sorry you have to witness this but glad you trust your daughter to make up her own mind.
She's lucky to have you. :hug:

[onager]

2. Great. Take it out on the child...

Sorry you're going thru this. Those people suck mightily.

You might email them this charming story, which I just saw re-capped on MSNBC.

We have the Jebus-drenched American South; a youth pastor; a deacon (who was "on fire to be a minister or missionary"); the deacon's wife; both families friends; everyone immersed in the church since birth. Heck, both families even lived almost in the back yards of their parents.

What could go wrong?

Two families destroyed, along with the lives of seven little girls. That's all.

Pastor Admits Killing Church Deacon

ROME, Ga. -- Former pastor Richard Scott Harper pleaded guilty to the 2004 killing of church deacon Thad John Reynolds Wednesday. Harper killed Thad Reynolds in a deadly love triangle, police said.

...On July 5, 2004, Harper stabbed Thad Reynolds, a 36-year-old father of four, to death when he arrived at the northwest Georgia Frito-Lay distribution center where Reynolds was a district manager. Police said Reynolds was stabbed 19 times.

Michelle Sullins Reynolds is accused of conspiring with her lover to have her husband killed.

Both Harper and the Reynolds family attended Hollywood Baptist Church in Rome where Harper was an assistant pastor and Thad Reynolds was a deacon and marriage counselor.

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/17601578/detail.html

[yellerpup]

3. Lucky Kasii to have you.

Alienation is the price one pays for being closed to manipulation by one's parents, or mother in her case. The same think happened to me years ago when I started refuting the white supremacy line laid down by my folks. I only wish my dad was alive right now because the results of the research I've done into our genealogy line would kill him. What helped me cope with the rejection was a shrink reminding me: "It's them, not you." They never forgave me and I never stopped doing my best to love them in spite of it. And they never stopped trying to punish me for disagreeing with them. I don't know how their belief in Christianity could make such mental cruelty okay, how it excuses lying, or meddling in someone else's life and actively trying to do harm, but somehow the label works as an excuse. They are both dead now and I have no guilt because I always tried. Good luck to you and Kasii.

[Odin2005]

4. Like I always say, Religion = EVIL.

:grr:

[ZombieHorde]

5. That is a really tough situation. Sorry your family has been infected with

the fundie virus.

[TZ]

6. I know of a similar story

The intolerance and hatefulness of the uber religious ALWAYS surprises and depresses me. This extreme behavior is very cultish to me...God>>>>>>greater than family or friends in their minds.

[Soylent Brice]

7. that's rough.

not fair to your daughter at all.

sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders though. you gotta be glad about that!

[Warpy]

8. This kind of story makes me crazy

but you and your daughter are so lucky to have each other right now.

Your ex might wish to say goodbye to her daughter at some point, but probably not. The brainwashing and deadly fear of hell would be too much to cope with.

You do need to tell your daughter her mom is sick, though, physically sick. That might soften the blow a bit of having Mom reject her so completely.

A kind thing to do at this point also is to find a UU church, someplace you can show your daughter that not all spiritual people are hate filled whack jobs. Then it can be hands off while she grows up and decides who she is. Letting her think all people who go to church are as venomous as Mom and Grandma is a disservice, too.

[lazarus]

9. well

she does have the example of the Christians on my side of the family, who are good, loving people, for the most part.

My Dad converted to Judaism a few years back, so she's exposed to that, too. She's actually expressed interest in going to a temple service the next time we visit him.

I've tried to teach her that it's only a specific flavour of the crazy that results in behaviours like her Mom's. We do talk about religion some, because she's curious, but I think she's content to just let them go their own way, for the most part, without causing a fuss.

It helps that she's too lazy to do the research to properly argue with them. :hide: