Excellent Crap Movie alert (Send up the Onager Signal!)

[charlie]

It's THE RETURN, a YouTube movie production by Christo-loon luminary philos71 and his channel subscribers. The story, which must've taken tens of minutes and covered dozens of Post-It notes, is simply that Bible beaters WILL NOT be denied their right to be a persecuted underclass. It's epic, it's serious business, and it'll only take 6 1/2 minutes of your time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hbNZq7yurw

Or if you can't stomach earnest idiocy straight, you might enjoy it with running commentary by YouTuber Th1sWasATriumph:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVfg4G5VWVY

[WhollyHeretic]

1. I weep for those poor persecuted christians...

Living in such fear. Those 90% of Brazilians who are christian are going to be hunted down and killed, it's only a matter of time. Will no one speak up for these powerless people?



I love this line in the description of the "film"

--This film has been given artistic license to re-create these Biblical prophecies with a dramatic storyline and characters.--

Do they have something in writing from Jeebus? Is he getting any royalties? Maybe they gave him a couple points...

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

2. I need to buy bullets that don't lose their kinetic energy when they approach Xians.

Shoddy product.

[charlie]

3. When you get dependable bullets

shoot the Photoshopper who thinks Brazilians are Muppets.

[onager]

4. Thanks, I guess! To the Crap-cave, Robin!

I was so impressed I watched both versions. Triumph's comments made it a lot better, but I still wish I had watched it drunk.

"This was the worst thing I've ever seen. And I saw 'The Happening!'"

:rofl:

Couldn't agree more.

Production Notes:

Narrow Way Studios? Are we sure this wasn't a Catholic production? :evilgrin:

I didn't think the Oklahoma City street preacher looked a bit like Harrison Ford. He looked more like GW Bush mated with Tim McVeigh.

Lots of the comments cracked me up...

Why does the angel have a vuvuzela?

this took you two years! fucking hell, you would have thought jesus would have given you some talent, if he wanted you to make this, hey?

i Iove how the anti-Christ isn't white and the horseman and the angles are tells you a little something about the philos71 doesn't it

Uh-huh. Ties right in with the "music by Richard Wagner."

[rrneck]

5. Meh

God porn. Regular porn's better.