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So my fundy ex-wife is coming out for a visit

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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-05-11 05:27 PM
Original message
So my fundy ex-wife is coming out for a visit
When we were married, she gleefully joined me in playing games with the JW missionaries and we never went to church. As soon as we split, she went fundie, big time. Which was kinda hilarious, given how many beds she hopped with those fundie guys (one of whom abused my daughter terribly and put Venece (my ex) in the hospital.

So, my daughter is about to have a baby, any day now. My ex lives across the country from us, but is visiting (with her fundie mother) for a couple of weeks. NOT staying with us, thank Darwin.

The problem is, I'm a strong atheist. My wife is a paganish atheist. My daughter and her boyfriend are both atheists (he's more an apatheist, really). And they want to raise my granddaughter to be a good skeptic and let her make up her own mind when she's old enough.

Which drives my ex insane. More insane, actually.

So I'm not sure how to handle this visit. I was raised southern, which means you're always polite to your guests. But I'm very protective of my daughter, and she's already stressed out about this visit and the impending motherhood. And I'm about set on the idea of kicking my ex out of the house if she brings up church or baptism or anything.

Input is welcome.
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darkstar3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-05-11 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. Southern hospitality goes both ways.
"Madam, you are a guest in this house, and so I will have your silence on matters of raising my child."

I have a very "southern hostess" mother. She found ways to voice her displeasure when people interfered in her household.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-05-11 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. Make it clear ahead of time.
Your daughter's mother is welcomed. The Lawd isn't.
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Kerrytravelers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. This exactly.
It's your house and you shouldn't have to listen to that nonsense. If they want to talk to imaginary friends, they can do so somewhere else.

You need to be very clear. This is not the place for their superstition. They are the guests. Period.

I'm getting real tired of having to cater to people who believe in imaginary friends. I'll be respectful of their delusions as long as their respectful of my reality.
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Stuckinthebush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-07-11 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
4. Aw, man, Laz
I'm sorry, Dude! I think that the advice above is great. She is more than welcome to visit but once the god spew comes out she should be reminded that "we appreciate you visiting but don't appreciate the evangelicism. Kindly stop."

I'll drink a few drinks for you and pray to Darwin that you get through it. If you want, I'll stop her at the Alabama state line. :)

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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-07-11 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
5. Just set some firm limits and hope for the best
Your daughter is going to need help with a new baby and even if she is nuts, your ex is experienced in that, at least.
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-07-11 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. thanks, all
my daughter is now more worried about her grandmother, who is even more fundy, but I'm feeling better about it. My give-a-fuck-o-meter is pegged at zero for both of them, so Kasii wants me to be in charge of keeping them in line. I'm starting to look forward to it at this point. I haven't told anyone off for any reason in some time.

Stupid maturity. :D
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Stuckinthebush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-11-11 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Do us all a favor, Laz
Video the telling off. :D
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-11-11 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. no video here, but
i do have a digital recorder. I'll try to figure out how to use it and set it up. :evilgrin:
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Rozlee Donating Member (821 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-12-11 08:35 PM
Response to Original message
9. You guys are stronger than I am.
Probably because I'm the only atheist in a humongous Hispanic family of Catholics and I've been thoroughly cowed. But, I'd tell her (no, I wouldn't; I'm too much of a wuss) that Luke 9 says to wipe the dust from her feet when her message from gawd isn't received and move on. Or at least say no more. The bible discourages evangelizing where ears don't want to hear. Using the bible against them is the best tactic. But, of course, that never stops them.
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
10. AAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!!!
Hey, y'all. Did you know Cassandra was "that liar in the Bible"? :rofl:

That's who my ex claims my daughter was named after. In reality, it was the closest name that she found acceptable to what I wanted: Cassiopeia. One of my favourite constellations.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. You wanted to name your daughter after a big "W" in the sky?
:hi:

BTW: How did your daughter react to this revelation?
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. my wife, haele
passed the news on. Says she politely corrected my ex.

My daughter has actually toyed with changing her name to cassiopeia, she thinks it's pretty.

My favourite constellation is the Pleiades, but that doesn't make a nice name. :D
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. FWIW: The Pleiades are an open cluster in Taurus, not a constellation on their own.
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. ah
didn't know that. Never got into studying stars that much as a kid. I could never make out the patterns of most constellations, my brain doesn't work that way for some reason.

Thanks.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 09:53 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. You mean you can't see the obvious figures?
This is obviously a crab:


See? It's uncanny. :rofl:
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-14-11 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. now that you point it out
it's as clear as mud. :D
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-15-11 02:35 PM
Response to Reply #10
17. Cassandra was that liar in Homer...
Strange your ex found that name acceptable, if she knew the story:

1. Cassandra was so beautiful the god Apollo wanted to boink her. So he blessed her with the gift of prophecy.

2. When she refused to boink, he cursed her - her prophecies would all be true, but nobody would believe her.

3. As they didn't during the siege of Troy. When the city fell, she was violently raped in the temple of Athena, then taken as a concubine by Agamemnon. And later killed by Agamemnon's wife and her lover.
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