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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 12:50 AM
Original message
Okay, allow me a moment of weakness here...
Some of you may know my older brother is in Iraq now and it really sucks because I'm alone down here.

A really awesome catholic DUer offered to pray for him tonight and I think it was one of the nicest things I've ever seen.

I accepted it in the spirit with which it was meant.
And I did it gladly.

I may be less of an atheist in the eyes of some, but I love a whole lot of non-atheists and I don't know what I would do without them.

I'll go back to being an incorrigible, godless heathen in the morning.

For tonight, I'm nothing but grateful for my friends, whatever they are.

And that includes all of you guys too.
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alarcojon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 02:48 AM
Response to Original message
1. I have no problem with people praying for me or loved ones.
I don't think it does any good, but it doesn't do any harm either, and I take it more as moral support, given in that person's preferred manner.

Your brother is in my thoughts and prayers.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:29 AM
Response to Reply #1
6. Thanks.
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salvorhardin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 04:54 AM
Response to Original message
2. Impossible
You can't be less or more of an atheist. You just are or aren't and there's nothing wrong with accepting the well-wishes of friends no matter their philosophy; even if expressed through their religious beliefs.

I hope your brother stays safe and sane during this insane war. I wish he didn't have to be there and maybe someday there'll come a time when no one has to risk their lives for the folly of morally bereft and ethically crippled men. Until then he's in all our thoughts.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:34 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. Thank you.
I hate the bastards that expect people to die for oil.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 05:35 AM
Response to Original message
3. There's nothing wrong with gratefully accepting someone's offer of prayer
And it doesn't make you any less of an atheist. You weren't accepting the idea that god existed, etc., you were merely allowing yourself to receive an act of good will from someone.

Whenever somebody says they will pray for me I merely thank them. If they are someone I suspect of being a "for show" Christian I inwardly roll my eyes and think snarky thoughts. If, however, I believe their intentions are genuine I take their efforts for what they are--an attempt to provide some form of assistance/comfort.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. That's what was touching
about this gesture, the person asked if I minded.
How could I?
I live in a red state and I see plenty of "show" prayers, usually done in a very condescending manner.:mad:
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #8
20. I hate those "for show" prayers. They make me want to puke.
I have to bite my tongue to not tell the person to just cut the crap, and I have a really hard time not rolling my eyes in front of them.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. My ex-mil was an expert.
If I had been a little older and a lot wiser, I would never have allowed her to get away with the crap she pulled.
She always did it in public so that if I protested, I would look like the bad guy.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. She would have been a good one to remind that Jebus said to pray in a
closet, not in public for show like the Pharisees.:evilgrin:
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Beetwasher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:16 AM
Response to Original message
4. Nothing Wrong W/ That...If It Makes You Feel Better, I'll Confess
That I recently got married and had Jewish wedding with a rabbi and everything...I did it just for tradition sake and to make my folks happy...:shrug:

Sorry to hear your brother's in Iraq, that has to be nerve wracking! :hug:
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. Jewish weddings are so cool!
Congratulations!
:hug:
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YankeyMCC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
5. If it's a sincere expression of sympathy and support
Edited on Thu Aug-11-05 09:20 AM by YankeyMCC
it's only being human and gracious to accept it in that spirit.

Unfortunately it does nothing to actually help all it does it demonstrate (if it's sincere) that the person offering is sympathetic to what you're going through.

That's a hard thing to deal with (having a brother over there), it would weigh heavy on me if I had someone close to me over there. As it is I've had some acquaintances who've done tours in Afghanistan and Iraq and that was bad enough. I'm sure he'll do all he can to stay safe and come home ok and that you'll do all you can to give him whatever support he might need when he returns.

edit: fixed spelling.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:38 AM
Response to Reply #5
10. Thank you.
I'm starting to do the worry thing whenever I hear bad news from Ramadi.
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #5
16. Carl Sagan had good relationships with some clergy
Which, to me, showed the kind of man he was. During his final illness, his clergy friends would tell him they were praying for them, and he'd get this evil grin on his face. Personally, I think they were tell him that to crank him, especially if they were close friends. I know I'D have done that, in that situation.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. He was a great man.
And deserving of his many friends.
It sounds like they knew the importance of mutual respect.
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
11. Funky beliefs can't tarnish TRUE solidarity.
And while I'm at it, let me offer you my godless variety thereof. Living in a country that doesn't go to war willy-nilly like yours, I shudder to think what it would be like.
:hug:
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Thanks.
It's especially difficult because it's a National Guard unit and I know almost every soldier.
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:11 AM
Response to Original message
13. Not even believers know for sure what prayer does
Earlier this year, my four-year-old niece was gravely ill. I asked for prayers from devout DUers and good wishes from the non-devout. Both were generous.

My niece recovered completely and I asked my brother if he thought prayer had helped. He said he didn't know. Neither do I. We're both practicing Catholics.

But, he and my sister-in-law received word of many prayers, from all over the world, from people who'd heard of their plight and offered to pray for them. They came from the Mideast, Canada, Europe and Australia. Just the fact that so many people cared proved a source of strength for them through their ordeal. This is the one thing that I know prayer can do.
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:20 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. BEE EYE ANN FUCKING GEE OH
"Just the fact that so many people cared proved a source of strength for them through their ordeal."

THAT's it.
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:27 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. EXACTLY !!!
Compassion and kindness are more effective than wishing for miracles.
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. Adding my (usual late) good wishes
I hope your brother comes back home safe and sound.

As for the prayer thing, most of my family/friends back where I came from say this automatically when they hear I'm traveling.

I try not to ever take offense where none was intended. There are plenty enough bungholes out there who DO offend me intentionally...
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Hey!
Glad you're back!

I prayed for your safe return.

Kidding, of course, if I'd have done that, you'd probably have been crushed to death by an amorous lady camel.

I know what you mean about people purposely offending you.

Like people who who say atheists deny god after being told dozens of times why that's not true.
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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
22. "I accepted it in the spirit with which it was meant"
Exactly. It's all good. No need to make an issue of it.

Hope your Bro returns home safe!

Hugs,
Cindy in Fort Lauderdale
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Thanks.
Appreciate the support.
:hug:
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:07 AM
Response to Original message
25. I think most believers mean well.
It can be frustrating with so much in the world going on that you can't do anything about, but if you believe in a god and believe in prayer, you can reassure yourself that you CAN "do" something about it.

Best wishes to your bro and to you, bmus. :hug:
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:05 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. Thanks, Trotsky.
:hug:
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #25
38. Hey Trotsky! Where you been?
Long time no see!
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-13-05 07:13 AM
Response to Reply #38
41. Just been so busy lately.
I'm trying to relocate the laundry room so I can convert the larger room it's in now into a playroom for the kids. Over the past year I've ripped stuff out, busted up the concrete floor, patched it, rewired, etc. I'm halfway done with the sheetrocking, then I gotta run the plumbing, put down some flooring, replace a window, ugh. No rest for the wicked (atheist)!
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:26 AM
Response to Original message
27. Me too!
You all said it so well.

People's beliefs are a part of their personality and as difficult to change as their handwriting or walk. Add to that the conventions of our culture it's difficult to find a secular substitute for "you are in my prayers."

My mother, who knew I was an atheist, always said that to me when I was having problems, and all I could do was express my thanks. It wasn't the time for philosophical debate.

You know you did the right thing, and once again, I won't report you to the head atheist, because I don't want this to be taken down and added to your permanent record.

It's tied up in the way we use language. A prayer is a strong wish. And either way my wishes are with your brother. With casual conversations, it's easiest to just say "my prayers are with you" (and hope you don't get caught.)

--IMM
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. Thank you.
In this case, it was really touching that someone respected me enough to ask me if I minded.
And it was a kind gesture that they actually cared enough to want to pray for a member of my family.

Thanks for the kind thoughts (and for not finking on me to the head atheist).
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Remember...
Your permanent record follows you through life.

--IMM
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Ah, but how do you know
I am who I say I am and not somebody else?

I could be a Reptoid double agent and you'd never know...
:evilgrin:

I like referencing Reptoids.
Although some people get awfully upset for some reason...
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. That does it!
Now we're all doomed! I have never been able to detect Reptoid double agents, and I am on a constant vigil for them. You should be able to understand why we (people) might be upset.

You have also quoted (inadvertantly, though I have my suspicions) my favorite bad movie, "Howard the Duck" wherein the Professor, who has been possessed by the evil Overlord of the Universe, and just demolished a diner full of truck drivers, confides to Howard, "It's not me. I'm somebody else."

Otherwise, I am well aware of the deceptions invoked by those in fear of a black mark on their permanent record (which follow you through life.) Be very afraid!

--IMM
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. You just didn't have the right sunglasses.


Howard Duck was a very good bad movie.
I am a devoted John Carpenter fan, one of the best movie lines ever:

"I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum."
~Nada
from "They Live"
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salvorhardin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. We only get upset
Because you're blowing our cover. :evilgrin:
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. Damn sunglasses!


I was seriously thinking about resurrecting my tribute to "They Live" signature line but now they're enforcing the sig line rules.:evilfrown:
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Zhade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
35. Well, it's not like your accepting their beliefs as fact.
You're just allowing them to hope for the best for your brother, in their own way. That's totally cool with THIS atheist.

I thought about you yesterday, L - he's in Ramadi, right? I hear there's heavy fighting there. :(

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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Thanks, Zhade.
Yeah, he's in Ramadi.
It really sucks because he's with the scouts and they are usually the first ones called out when there's trouble.
They're switching from Hummers to Bradlees which should mean they'll have better protection from IEDs.
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Zhade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. I'll think good thoughts for him, and for you.
NT!

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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. thanks
:hug:
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Gelliebeans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-13-05 03:27 AM
Response to Original message
40. Thinking good thoughts for
your brothers safe and expedient return. As for the prayer thing, I believe it was a gesture of empathy for another human being like others have posted.

You aren't a lesser atheist, their is no purity test for compassion :)

By the way little antidote off topic* Two baptist came to my door last week and attempted to shove their paperwork in my face. I pointed to my sign over my doorbell (No Soliciting), I said, "You must be from Kansas, have they changed the english curriculum there too?"

I know, I know I was a big meanie, hee hee
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