My favorite Kerry story

[elshiva]

One of my friends told me this one. A couple of days before the election, there was this party/fundraiser covered on TV. There were all these balloons floating around in the air. This young, eager female reporter aproached Kerry with a microphone and squeaked, "Hello, Senator!"
Kerry responded by bouncing a blue balloon off of her head twice.
"Isn't this great," he said.

This action so casual, free, and strangely cordial reveals something about his character that is so attractive to me, but I can't express it in words...

[WildEyedLiberal]

1. How adorable!

He's soooo cute. He could bounce a balloon off my head anyday.

[elshiva]

2. Yes, definitely, me too!

God will bounce a cosmic balloon off of Kerry's head as sign of divine favor.
Blessings and balloons.

[TayTay]

3. My fav is still that St. Pat's breakfast

where he just showed up and totally stunned the crowd. He was taking so much shit about the revelations in the Globe that he was 1/4 Jewish and that he was not Irish. (Stupid, stupid thing for people to be upset about.) And everyone thought that he just wouldn't show at the breakfast. (He doesn't have the stones to show up, he's chicken, etc.) And then he not only shows up unexpectedly, but strides in, and has that moment. Stands dead center of podium, spreads his arms out wide and just dares the crowd, "Who says I didn't have the matzo balls to be here." Everyone just fell apart. It was my fav moment cuz it was so in-your-face fools. Now shut the hell up about it. And people did. It didn't come up again. LOL! Brilliant.

I am so looking forward to this years event. Again, he is taking shit for losing last year. I can't wait for his entrance and reply. It should be good. He is a funny guy. This should be a classic.

[JI7]

4. i liked the prostate joke

it was during a florida state democratic convention before the primary voting started.

all the candidates were there to give speeches.

Kerry gave his speech which included talk of health care and the prostate cancer he had and got treated for under the congressional health care plan and which he wanted to give to all americans. and then he says something like "if you are wondering whether a guy without a prostate can be President(people couldn't stop laughing just at this part) , there have been Republican Presidents without a heart. "

even some on DU were surprised by the joke. but it was so unexpected and very funny.

[TayTay]

7. Sigh, why didn't this side come out more?

He is a funny guy. If he ever runs again, I am going to collect the canonical list of jokes by Kerry and pass them out or something. There is this warm, human, funny side to him that I just love.

[elshiva]

13. What struck me as funny, yet nobody laughed at it,

was a joke during the second debate where JK said something like "The president does not live in reality, now that's OK for a Red Socks Fan, but.." I thought it was funny, but I think no one laughed because everyone knows JK is a Red Socks fan.

[JohnKleeb]

16. What was even more funny is how the sox came back to beat the hated yanks

I am an orioles fan but I hate the Yankees so much.

[elshiva]

18. As once upon a time Orioles fan,

I cheered the Sox. There's this t-shirt that I saw in ME that says, "I have two favorite teams, the Red Sox and whatever teams beats the Yankees." Don't like the Orioles much, but I still hate the Yankees. I like the Sox only cos they hate the Yankees, too.

[elshiva]

8. Exquisite and funny, yet sad, really sad

That's what I like about JK's humor. It's sad that he had cancer, it's sad that Dubya's so heartless, it's sad we don't get the health care we deserve as Americans, yet you laugh at the utter depression of them all combined.

[elshiva]

5. When was this St. Pat's thing?

Did he really say, "Who says I didn't have the matzo balls to be here." That does not sound like Kerry. But the arms wide open gesture is classic Kerry. Something about the St. Pat's brings the best out of Kerry...

(1990)
I can't wait for this year's either.

As a half-Jew, I was damn proud to vote for Kerry. Yes, I almost cried at Lieberman's VP acceptance speech in 2000, too.

[TayTay]

9. This pic is late '80's.

That's Kerry and the guy with the mike to his lips is Billy Bulger, then MA Senate Pres. Seated beneath Bulger are Kitty and Mike Dukakis, so it was pre-89, at the least. (Best guess '86.)

Oh yes, Kerry said that. I watched it live on local tv. The breakfast is a big event in Boston. Very big. It is telecast on local TV and lately they have added a runway show before the event, so you get local commentators interviewing people as they go into the hall in Southie. People hire professional joke writers to give them material. And Kerry is usually one of the highlights, when he can make it. (There are actually around 9 breakfasts statewide, he tries to make a few. This is the only televised one.)

My husband is Jewish and he laughed harder than I did. In your face indeed.

Here is a news story about that event that is extremely local:
http://www.dotnews.com/stpats03.html

[elshiva]

11. Thanks, but the it said 1990 for the pic on

the Boston Globe article.
http://www.boston.com/globe/nation/packages/kerry/images/day7/01.htm
BTW: For someone who likes matzo balls that joke is a bit gross, but I think it is funny with the image of his arms out like that.

[TayTay]

12. Geez, I originally said '89

I wasn't that far off.

Sorry you were offended. Ahm, it was a joke.

[elshiva]

15. I was NOT offended. I laughed. Thank you

for the story TayTay. Really as a half-Jew, I enjoy hearing anything related to JK's Jewishness.

[Pirate Smile]

19. I never understood why people were pissy about it. His grandparents

picked a name (County Kerry) off a map and changed their religion to Catholic because of the hell that was occurring in Europe. They didn't tell their kids or grandkids.

Why would people blame Kerry for that? He was completely unaware, just like Madeline Albright.

The logic of that missed me.

[LittleClarkie]

20. I can't get my conservative friends to believe that he didn't know

"Sure he did," they say.

Also, from what I understand his dad didn't like talking about family history much. But then, having your dad kill himself in the bathroom of his own department store would tend to make a person not want to talk about stuff like that. I wonder how much of that Kerry knew about. When the Globe showed him the clippings from that incident, he just kept repeating "How awful." Some thought that helped him understand his father, but it made me wonder how much of Kerry's history Kerry really knew.

[Pirate Smile]

23. From what I've seen, his father wasn't exactly a warm and fuzzy kind

of Dad. How much did his Grandparents tell his Dad? I mean you don't just change your name and religion and move to a different continent to talk about why you changed your name and religion and moved across the world.

[elshiva]

25. Maybe they were ashamed to be Jewish?

Remember the Eastern Europeans persecuted the Jews long before the Nazis came on the scene. That's why us Eastern European Jews (i.e. Woody Allen) have that built in inferiority complex, that makes us so cute.

[JohnKleeb]

27. I think it was fear of discrimination actually

Hey if I had darker eyes and curlier hair, I could pass for Jewish, I got the hair coloring down pretty good.

[elshiva]

33. It was more likely that...I do not hate on Jews, I am one.

[TayTay]

29. Oh, I don't believe that at all.

The Senator's brother Cameron has converted to Judaism and attends a temple near Boston. I hardly think that connotes being ashamed. Here is a link to a sympathetic story about that:
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/article/issue128/luckerman.phtml

My apologies, I posted a half-Bostonism and then left it to whither on the vine. The whole uproar about the ancestry thing was not about ancestry. (That is a bit much, even for Massachusetts. I mean no one really cared.) It was about the long-standing grumpiness of MA people towards Kerry. (Sigh, long story.) There are some here who have always perceived Kerry as too good to be true. So they have sought to 'bring him down' and pick on any little thing to do so. It is schadenfreude. It is the attempt by some to level the playing field, not let people get above themselves. (Sigh, this explanation is probably not going to work. Too regional.)

There have always been people here abouts who are jealous of Kerry and his rise to that Senate seat. There are also folks who feel that the Senator is not 'one of us.' (Whatever the hell that means.) This kind of weirdness peeks out around corners at the oddest times. And so it goes. But, he gives as good as he gets.

EDIT: Kerry got that Senate seat at the tender age of 41. He had held statewide elective office in MA for exactly two years. He had national exposure before that as an anti-war activist. Then the awful Congressional race in Lowell. Then he spent some time in exile, attending BC Law School, being a DA for Middlesex county, private practice, etc. The he ran for and got the Lt. Gov's job. Lt. Gov is not perceived as the most prestigious of positions from which to spring to the US Senate. He did so. Jealousy ensued. Does this make sense? There is a reason some of us are called Massholes and it doesn't just have to do with the way we drive. We know how to keep and nurture grudges.

[elshiva]

32. I don't mean Cameron, mean his ancestors, oh nevermind

Thanks TayTay

[TayTay]

39. Sweetie, I know what you meant

The press coverage in MA made it sound like it was about some stupid ancestry thing. Not so. It was about facing down your critics and telling them that you don't fade just from a little criticism. I loved the sheer ballsiness of that appearance.

We are simpatico here. I know what you meant. I also thought it was interesting about Kerry's brother. He's quite a guy all by himself.

[elshiva]

47. Thanks for calling me, sweetie, TayTay

Being from MD, I am not one to understand anything about MA politics. For example, I did not who in the heck John Kerry was two years ago.
Now I am glad I do and even know a little something about his brother. Cameron is pretty cool. I love the whole Jewish-Catholic mix of the family.

[ginnyinWI]

31. it's the way it was back then

My husband's grandfather was an immigrant from Germany after WWI, and just adopted the American culture and language and left Germany behind. Didn't talk about it. It seems to take a few generations, and then the grandchildren or great-grandchildren get interested in their roots again. Being German or being Jewish was not a "plus" for an immigrant back then.

[Vektor]

37. Anytime I hear someone talking shit

about Kerry whether it be the Jewish thing, or Vietnam, or what have you, I ask if they have read his biography, Tour of Duty, A Call to Service, The New War or seen Going Upriver - all in their entirety. Invariably they say "no". I then tell them that until they have taken the time to fully educate themselves about Kerry's life, times, and history, their opinion is completely invalid and not worthy of addressing, because it is based on no real information. I then offer to lend them said literature, and to continue the conversation once they are actually armed with some factual knowledge about the man, and can feasibly hold their own in a discussion with me.

This usually nips things in the bud real quick.

[LittleClarkie]

43. Too true

Invariably they formed their opinion of him based on him being rich and a lifetime politician. Alot of the snide comments come from that. But I have read Tour of Duty, I own A New War and Going Upriver, plus whatever articles I could find on the man, the Newsweek profile issue, several of his speeches, his 1971 testimony in its entirety.

We are the ones Newsweek referred to in their article, or rather Kerry's nephew referred to us as the one who got to know Kerry and became "intensely loyal."

That's us alright, intensely loyal to the bone.

[ginnyinWI]

40. oh people are so cynical,

aren't they? Because, yeah, a lot of politicians are indeed phonies. Ever since Nixon and Watergate, people take them with a huge grain of salt, and most of the time they should. I mean, look at our rich, elitist prez posing as a Texas rancher? But since getting to know John Kerry, my faith is restored; there are decent, honest politicians in this America.

On that note, I watched Durbin give a terrific speech on the Senate floor this morning denouncing Gonzales. If only everyone in America could hear it! He's a really good guy.

[whometense]

41. I heard Durbin speak.

He did a great job. So far the dems' speeches - at least the ones I've heard - have been a lot more content-rich than those from the other side.

Also emotion-rich. The repugs are heavy on the fake moral outrage.

[ginnyinWI]

42. you're right

:) They are acting like the Dems are only doing it to be obstructionist, and trying to muddy the issue of who was responsible for the memo. I'm glad Durbin added all the historical context, something the public is sorely in need of. He made an excellent case, I thought. Hutchinson, as usual, was really weak. I guess, though, that they don't feel they have to try very hard, that he will be confirmed anyway. :(

[Pirate Smile]

49. Al Franken played a long clip on his show - 5 minutes plus about the

death penalty, etc. because he thought it was so effective.

It was good!

[TayTay]

30. Okay, how about this one?

Boston Globe 3/18/96

Although it is still eight months away from the US Senate election, the race between Weld and Sen. John F. Kerry was very much in evidence. For the past two weeks, both men have been racing from one Irish roast to another, using the free-wheeling events to court the reliable Irish, Democratic vote. They saved their best jokes for yesterday.

Kerry began by referring to the recent controversy surrounding his wife parking in front of a fire hydrant outside their new Louisburg Square townhouse on Beacon Hill.

"I came today because I want to address the parking issue head-on," he said. Seconds later, his wife, Teresa Heinz, arrived at the door, carrying a plastic fire hydrant.

"I was out finding parking, and I couldn't find one so I made one," she said, to loud applause.

Then Kerry and Heinz, dressed in a dark green suit, began a sketch about her much-publicized wealth.

"Now, I want everyone to know whether you like Massachusetts. Do you like it here?" he asked.

"Yes, I love Massachusetts," she said, straight-faced. "How much is it?"

While Kerry stayed away from attacking Weld in Worcester last Sunday, he shredded the governor yesterday in a long poem he composed himself.

"A twister in Great Barrington devastated the town, but where was the governor? He could scarcely be found. 'This is no disaster,' the governor replied. 'Let me tell you about a tragedy. Jerry Garcia just died.' "

Better?

[elshiva]

50. LOL, thanks, TayTay.

Not better, just as fantastic as the OP!
Where is the full text of the silly poem?

[Vektor]

36. Actually yes...

He did make the Matzo Balls comment...
I have seen the video footage, it was SO CUTE.

[Vektor]

35. Totally funny!

I saw that clip, and he's actually half Jewish. Both his father's parents are Jewish.

He's my little multi-ethnic stud.

[JI7]

6. i liked the snowball fight he got into in Iowa

the first lady of Iowa Christie Vilsack actually started it by throwing a snowball to some reporters and making it seem as if Kerry did it. and the reporters started throwing snowballs at Kerry and a snowball fight started. they even started grabbing and smearing each other with snow.

it was just really cute .

[elshiva]

10. Yes, wonderful image

and Dean's snowball fight...

[JI7]

14. wow

i don't think i ever saw Dean in as casual clothes as in that pic, especially the jeans.

all the times i have seen him he is in a suit or a formal sweater and pants.

that's a great pic though.

[elshiva]

17. Yes, Dean always seems out of place in suits

he seems to me a casual sort of guy because of his straight talk. While JK seems perfectly at home in them because of his eloquence.

[Blue_In_AK]

21. I love John Kerry

I love him more with each day that goes by. I would never say anything bad about those other guys -- Dean, Clark, Gore -- but I LOVE John Kerry. He's the best president this country never had.

[WildEyedLiberal]

22. That pretty much sums my opinion up

:) :loveya:

[elshiva]

24. Ditto, but

I also love Dean more and more each day, too. They are both funny, sensitive, and kind like Gore, but more so, I can't explain...

[ginnyinWI]

26. Shadow President Kerry

gotta love him...

<img src="">

[saracat]

28. You know , I asked Kerry about that, coming from a

partially Boston Irish family myself, and he made a point of saying that he actually did have an Irish grandmother. I told him, and this is true, that many Irish, my family included, believe that Ireland is the lost tribe of Israel. That is why so many Irish go into business with Jews, especially in law firms. My Dad's favorite example though was "O'Brien's Kosher Delicatessen" ! It was real!

[Vektor]

38. When did you talk to him?

OMG. You have met my hero? May I touch your post?

[Lavender Brown]

44. Whoa

Bad word choice there. :o

[Vektor]

45. HAHAHA

Maybe you're right. Silly me.

[TayTay]

46. Really?

Huh! Must be the maternal side. I never heard this. Maybe some of those Brahmins were getting some on the side. Well, explains all the singing.

[elshiva]

48. The Jewish presence in Boston in legendary

there was this great documentary narrated by Nimoy.

[TayTay]

51. Oh yeah, he's from Boston

The old West End, that was torn down in a legendarily bad example of how not to do urban renewal.

Jewish history goes way back in New England. (Truro Synagogue in RI goes back a long way. Congregants from the Truro did a lot to help the American Revolution get off the ground, get supplied, get financed and so forth. Very interesting history.)

[elshiva]

52. Yeah right on and all that!

[Vektor]

34. HAHAHAHA

I would have LOVED to have seen this. How cute!
MY GOD I LOVE THIS MAN.