OT-- I'm exhausted.

[MonteLukast]

You probably have seen me make a big emotional mess of myself elsewhere on this website, trying to defend another man named John whom I had much admired.

And there's no more fight left in me. I'm exhausted and sorrowful. I fear losing friends over this... I just found out that a longtime friend has left a beloved community of ours, when she'd previously been one of its biggest boosters. It's frankly made me depressed enough to want to avoid socializing online altogether.
I kept going because of the meta, I told myself... it's always about the meta: about the broader emotions and patterns involved, all the lesson I thought we should be taking away from it. Indeed, I just posted a piece over there about how important equal partnership really is. I still believe in that lesson... but it's time to move on. Something I've historically been terrible at.

And I'm touched throughout by OUR John's big heart and true friendship (see the Teresa GMA thread). At least I still have their love and partnership to admire and look up to.

I haven't been here enough to be close, more than likely. I wonder if some might view me with suspicion because of my presence in other arenas. I guess, regrettably, it's been tougher for me to celebrate and congratulate than to fight and decry.

But seeing JK be successful and influential is like watching a dream come true, so much that I can forget about what might have been post-2004, because right now is so good to him.

Plus, this group has featured some of the most intelligent conversation I've seen from DU. Over the last two months, it's been just about a life-sustaining oasis.

So... I believe it was you who asked me to, beachmom... I am now ready to move on. I think I need to take a break from the tubes for a little while to really get moving on. But I know that as long as we have JK as inspiration, we will always hold a little reassurance in the back of our minds, knowing he's fighting for us and we have each other.

:hug:

[JI7]

1. we may disagree on some things, but i always see you as belonging here

[wisteria]

2. I have always felt you belonged here. But, I understand how emotions can sometimes get the best of

you. Take a break if you must, but always remember you are welcome back here anytime.

[sandnsea]

3. Slightly confused, very sorry you're in pain

I'm taking it that you're speaking of John Edwards and if that's the case, I'll just say I am sorry you're having a difficult time with it. It is all very discouraging, that's for sure.

As for the rest of your post, I'm clueless to what you're talking about. I have no idea why you would need to move on from here, unless you want to. I enjoy your presence and hope you will stick around or come back when you have time.

[ray of light]

4. I think taking a break helps everyone. We all get so passionate about our ideas

and the people/values we support. What JRE did is really horrifying to his strongest supporters, and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

I know I took a really long break from here. Lurked once in a while. But the down time really is just for peace of mind.

[karynnj]

5. You shouldn't feel unwelcome

The purpose of this forum is sharing information on John Kerry and discussing it. When you've done that, I have never seen anyone take offense to anything. But, as one who has commented on some of your comments on the bigger forums, I think I need to explain that disagreeing with a POV or conjecture, is not personal.

I actually, at several points, wished I had the relationship to reach out to the many sweet, sincere Edwards' supporters ( as opposed to many nasty ones who were the worst on this board in attacking JK unfairly) in this long saga. I can understand, how for many, it is hard to realize that they were deceived and to surrender the beautiful, comforting picture they had of the Edwards' family and of his goal of helping the poor. They also had a huge amount of themselves invested in the Edwards campaign.

I never really liked Edwards, but it hurts to think what Emma Claire and Jack are going through at very vulnerable young ages in a world where kids their age are proficient on the internet. Although it overstates it, it is hard not to think of the Book of Job, when thinking of Elizabeth - she has had so many things she valued most taken from her - a son, her health, her marriage, and now, her reputation. (Now there were some high points in between - ie being tapped as the "second family".)

I think with any public person, we need to remember that, though we might know more "facts" about the life of some politician than we do of a sibling, we do not know them. Most of what we know is what they want us to know. I think the web, with it's abundance of instantly available pictures, tapes, and personal stories, aggravates this. I remember reading an interview of Paul McCartney, where he spoke of some fans knowing more about his "life" than he did. Now, obviously on a real level, that was not true - but there likely were fans, who could recite all the public details better - but who, of course, didn't really know him.

We can and should respect public figures, who do good things, but we have to remember that they are people and, for the most part, their private life should be private.