John Kerry ascends the stage, wearing nothing but blue body paint...

[rockymountaindem]

"My fellow Americans...

George Bush is responsible for EVERYTHING BAD THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED! He's a fucking criminal and he's gonna pay for all of this. I'm going to march down Pennsylvania right now, bare-ass naked, and CONFRONT that sack of shit. I personally challenge his MANHOOD in front of the national audience!!! It's time to get loud, I'm sheding any pretense of decorum and I invite you all to join me in opening up a tremendous protest down there. THROWDOWN, MAN, THROWDOWN!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Would that make those people in GD happy?

:sarcasm:

[TayTay]

1. Geez, that;'s kind ah, ahm, geez

I kind of got this mental image of that actually happening and, ahm, it didn't exactly bother me.

Sigh! It's been a long day.

[jillan]

2. Dam - I was hoping this was for real!

It's been a long week!

Maybe it's time for a hot Kerry thread??

[jillan]

3. Lol!

I googled "Naked Kerry" and this is what I found!

Hope is on the Way :)

[TheDonkey]

4. Don't visit GD

haha, I'll go to GD:P but GD can be a little thick at times.

[globalvillage]

5. I was thinking the same thing

about the bottom post on that stair railing.

[WildEyedLiberal]

6. Sorry, my mind shut down after the words "bare ass naked"

:evilgrin:

[whometense]

11. Mine too.

:evilgrin:

[saracat]

7. I dunno but it might make me happy!

The visual almost did me in! You have a way with words. Tell us another story please! What happens next???????:evilgrin:

[rockymountaindem]

9. Uhhh... didn't think that far ahead...

I'll get to work on that. Thanks for the compliment!

[TayTay]

10. See what happens to the poor guys in the group

They start an innocent PARODY about JK and the LLL go, hmmmm, nice scenario, what happens next.

I feel for you RockyMD. I really do. Women can be su unpredictable. And you just an innocent college boy. I feel for you dear.

[Noisy Democrat]

28. What does LLL stand for? n/t

[TayTay]

31. It stands for:

Libidinous Liberals Lasses Love Looking Longingly at Lanky Leaders.

I know, I know, it should be LLLLLLLL, but that is simply too, too much. So I shortened it to LLL.

Libidinous is in there cuz freepers wouldn't know what it meant.

I hae yet to make up an alliterative for our beloved guys in here. I'll think about it.

[Island Blue]

8. What a nice mental image to wake up to

I'll bet Kerry would need a lot more body paint than Shrub would (if you know what I mean). :evilgrin: Challenge his manhood indeed!

[jillan]

12. lol!

[Island Blue]

13. Who gets to apply John's blue body paint, by the way?

So much more pleasant to think about than Shrub's evil incompetence.

[rockymountaindem]

14. He probably put it on himself.

Dubya is the one who would need help. 'Course, Dubya would probably be wearing some dopey-ass suit of armor with a crown on the helmet. I was kind of thinking about Braveheart when I wrote that. Nobody was naked in that movie though, except for the one time a Scot mooned the English line and got shot in the ass with an arrow.

In ancient times, though, the Britons were known for fighting naked against the Romans. The Britons also liked to get hopped up on 'shrooms and beer before battle, but I doubt the good Senator would do something like that.

[TayTay]

15. Well, I saw both the fake Braveheart and the 'real' one

recently in Scotland and the fake one has a way, way, way cuter butt. If I may explain:

The outfit warn by Mel Gibson in Braveheart is from the 6th Century and shows a Pict warrior. They did use the face paint and all and used he warrior scream and all that to intimidate their enemies.

The Scots were a tribe from Ireland who landed in Scotland around the 6th century and inter-married with the Pict tribes. (So, much as my Scottish gide was loathe to admit it, the Scots are Irish, and the name of the Irish tribe became the name of the land.)

William Wallace was a 12th century warrior. He dressed like a knight, in chain mail and leather jerkins. (Think of the undefined armor used in Lord of the Rings.)

The William Wallace who poses for pics on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh is a hoot and a half. He is this guy who poses for official Wallace postcards and posters and stuff and lives off the royalties from this. He also has the 'Lion Rampant' tatooed on his thigh. In typical Scots humor, he will flash his thigh at you and let you know what Scotmen really wear under their kilts, but you can't take a picture of his upper thigh. See, because of the royalties and all, he's gone and had to copyright his arse. (Damn, I love the Scots.)

Adam, my man, this whiskey's for you dear. Best arse and fart jokes in Scotland. Sigh! (Damn, I had a good time over there.) Gawd, I hope this brings someone a laugh tonight. We need all the laughs we can get.

[Island Blue]

16. Great story

And since the Scots are Irish, that means that John Kerry is Irish afterall because the Forbes side of his family is from Scotland (if I'm remembering correctly). Not that it matters of course - it's just kind of funny that he's Irish in a going around your arse to get to your elbow kind of way.

[TayTay]

17. I hadn't thought of that. Kudo's to you!

I really like that. Although, given the wonderful, outspoken, kind and funny Scots that I met (who were also real earthy and kind of randy to boot) I wouldn't mind if John Kerry was a Scot. In fact, I would really rather like that.

[karynnj]

18. But he's then both

John Kerry, through the Forbes side is part Scottish - which may account for that side of his personality - as you and others have quoted things calling him all of those things. And if Scots are descended from an Irish tribe that intermarried , they are all are probably part Irish and Pict. (So the Boston Globe owes him an apology) Very Celtic!

Incidentally, the current Boston Globe guidebook to Boston has a section on famous politicians - and for Kerry, who they identify as a Senator since 1984 and the Presidential candidate in 2004, they say he is not a Massachusetts native (pointing out that he was born in Denver,Co), but he nows live at a proper Boston address in Louisberg (?) Square in Beacon Hill. (paraphrased because I don't know where I put the book)

[TayTay]

19. Hahahahahahahahaha

That is completely hilarious. The Globe wants it both ways again. Kerry's a 'blue-blood' patrician who is decended from Massachusetts First Families. Kerry was not born here, so he's not a native. Hahahahahahahaha. How dumb can they be.

(Although, as Whome can attest, there is a certain mindset around here that dictates that if you weren't born here, your not a native. But in Kerry's case, this is absurd. He is a descendant of the Forbes and the Winthrops, ferchrisakes. Forbes family made their fortune in the China tea trade. It just doens't get any more old Boston than that. Honest. Shipping is a signature thing of those old families. And he has a nice levening of groups that have come over since, just to keep him honest.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it. And believe me, John Kerry is from, of and integrated into Massachusetts and Boston. Honest-to-Gawd, he is a dyed in the wool Masshole.

TayTay almost choked with laughter when she read that one. Who else says, "Ideer?" Who else films praises to the Red Sox and how much their victory meant to him last year, though he might have had other things on his mind over the winter. And, btw, the places on Louisberg Square are called Residences, as in, the owner is in residence when there, not in residence when elsewhere. Just a Louisberg Square thing. (Except now I have a mental pic of him covered in blue paint, hanging out on Beacon Hill, drinking a scotch and calling Bush out as a 'Motherf*cker. You guys, honestly. What would I do without you guys. This is great stuff.)

I find the Residence thing funny. I just do. It just always makes me laugh. I'm probably a loon. But it does. It's so, ahm, quaint.

[whometense]

22. I'll back that up.

I've lived in MA since I was three, but I still don't consider myself a native. No accent. :-( I haven't got Kerry's exalted lineage, either. I don't even say "ideer".

Sniff. I do live about a five minute walk from JFK's birthplace though. Do I get credit for that??

[TayTay]

24. I gave you a dispensation months ago

I have the friggin history of the Commonwealth in my DNA. My father was 16th generation New Englander. His ancestor got off the boat in Boston in 1636. My relatives have fought in every war that has touched, first the New England colonies, and then the American nation. (Lexington and Concord included. They lived in Watertown at the time. Hop, skip and jump to shooting Redcoats on April 19th, 1775.) And I have the paperwork and gravestones to prove it. (Several searchable online.)

I am also French, Irish and German. It just doesn't get anymore Massholey than that. (Complete with the freeze out story from one side of the family when they married a Catholic back in the day.)

So, you count. I know Kerry's family got good press and made money, but there were others who came over here, no doubt enticed by the farming possibilities, :crazy: the climate, :crazy: and the ambience of the place :crazy:. And if you stay here, despite the climate, the long winters, the bad drivers and the Globe, then you are a friggin Masshole. Rejoice woman. Rejoice.

And I have accent enough for the both of us. Remember the wicked scorcha! And you root for the Sawx. I think of you as a native.

[whometense]

26. awwww....thanks!

:hug: I'll take your dispensation and run with it. ;-)

My favorite line from Good Will Hunting (ultimate Masshole movie): "My boy's wicked smaht."

And Kerry's a total Masshole - he's just landed on the ritzy side of the tracks.

[TayTay]

27. Completely

and he is wiced smaht. And wicked pissed.

And I loved that movie. I took my mothah to see that one. She loved it too! It was the uber-Boston movie. (I knew guys like that when I lived in Dorchester. And I knew wicked smaht people when I worked in the Computer Research place with all those MITers. We have all types in good ole Boston.)

And yes, my Senator;s wicked smaht. Wish they all were, but instead we have too many George Allen's. (Gag).

[karynnj]

25. My husband had bought the book, and I hadn't noticed the title

but as soon as I read that paragraph, I looked and was not surprised.

It also seems weird as his dad was in the service and I think he had lived in Massachusetts before that. Weren't they only in Denver, because his dad was hospitalized - so he can't seriously claim he's a Coloradan. (Although he did tell people in Denver he was born there.) So, if he's not a native of Colorado or Massachusetts - where is he from - heaven?

I can't picture blue paint - blue shirts and blue jeans,yes

[Vektor]

20. Is it edible body paint?

:9

[TayTay]

21. Hey kid, nice to hear from you

I kind of knew this thread would get posted to by you and WEL.

I hope it's edible. Damn!

[Vektor]

23. That would be tasty.

I have a new offering for the naysayers.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2056200&mesg_id=2056616

[Island Blue]

29. I think we need a blue body paint haiku.

Please Vektor!

[wildflower]

30. LOL, just saw this - thank you

for my first laugh today. :)

wildflower