WOULD YOU HIT THIS? Part IV

[Vektor]

Baby, you can put that thumb anywhere you want!
(My GOD everything about him is so gorgeous!)



Heh heh...I just farted, and I am TOTALLY going to blame it on this kid over here.



So, have any of you gals ever been tea-bagged?


As soon as we're done looking at all his dull stuff, I'll bust out last night's naked twister pics...WildEyedLiberal and Vektor were there.


Dear Diary, there are no words to describe this.

[WildEyedLiberal]

1. HELLO STRANGER!

LOOK at those HANDS in that first pic!

RAWR!

Let the kink begin!

[Vektor]

2. You're here!

YAY!

[WildEyedLiberal]

3. Heh, sorry

I was reading the sex offender thread in GD.

Yeah, I know...

Pervs vs. Big John Sex... NOT a difficult decision.

[Vektor]

5. Ewwww. Ick.

There's a sex offender thread? Is it about us and our late night talks?

[WildEyedLiberal]

7. ROFLMAO

No... LOL... what we describe is (mostly) legal.

And Big John is definitely not a minor.

I found out that one of my former classmates is a sex predator, though... neat, huh?

[Vektor]

9. Two of my best friends

just found out the same thing about one of their classmates too. This makes the third one.

[WildEyedLiberal]

12. It freaked me the hell out

It says he committed aggravated abuse of a 13-16 year old.

He's almost 22. And INBRED as the day is long.

The horrible thing is, my first thought was, "I wonder if it was his sister."

:puke:

[Vektor]

17. I use this exact phrase..

word for word, ALL THE TIME:
"INBRED as the day is long".

That is really amazing that you said that!

[WildEyedLiberal]

21. Seriously? OMG

I don't believe I've ever said it before. I'm definitely going to start, though... OMG, cosmic twins.

[Vektor]

29. We may be...

I totally love to use that term to refer to some of the Repukes in my town.

[WildEyedLiberal]

4. LMAO

YOU SKIPPED "IV"

[Vektor]

6. OH SHIT.

I guess I did. It's fixed.

[WildEyedLiberal]

8. I GOT 1000 POSTS!

AND YOOOOU DOOOOON'T!

NAH NAH NAH NAH BOO BOO!

I'm sure this thread will remedy that. :9

I estimate that at least 350 of my 1000+ posts are kink.

[Vektor]

10. I'm almost there!

Yippeeeeeeeeee!

[WildEyedLiberal]

11. Well, let's get started then!

Hmm, I'm so bad at starting the kink.

Although I've had to get up several times from my computer tonight to go pee. No, seriously, I have.

[Vektor]

13. Man alive,

I am probably going to disappoint severely. I am coming down with a little cold/sinus issue, and am all doped up on nighttime cold relief.

[WildEyedLiberal]

14. DAMNIT, YOU, I SAID PEE!

As in,

"PEE"

Well, and regular pee, too, because I had six glasses of tea tonight.

[angrydemocrat]

15. More Pics Oh Boy!

The last one is the best in that round! Then the top one comes in a very close second! The others are tied for third. OK moving along!
NEEEXXXTTT!

[WildEyedLiberal]

16. The top one is HOT

And ask Vektor for pics... mine have been recycled so many times everyone has seen them probably like a dozen times.



There's one I still had in my right-click paste... ha.

INDIANA JOHN KERRY!

(cue theme music)

[angrydemocrat]

18. OK GIRLS

Where are the new pics LOL. How about some of him on his Harley you girls got any of those?

[Vektor]

20. Ladies, start your engines...

I'd like a ride on that big hog!

[WildEyedLiberal]

22. Yeah, and the Harley's cool too

Although, on further reflection, "hog" isn't the sort of male animal I want to refer to Big John as.

I prefer stallion. Buck (or stag).

Lay back, stallion, and get ready for the ride of your life!

[Vektor]

26. It was only one part...

that I was referring to as "the HOG."

[WildEyedLiberal]

30. Ah

Well, it is a pretty big machine.

[Vektor]

31. Massive.

Too much, really.
Ok, which would you rather have between your legs? The bike, or the man on the bike?

*Vektor ducks as a shoe is thrown at her head for asking such a dumbass question.*

[Vektor]

32. OMFG. I AM GOING TO REACH

1000 posts tonight!!! Someone get a hot Kerry sex pic ready to reward me for my milestone!

[WildEyedLiberal]

34. I have one in mind

Hee.

When I got my 1000th post, I finally felt like a big kid.

[Vektor]

37. I bet it's the pool one.

:-)

I am about to enter the big kid group. YAY!

[WildEyedLiberal]

39. ACTUALLY

It's not.

Oh BOY, Pluto! Now you'll be surprised!

That pool pic is Sex Personified, however.

[Vektor]

42. OH GOOD!

Fresh meat!

[WildEyedLiberal]

44. Oh, there's definitely some MEAT there

:evilgrin:

[Vektor]

46. OMG, I am so excited.

I'm getting close!

[WildEyedLiberal]

47. I will post it for you soon

Once you have 999.... so that your reply will be # 1000.

:party:

Damn, after all this, I hope it's not a letdown. I don't know if you've seen this one before or not.

[WildEyedLiberal]

33. Um

How about the man on the bike - while ON the bike. And going 70.

Kinky! Dangerous! Death wish!

[Vektor]

35. What a way to go.

You'd die smiling from ear to ear!

[WildEyedLiberal]

38. Cause of accident?

It is believe that the driver was DWC -

(Driving While Climaxing.)

[Vektor]

40. I will remember you both with great fondness.

this also reminds me of the very sobering moment when my best friend's 85-year-old grandmother told us that she wanted to be buried in the same casket as her husband "face down on top of him, with no panties on."

I have no idea why I was just reminded of this.

Must be the nighttime cold remedy.

[WildEyedLiberal]

41. Wow

I mean, hell... if John were mine, and we died at the same time like that, then sure, bury us in a carnal position. But I am pretty sure I would not exhume my dead husband (or vise versa, I hope) so my newly dead body could be laid upon his bones. Necrophilia = one of those things that is taboo for a GOOD reason.

Okay, no more dead talk. But speaking of bones...

[angrydemocrat]

23. Oh HELL YES!

That's what I'm talking about! I love seeing him on his Harley! It makes me want to hitch a ride Oh yeah!! :loveya:

[WildEyedLiberal]

28. I'd like a RIDE too!

:evilgrin:

[Vektor]

19. If you want mind bending fun...

look at the pics I posted tonight, and instead of reading the corresponding caption, read the one BELOW each picture as if it were the caption. The bottom one will not have one, but oh well.

Good times.

[WildEyedLiberal]

24. The naked twister one

worked out to the most hilarious effect.

[angrydemocrat]

25. LMAO

I'm sure it does Wild. You are so naughty LOL!

[WildEyedLiberal]

36. And just getting started

You really need to spend more time in the kink threads... they're good for you.

:evilgrin:

[Vektor]

27. Yes, it did...

Photobucket rules!

[Vektor]

43. DO YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR....

...something GROSS but totally funny?
and yes, it's pretty gross!

[WildEyedLiberal]

45. SILLY QUESTION

OF COURSE!

:evilgrin:

[Vektor]

49. Ok...I was recently browsing

in a Chinese herb shop with my husband, when we came across this lovely looking tea. It claimed to "relieve upset stomach and soothe digestive problems". As I am prone to queasiness, and tend to get upset stomachs when stressed, I bought some.

It's been sitting in the cabinet for a couple of weeks now, and since I am feeling a little sick right now, I decided to have a cup. I opened up one of the bags, and the tea was a rich, black color, and smelled sort of like Chamomile, but a little sharper. I brewed the tea, and upon drinking it, found it to be rather pleasant tasting...a little bit bland, but not bad at all.

Shortly after I finished the cup, I felt an strange, though not entirely unpleasant flutter in my bowel. Suddenly a sense of urgency overcame me, and I ran to the bathroom, and barely made it to the toilet seat before I began to SHIT MYSELF BLIND. Seriously - I shit a week's worth of payload. In fact, I shit out foods I haven't eaten yet! It seemed it would never end...I had no idea my bowel could CONTAIN that much, let alone pass it in one fell swoop. Suffice it to say, I did eventually finish, and upon inspection - yes I looked at it! I HAD to! I saw what could only be described as a coiled cobra, with its head peeking out of the water, ready to strike. The color of it was most intriguing - a rich burnt sienna if you will...

I tried to flush the savage beast, but the toilet would not accept it. The snake just did a strange little shimmying dance, but refused to go down the plumbing. So, I had no choice but to dismember it with the handle of the toilet brush...

(Which I washed, and THEN discarded in the large outdoor trash bin. It will be replaced.)

Later on, I went and read the box to see if there were any WARNINGS to the effect of: "Caution, drinker may pass four-foot shitsnake."

There wasn't. But the funny thing is, the tea is called "Pu-Erh"

Oh, yes, I "Pu-ed" alright, and "ERH" it was a BIG ONE.

I think the Chinese are playing a very dirty trick on me.

[WildEyedLiberal]

51. OMG....

You don't even know how hard I'm laughing right now. MY SIDES HURT.

Oh... God. They should call it "Enema in a Cup."

OMG...*die*

I think your flair with words has more to do with it than anything. Oh, Jesus... ROFLMAO.

[Vektor]

53. Oh..I didn't even

try to make it funny or well-written...plus I'm heavily medicated...I just typed it as fast as I could, lest the urge overtake me again.

I should spruce up the story a little and mail it to the "Atlantic Monthly."

[WildEyedLiberal]

54. BAH! You didn't use your 1000th post to respond to beefcake!

I'm so disappointed!

On edit: That site about that tea says it "helps digestion." I'LL SAY!

[Vektor]

57. Oh it helped alright!

(Sorry, I hadn't seen the beefcake yet....)
But I did respond accordingly!

[WildEyedLiberal]

48. WELL?

I'M WAITING!

[Vektor]

50. More on this lovely laxative:

http://coffeetea.about.com/library/weekly/aa070302puerh.htm
http://www.pu-erhtea.com/Pu-erhTea.htm
http://www.cookscorner.net/Tea/puerh.html

[WildEyedLiberal]

52. OKAY YOU HAVE 999 POSTS

SO......


HERE'S YOUR MEAT:




:9 Slurp it ALL up!

[Vektor]

55. Let me just say, at this magical time....

That I am proud to be a donor, proud to be a DUer, proud to have 1000 posts.......

and so very proud to gorge on that giant slab of man meat!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!

OH HAPPY DAY!

I feel like I should go smoke now, or something.

[WildEyedLiberal]

56. Hahaha

Congrats. :toast: :party:

We can share him, since we both got 1000 tonight.

There's certainly enough to go around! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT!

[Vektor]

58. It is truly a monument to behold.

How could anyone not want a slice of that?!?!

[WildEyedLiberal]

59. I don't know. It boggles the mind

how some people can not WANT HIM.

How 'bout this?



Now imagine that wet, naked body with THAT bulge...

Arrrg....!

[Vektor]

60. "it boggles the mind"

Also one of my regular catch phrases.

It's really weird, but you talk (type?) just like me...all the descriptive phrases I like to use...you use them often. SO ODD.

This has happened in prior posts, I just thought to mention it tonight, because when you said "inbred as the day is long" - well that just struck me as odd.

[WildEyedLiberal]

61. This is really cool yet bizarre

What else have I said that reminds you of, uh, you?

Cool and weird! I'm telling you, we must be cosmic twins. I didn't think ANYONE wanted Big John as much as I do.

[Vektor]

62. We definitely have the big Kerry sex in common...

I cannot remember off-hand which phrases you have used in the past (as I am feeling ill and on a lot of meds) but I just remember thinking "HAHAHA - I TOTALLY say that!!" I will have to look through...

On that note, though, sorry to disappoint, but I am fading fast...shall we continue perhaps tomorrow...

(When I start using ellipses in lieu of proper punctuation, there is not a lot of life left in me.)

[WildEyedLiberal]

63. OMG

I've been using ellipses all night and thinking, "WTF is wrong with me? Why am I not using commas, hyphens, semicolons?" ENGLISH NERD = ME. And we are so totally cosmic twins.

Yeah I'm tired too, plus I have to get up at 11 tomorrow. Shit fire. Congrats on 1000 posts, and have sweet Kerrysex dreams.

[Vektor]

64. I am also an English nerd...

SUCK at math, but write one hell of a story...

Goodnight, fellow Kerry luster!
Sweet dreams of the giant WMD...

[bunny planet]

65. Here's some........

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
I need a 'lust' smilie.