Wait you freaks actually like John Kerry

[JohnKleeb]

:D y'all must be DNC operatives :D even though some of you havent even graduated from college yet :D. love y'all.

[WildEyedLiberal]

1. I am so secret

Even my family doesn't know what I truly do.

My insidious psy ops have converted LEGIONS to the KERRY CULT! LEGIONS!!! Bow down NOW, peon, before I kidnap you and offer you up as the next cult sacrifice at the annual Skull and Bones reunion.

[JohnKleeb]

2. I am secretive too ya know

[Withywindle]

3. I'd be Kerry's virgin sacrifice...

...except I haven't been qualified for that job for a loooong time.


Seriously, I'm such a secret operative even *I* don't know it. There's a chip in my brain, though.

[WildEyedLiberal]

5. May I hereby volunteer?

Since you removed yourself from the running?

:evilgrin:

[Withywindle]

6. It's all yours....

...I'm just the wicked high priestess who offers up the skull full of blood.

[LittleClarkie]

4. I am NOT an operative!

I'm a sycophant. Get it right sonny.

John Kerry uses me as an ottoman whenever he's in town. I swear, the work of a servile flatterer is NEVER done.

[sandnsea]

7. LOL Oh who remembers lala?

Used to post at the Kerry blog and said we were all paid operatives. Ron went on and on about our laptops and limos, and everybody picked up on it and posted their own special rewards for "working" on the Kerry campaign. Your post reminded me of that. servile flatterer, hahahaha.

[angrydemocrat]

8. LOL I remember that.

LittleClarkie reminds me alot like txindy from the campaign blog was. Don't you agree? I miss him wonder where he is now. He was always so funny. When I first came here and met txindy that is at DU I thought it was him and and when I asked to be sure it I found out it wasn't LOL. Anyway txindy here at DU said he got asked that all the time. But they act like twins and how wild they would they would be so much in common and even the same username and never met each other. It flip me out.

[sandnsea]

10. Democracy Cell, isn't he?

I think I've seen him post there. A wild one, yes. I think some around here must be some of the "Naughty Girls". :)

[Withywindle]

9. An ottoman, huh?

Now that is some quality kink.

[ginnyinWI]

11. LOL

this post is the winner--best laugh of the morning for me--thanks!

[elshiva]

26. This is the kinkiest DU Group on the whole board.

Trust me no one saying they want to be Dean or Kucinich's ottoman or virgin sacrifice. If you want true Democratic Kink check out DU's JK Group.
Listen I have a crush on the man, but really he's a happily married man and I am happily married woman...
Thanks for the Kink!

[JohnKleeb]

27. well to be fair, Ive seen some mad lusting after Clark

hah but you got a point.

[elshiva]

28. DailyKos was at its kinkiest,

When it hailed Howard Dean as spongeworthy before his debate with Nader,
last summer, besides that low on kink.
I concur with their assessment, Good Ol' Doctor Spongeworthy!

[JohnKleeb]

29. I never saw that debate

hah sponge.

[elshiva]

31. I heard it on NPR last July,

Dean basically trashed Nader's More Liberal Than Thou candidacy and wholeheartedly endorsed Kerry.
What do you mean by "hah sponge?"

[JohnKleeb]

32. by hah sponge, I meant hah I was giggling

Nader is an ass, he's funded by republican money and he acts likes he is the most principled politican there is.

[elshiva]

33. Nader is awful,

If you want to attack someone for being more liberal than thou and fricking up the elections attack Nader, not Dean. Dean campaigned for Kerry vigilantly. But if it wasn't for Nader, Kerry would have taken NM and other states where the race was so close.

[JohnKleeb]

34. I know, when I attack liberal than thou people on the boards

I am attacking them indidvually and more often those people defend Nader, its such a shame because he used to be a good guy.

[elshiva]

35. Nader did some good things back in the day, but

he truly hurts the left for running for president esp. in 2000 and 2004.

[JohnKleeb]

36. Had no effect in '96

had a decisive effect four years ago. Its a shame because he did do some good things but now he's taking republican money, I dont get that guy honest.

[TayTay]

47. really, we are the ....

kinkiest group on DU? That is funny on so many levels. Dear gawd in heaven if only the media knew this last summer. Boring stiff guy? Not so much. There are women around who would dispute that assessment.

Hi Kleeb! We love you too! I have no idea what you make of us free-wheeling types here, but my lord are you going to be a sought-after young man if you learn the lessons herein. Honestly. You are a good sport!

[TheDonkey]

12. I thought this forum was for Skull & Bone members

so we could come up with elaborate conspiracies to install Republicans in office.

o~well.

[JohnKleeb]

13. haha I love y'all

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

14. I wanna hug the man!!!!!!

http://209.150.59.148:8080/dontphoto/young/image/image14.jpg

[elshiva]

30. I want to hug him, too

"I wish that I could just wrap you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you individually all across this nation." Remember he said this in his concession speech. There is a lot of love to go around.
Anyone else see and here the speech? JK started it by saying "I love you, thank you..." and while he was speaking a man called out, "We still love you." (Kerry smiled.) Another man: "We still got your back!" Kerry: "I still got yours!" Classic and heartbreaking...

[Firespirit]

15. Mmhm, we do

That means we're either operatives or pawns ya know.

Myself, I must 'fess up. I have insider information on this and it's been pressing on my conscience.

They who say this are all correct! The DNC and GOP are all one big Party. They are both in cahoots with those perpetrating fraud. Each election's outcome is predetermined at Party Headquarters in Area 51 and both candidates know it and accept it. That's why there is no reform and never will be; Kerry was part of the Plan. For now, the Plan is for the GOP to hold office. When the shadow leaders determine that it's time for a Democrat to win, then the fix will be in for that person. (Which will NEVER be Howard Dean! The Man hates him and will never let him win.) The DNC knows this and that's why it doesn't actually support reform. They are ALL part of one big MACHINE!!!

Hope this post doesn't get me banned... kinda inflammatory. But I figure, anyone who'd be offended by it is ASKING to be offended by browsing this particular board.

[WildEyedLiberal]

16. Hey, if that kind of thing got you banned

I should've been tombstoned LONG ago. Read my "IF DEAN DOESN'T GET DNC CHAIR I'M FORMING MY OWN PARTY" thread. Having fun at the lefty freepers' expense NEVER gets old :P

[TayTay]

17. I'm so liberally pure.....

that I recycle my own shaved leg hairs and use them to knit lovely sweaters for starving children in poor, underdeveloped but culturally uncontaminated countries. (Halo appears above my head.) It's not only uber-liberal, but it's environmentally sound and they come in lovely colors. (Don't ask.)

I suffer for you poor corrupted bastards who still believe in the Democratic Party. You wallow in a cesspool of decadence and decay. (Oh, jelly donuts, can I have one, please.)

I am so glad I gave up on membership in any political party that might actually have a chance to win. Losing is so much more noble.

[WildEyedLiberal]

18. I'm so liberally pure

I don't BELIEVE in political parties. I believe in a world in which all artificial barriers between people are stripped away, leaving all beings of earth free to live in perfect union and harmony.

Yet, I see the destruction that is wreaked now upon the world, and I weep. I know that, by virtue of my privileged birth into the bloated American empire, I am directly responsible for all suffering and anguish that occurs among the poor of the world. I can feel the hollow screams of the starving African children; I can feel the anguish of the orphaned Iraqi child. And I don't mean "feel" in a metaphorical sense, either. No, I LITERALLY FEEL THEIR PAIN because, in atonement for my guilt, I flog myself with a cat-o-nine tails every night, and hope that my screams of agony carry, like blessed Karma, to the ears of the dying children, so that they know that they do not weep alone.

I SUFFER THE PAIN OF AMERICA'S SINS!

[TayTay]

19. I'm so liberally pure....

That I sometimes protest myself. I find myself thinking about buying something at a regular store instead of at the Indigenous People's Farm, Fruit and Knikknak Shack. The audactity! The guilt! The shame! I then find that I have to set up a protest sign outside my house to berate the insensitive, unfeeling, capitalist pig bastard who lives inside. I hang a picture of myself attempting to smile on the sign and put it out on my lawn for the neighbors to see. Then I go inside and have a proper sulk over how difficult it is to achieve liberal perfection and ascend to the higher plane.

[JohnKleeb]

20. I am so liberally pure, I think myself is bushlite

[WildEyedLiberal]

21. I'm so liberally pure

I consider Gandhi and Martin Luther King to be shameless opportunists. They should've taken a page from my book if they really wanted to work for peace. Pfah! They did have the good grace to be MARTYRS, however, which is the only way for the liberally pure to die, so they are redeemed somewhat.

(This one wasn't as funny. Sorry. I shall flog myself now.)

[GRLMGC]

22. You guys are brilliant

How do you come up w/ that? It's genius. I love this forum!

On edit: I removed mofo since I don't want to offend anyone. I use it w/ my friends all the time but I know not all are happy to be called mofos even if it is not meant in a derogatory way.

[JohnKleeb]

23. ahh I know its done adoringly

I am so liberally pure, even Henry Wallace isnt good enough for me.

[TayTay]

24. I live in MA

and used to work in The People's Republic of Cambridge. Making fun of the Liberally Pure is an avocation around here among us regular folks. I have heard JK complain about the Liberally Pure (goo-gooeys) so, I think it's appropriate.

[WildEyedLiberal]

25. You can call me a mofo any old day

Just for future reference. :D

Thanks, BTW... making fun of lefty freeps is one of my many specialties.

[Withywindle]

37. True story, I swear...

Full disclosure: I went to Antioch College, one of the hairiest, leftiest, nakedest, most bongwater-drenched phreak "schools" in all Amerikkka. That will explain everything that is to follow.


So in '90 we went to New York City for a big Earth Day protest on Wall Street. (At Antioch, we took to protesting like big state schools to football. It's our biggest sport.) It's a very long trip. And I have a vivid memory of being asleep in the backseat of this beater car and waking up to a stopped car on the shoulder of the highway and much consternation around 3 AM somewhere outside of Cow's Ass, Pennsylvania.

Seemed the driver had noticed we were low on gas, but bypassed the Exxon because of their environmental rape, and the Shell because of their dealings with the evil dictatorship in Nigeria, and....well, I think you see where it's headed.

[WildEyedLiberal]

43. Okay, I think you're officially more liberally pure than me

:P

Hell, am I liberally pure about anything? Hmm...

I won't cross a picket line. Will. Not. Do. It.

My dad stood at a picket line at Caterpillar for 18 months. Labor rights are a BIG DEAL to me.

[Withywindle]

38. This would make an awesome trashy novel...

"Never...never will I submit to you and your corporate liberal agenda," cried young Virtua Thoreau, the maidenly pure leftist, child of a socialist commune who'd grown up knitting blankets for starving children and protesting sweatshops, as her voluptuous curves heaved in protest against the bonds of the American electoral system that held her tight in fetching capitalist captivity.

"Regardless," smirked the tall, silver-haired son of privilege, running a finger impudently down her tear-stained cheek. "I am the only candidate with a hope of freeing you and your country from the ravening fascists who violate it even now." He leaned in close, and his hot breath upon her slender neck gave her shivers of unwholesome longings for the wind in her face and a man to bend her over the railing on a decadent boating trip off Nantucket while the masses starved. She shut her eyes and tried to think of Marx, but instead she betrayed herself with flashes of Marcuse and "repressive tolerance" and even half-digested bits of Wilhelm Reich and "the mass psychology of fascism" born out of repressed orgasmic fire.

"It's true," said her captor in a low voice, pressing his body against hers. "I am indeed a Democrat, and a rogue, and an arm of The System. But perhaps you'd rather be thrown to the Republicans? I'm sure they could find a use for a woman of your...fertility. I am a good liberal feminist man. I've read 'The Handmaid's Tale.' I know what you fear. I will at least protect you as best I can."

"No!" Virtua moaned as she gave herself up to the caresses of the kinder face of the oppressor--who at least might save the last shreds left of the New Deal, who at least wasn't an out-and-out racist, who at least had heard of foreplay.

[WildEyedLiberal]

39. OKAY

I'm really torn between laughing hysterically and becoming tingly with longing.

Big John could be my DLC Skull and Bones "captor" any old day. :evilgrin:

[Withywindle]

40. Yeah, it kind of works on two levels, doesn't it?

I hear ya.


:9

[Withywindle]

41. double post

delete

[pamela]

42. Damn, now this scares me.

Your post didn't scare me but the fact that I was enjoying it so much did. I don't generally read those bodice ripper romances but I'd buy this one. You should change her first name though.

Hmmm...might I suggest... Pamela?

[Sydnie]

44. Ditto there Pamela

I don't usually read those kind of books either but damn ... that one could find it's way into my library very easily I think.

I now need a cold shower!

[TayTay]

46. BTW, welcome Pamela, Sydnie, Elshiva!

We are a bit crazed at the moment. I apologize if I have not previously welcomed you to our little section of DU. I sometimes get carried away with others things and forget my manners.

You are most welcome. Jump in and join the rest of us crazies. We do post endlessly in proper egghead fashion (We are true Democrats, after all) but we also like to have some fun. Have at it.

Edit: What else, speling erorrs.

[pamela]

49. Thanks, TayTay!

I feel welcome here. The rest of DU can be a cold place for a Kerry True Believer but this group is a sanctuary.

[TayTay]

45. Applause, applause

I hereby present you with the first LLL Writing Award for the "How the Hell are we Going to get through Inauguration Week" period. I did so unilaterally, in dishonorable memory of he who is to be crowned. We will need a speech.

Not only was this really hot, it was liberally pure to the fullest extent possible. (I would have had Virtua submit at the end, but come up with a favorite passage from Chomsky about how she was giving in under delusions sponsored by the evil RW Corporatist media. We are not corruptors, we are corruptees, until we wake up and seize our image making abilities back from our captors. A sub-minor point.) In the next installment, no doubt, Virtua realizes that she controls her own body and her own sexuality and does not submit. She conquers. I await this installment, with, ah, longing.

I doff my hat to you, woman! This was soft-core at iit's absolute best. Now, where did my husband get to, I rather feel the need to see him right about now.

Edit: Upon further review, I also congratulate you on your 'freeper-proof' writing. Any freeper attempting to read your story would be scratching it's dented head and going, I don't get it. But we do! :evilgrin:

[Withywindle]

48. Speech?

Wow, thank you, thank you all. I wasn't prepared to make a speech when I came here tonight! (crumples up paper, shoves it into pocket)


Well, I would like to thank the Muses, of course, particularly the collective gene pool of the great state of Massachusetts for producing such fine specimens. I would like to thank one Bill Clinton for reminding us there is little political debate that can't be improved with a hint of smut--I'm sorry, Mr. Last President With No Electile Dysfunction, I know it was HARD for you, but it's in no way your fault there are so few Republicans anyone wants to think about in any kind of sexual context.

As we know, as in all trashy romances, there is a happy ending. After reclaiming her ability to frame the debate in the people's own media (by learning to write her very own smut and post it on the Internet), Virtua at the end of the day settles down with her scandalously high-end mainstream-liberal paramour, happily ever after--where they will until the end of their days have a rousing, blood-rushing fight followed by wake-the-neighbors makeup sex every time he screws up and brings home some coffee that isn't fair-trade.

I'd also like to thank my parents, who would be mortified.

[vinessa4freedom]

50. I want an autographed copy of the novel

LMAO-brilliant.

[Firespirit]

51. Oh wow!

You're a satirist too, and a darned good one--much better than I.

I like it. Let me continue it, please (and everyone will see what I mean x().

...

As she lay near the sleeping Party member, Virtua's heretofore liberally pure mind was tormented with conflicting thoughts. She loathed him and herself too. What self-respecting prole would give in so easily, without even a fight?

And yet...! Who could doubt his sincerity? Virtua, like all of the liberally pure, had a sixth sense for those who used their base. She could tell by the way they spoke, and this one had not spoken in that way. Besides, there were other reasons to believe him sincere in that he would protect the proles. Virtua had never done it with a Republican, and she shuddered at the mere thought of it. It would be utterly impossible for her to EVER submit in such a case. She would slit her own wrists first. This had to be important.

But then she recalled the teachings of St. Ralph of Nader and grew disgusted again. The good man had told all the proles that there was no difference between the Democrats and Republicans, that the Outer and Inner Party were two sides to the same coin. The Inner Party did not oppress the Outer Party at all; they both oppressed the proles. That coin had to be melted down, not flipped. Virtua had always loved the metaphor of the melting coin. It had a dual meaning, the destruction of the capitalist society as well as the One Party.

[TayTay]

52. A group novel

no doubt to be continued on another server later on. (I love writing group novels. So much fun.)

Virtua turned over and heard her lover snore slightly. She was restive, partly fulfilled, partly unfulfilled and wanting more and partly consumed with thoughts of Andrea Dworkin, and whether or not she had just gotten kicked out of her womyn's group for good. Was it worth it? Had she submitted herself (well, submit only applied to the first time) to the oppressor model of conquest and allowed herself to be violated and invaded? Or should she reimagine the scenario and take charge of her own impulses and realize that her animal brain also had a place in the ordering of her life.

Perhaps a night with Gilligan and Sontag would give her some insights. In the mean time, her lover moved beside her and opened his eyes ever so slightly. Virtua bit her lower lip and felt unfamiliar stirrings in the nether regions of her soul (and other places that reside near the soul.) Hmm, perhaps she needed to do more research before she solidlfied her theories.

NEXT......