I sat on the couch with my own father when I was 8 and a half...

[ScreamingMeemie]

and watched this new Pope...to be called John Paul II give his first homily as leader of the Roman Catholic Church. As I watched, my father would remark about the Church, the papacy, his own conversion to marry my mother. I was so young, my only thoughts on the Catholic Church were these...Why did we have to go to 7:30 Mass instead of 10? That it was pretty cool that us Catholic kids in the Syracuse public school system got to get out of school two hours early and ride busses to Sacred Heart for CCD.

I remember, as a teenager, going to Toronto for a family vacation during the Pope's visit there in 1984. I remember the rejoicing in the church we attended that weekend. I still carried pretty much one thought about the church...that Mass was so darned early. The youth group I was involved in was more "fun" than spiritual, which I admit was what kept me going each Wednesday night.

When I was 19, a new mom with no husband, no marriage blessed in the eyes of God...the Deacon of our church-who I went to looking for the sacrament of baptism- told me that I had committed a sin worse than murder by bringing this innocent newborn into the world, then deigning to ask him to admit her into the Catholic Church. The parish priest overheard and, following the teachings of John Paul II (I believe) of a merciful God, chastised the deacon and set the date for my daughter's baptism. Soon after I left the Church for a decade. Not able to reconcile the hypocrisy of the situation...that somehow God would have smiled down on me if I had chosen to abort my child and then confess to it on Saturday.

The years went by with my Sunday mornings now free for sleep, but somehow I always found myself drawn to the television whenever news of the Pope was shown. I admired his strength, his dignity in the face of a decidedly undignified disease...his ability to reach out to youth. His refusal to sit on high above the common man and desire to be among them...touch hands bestowing blessings...cuddling babies.

When my daughter was ten, we placed her in a Catholic School. Mainly to get her away from a few girls who were "bad influences" on my easily led little girl. I found myself drawn into Church service for the first time in my life. Mass became something I looked forward to. Sharing Time, Talent and Treasure a joy, not so much a sacrifice. I felt I had come home and was able to put all those questions I had had aside for a little while.

Until the day our priest asked us to be judgmental. To vote against those not like us. Until the Catholic Church took up the realm of politics. That week, I left. Vowing to not go back until there was change. I stepped down from the parish council. Quit my commissions, and basically saw my daughter through her last few months of 8th grade. I never looked back...

...until this morning.

I sat on the couch with my son when he was 6 and a half...and I felt tears stream down my cheeks as I listened to chants of John Paul the Great and watched the people waving to their Pope as he was carried into the Basilica one last time. A piece of my childhood, a piece of who I am said goodbye.

As an American Catholic, I vow to work for change within the Faith. For us not to sit in judgment of our neighbor, but to pray for the mercy of God.

John Paul, you were a devoted servant. May you rest easy now.



:cry:

[DemBones DemBones]

1. Oh, my, how wrong that deacon was! And how natural that

you would turn away from the Church, even though the priest stepped in and corrected the deacon's error right away. The deacon had no right to sit in judgment of you! A priest might point out that sex outside of marriage is a sin (and so unusual, LOL!) and urge you to avoid it in future, but no one should condemn you for giving your child life. You deserve praise for that! :hug:

I hope that you are able to put behind you the wrong-headedness of the priests and bishops who urged us not to vote for a pro-choice candidate, just as you eventually put behind you the words of a foolish deacon about your daughter's birth. You are the age of my own daughter so I can say from the perspective of (cough) middle age that I know how hard it is when people disappoint us, particularly when they are people who are supposed to be part of the Church; dealing with such crap does not get easier just because you get older. I hope you will go back to Mass and not let the actions of some clergy who got involved in politics take the power of the Eucharist away from you.

Our archbishop in Atlanta, who retired in December, was one of the three who originally called for John Kerry and other Catholic politicians who vote pro-choice to be excommunicated for their votes. I understand where they're coming from and that bishops are supposed to teach the people, but I think it was very short-sighted of them to see that votes on all the life issues should be of equal importance. That means poverty as well as the death penalty, war, euthanasia, and abortion. What were they thinking?!

As it happened, Archbishop Donoghue subsequently wrote a letter to all the people of the archdiocese and very clearly spelled out that it was only a sin to vote for a pro-choice candidate if that was our only or main reason for voting for that person. He also talked about the obligation to consider all issues when voting. I don't know if he had a change of heart on his own, or whether he got the word from Cardinal Ratzinger's letter explaining this to American bishops. I'm pretty sure John Paul the Great was behind Ratzinger's letter, though!

There are good people in the Catholic Church, and a lot of spiritual power and strength -- don't deprive yourself and your children of the good and keep feeling pain just because there are some who are at best clueless. They may just be imperfect like the rest of us. Sometimes it's up to us to raise issues in our parishes. (We expect an awful lot if we think we can get a pastor who's good at everything but haven't you known parishioners who do?

I have been where you are (disillusioned and angry) and it always feels better to come home to the Church and the Eucharist. Always.

Sory this is long and rambling -- I stayed up to watch the funeral of John Paul the Great and my eyes keep trying toi close. Probably missed some typos, too, oh, well!

O8)

DB DB

[Maeve]

2. That deacon was an ass; ears, tail and bray

Too many of those find their way into what is supposed to be ministry....but you know that. The political priest, too.

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

3. That made me cry :)

Thank you :)

[Cuban_Liberal]

4. My heart breaks, reading your post.

That deacon was many things, but a Christian he was not,to my way of thinking. :grr: The same goes for the priest who involved himself in the election. I am struck yet again by how fortunate I have been in my life to belong to parishes headed by kind, merciful and loving priests, and to have been educated by sisters and brothers who truly loved children; how differently might I view my Church today, had my experiences been like yours?

All I can say, Laura, is that I'm sorry, and ask that you would forgive Her servants who have wronged you. I also disagree with the Church about some things, and will continue to work for change, but like you, I will not sit in judgment.

:hug::loveya:

[Padraig18]

5. Oh, darlin'...

:hug:

Those men were not men of God, to have said those terrible things to you. The Church I know and love is one that values love, mercy and compassion above all things. I did not agree with John Paul on every issue, but he was a good, kind, decent and just man who did right as he believed God had revealed right to him, and I mourn his passing.

:loveya:

[IronLionZion]

6. Oh MrsG that's so sad

That deacon was flat out wrong. Any Catholic priest on God's green Earth would baptize your baby. One of my relatives was told that same thing when she tried to baptize her baby because the father was not Catholic, but she just went to another "real" priest and he baptized the baby no problem.

And I have little tolerance for political priests that tell you who to vote for. I know there are plenty of liberal Dems at the local levels but they usually work towards social justice and don't tell you who to vote for. My priest back in my hometown might as well be a Republican the way he pontificates against Dems for killing unborn babies. I once argued with him privately about why he doesn't attack Republicans for killing people after they are born but he just said something like "all these politicians are sinners".

Whatever...the late holy father was very liberal when it came to war, death penalty, poverty, unions, capitalism...so don't worry about it. It's nice to have some good liberal Catholics who care about people.