Mental Health and Art... Your thoughts?

[hunter]

When I've been depressed, off my meds, unbearable to myself and others, I'l let my obsessions overwhelm me. These obsessions are not the kind of arts I'm talking about. Usually when I'm depressed I'll dive into computer programming, science research, and a few other activities I'm able to focus on to the exclusion of all else. Sometimes my obsession has been exercise, usually long distance running, but I don't run anymore because my knees are trashed and my meds work well and I can't ignore the pain as I've done while living in my own dark unmedicated world. Pain is no big deal when I'm depressed, in fact it's something real in a world that is empty to me.

But when I'm not depressed I often feel I have to make something, create something, anything, and writing just won't do. I can be in a perfectly fine mood, not dark or brooding, feeling quite sunny actually, but then I start to mess around with my photographs and the dark stuff just oozes out of me and I'm not sure whether it's therapeutic or not.

Fallout Shelter No. 9 by hunter

[uriel1972]

1. I find my poems burn within me

and sear my mind if I don't get them out. Once written they are tamed. On a side note ever since I've been properly medicated I don't have many poems forming in my mind anymore. This is a two-edged sword. I like the peace and quiet in my head, but miss the creativity. What to do?

[mopinko]

2. if you don't find it affirming, then maybe it isn't good.

i guess one of the things about photography that i kinda sorta don't get is that you don't really choose the image the way you do in painting. it comes from a different place, often a random opportunity. seems like it is easy to get dragged into a bad place.
maybe you should try something else? i think it is fine to go to a dark place, as long as you come out feeling like you have exerted some control over it. i feel like, after i finish a work, that i can put it away. i don't really, of course. but i feel like i have fought with it, and i have some control.

[EFerrari]

3. I can't write or paint and think about me at the same time.

Which is why both are such nice getaways when the depression isn't too bad. Thinking about me is fine but there's really no place for it when I'm making stuff. Don't know if that "flow" idea is right but painting or writing or doing any number of things that require a lot of focus is like a nice big fat vacation from myself.

It can have consequences like forgetting the time and not looking up until other stuff is late or undone or on fire, lol, but that's a small trade off.


I thought about this post for a long time before replying + there's a break in the ten foot depression, something I know because the GAD is flaring up all over the place. (Apparently, I'm no longer too depressed to be anxious as hell. lol) So, am in transition right now, with a doc's appt later this month. :hi:

[Forkboy]

4. I can go weeks at a time without doing anything creative.

And then in the span of a single week do a ton of pictures, write a little, dabble with video, etc. Almost all of my artwork has somewhat of a dark feel to it, and my drawing especially tends to be horror based more often than not. Trouble is, I can never tell if it's because of some darkness inside me or just a love of damn horror movies! :)

I know I've done some very dark things artistically, some that I'd never dream of posting here (or anywhere else), but for me I welcome whatever comes out of that creative process. What it is is what it is for me. I know who I am and what I believe, so if something really disturbing emerges I feel confident enough in myself to know that it doesn't really represent anything more than my fears or anger or confusion, and that this is almost certainly the best way for them to manifest themselves. I'm not taking those feelings and using them for destruction, just the opposite. I'm taking them and creating something from nothing, something that didn't exist until I did it. I love that feeling, and it's why I appreciate every art form, from music to art to theater and beyond, no matter how out there it gets.

And for the record, I find that picture you posted to be fantastic and thought provoking, every thing good art should be, imo.