How do you rid yourself of feelings of detachment?

[Wapsie B]

For as long as I can remember I've had this feeling of being on the outside looking in. I was there, wherever that happened to be, in the physical state but not present in other very important ways. This takes place on the job and in social situations; dating and in the even rarer occurrence of going somewhere like a party. I do my job very well. But there's never been this feeling of oneness, of me being where I truly belong, and haven't got the faintest notion of where to go from this point. I'd like to be more sociable. Living alone right now has its appeal to me as I have my own space and only my own space. But this feeling of being apart from the world, of just watching things go by is dragging me down.

I'm on Wellbutrin 300mg/qd for depression which has helped immensely. Even though I was married 20 years with two kids I see myself as having lived my life alone and I don't want to feel that way anymore.

[greenbird]

1. My daughter has suffered from this

since she was an adolescent. She says the feeling never goes away for her, and she's 30 now. I have been unable to find ANYTHING of substance about it, as far as causes or treatments. I've heard it referred to as depersonalization, but I can't find anything as far as studies, theories, etc. . . . I'll bookmark this thread and get back to you if I run across anything. Good luck. I know the feeling, because I used to get it when I was an adolescent. It went away for me, but not for my daughter.

[Forkboy]

2. Like the poster above, I have no answers.

But I sure know what you're feeling. The only difference is that I'm going to the other way and I'm actually thinking about being even less sociable, to any degree that's even possible still. But that feeling of detachment? I got that big time. I'm starting to make Dexter look a wellspring of empathy.

I hope you find something that helps. :hug:

[EFerrari]

3. Hi there, Wapsie B.

I've been thinking about your post and the best I can come up with is, what people describe as feelings of "detachment" can be different situations.

I think I used to feel that way in social situations such as the ones you describe. For me, it was a result of trauma as a kid and of never firming up my boundaries because the adults around me didn't have great ones. So, in addition to being a little depressed and anxious, some part of me just withdrew or shut down.

I had a long, long therapy with a talented woman and we literally rebuild me some boundaries. It was amazing in a way, but there came a day when I figured out what was me and what was everything else. That meant, I could chose how much I wanted to get involved with "everything else'. (And I was divorced with two kids when I started this therapy, btw.)

But, that was just my situation. I bet there are a number of others that are possible.

Sometimes when I feel detachment now, it's because I want to lay back or just need a break from engaging with people. Sometimes it's because I've become anxious or depressed and didn't notice. But I don't seem to have it randomly or as a matter of course any more. fwiw

[HereSince1628]

4. Sorry, I misunderstood what you wrote...

but my advice is still the same. Keep seeing a therapist.

[greenbird]

5. Your post got me looking into this again.

I'm finding a lot of information by googling "derealization". I don't see any answers as far as a cure, but there is a lot of interesting information.

[momto3]

6. I have felt this way my entire life.

Even with my husband and kids, I always feel like a bystander looking in, but not belonging. I thought it was just me.

I hope you feel better soon.