Any children of alcoholics here?

[elleng]

Would like to 'consult.'

Thanks

[mopinko]

1. oh, yeah.

100% irish, after all. (that's a joke)

[elleng]

2. No joke, mop!

;-(

Sorry.

Backatcha.

[mopinko]

3. sadly there is some truth to it.

not that i don't know decent hardworking irish. i do. but it does seem that most of the irish families i know do have at least one.
i know my dad felt it was almost his patriotic duty to drink.

[elleng]

4. More than a mere 'some truth,' I think.

Its genetic.

My 'stranged husb, adopted, is one. Adopted into english/german family, irish birth family.

He 'quit' before we married (26 years ago)when I told him I'd marry him ONLY IF he went into a program. He did. I paid for it.

Now, 25 year old daughter newly engaged. Husb has been pretty well 'under cover' with it, and not actually dry, but only recently daughters actually noted he has sounded drunk on occasion. Quite a shock and upset for them.

Reason I posted here is that she said, yesterday, fiance upset 'cause she hadn't told him 'dad' under the influence when she told him about engagement. So they argued. Fiance a great guy, and will surely understand emotional ins and outs. My reason for posting: Daughter said that she is 'the only person on earth who can possibly get dad into rehab, nobody understands that burden.'

Its really her emotional situation that I'm concerned about.

[mopinko]

5. oh man.

i hate that whole idea that someone can fix a drunk with love. once in a great while a drunk will fix themselves. that is the one and only way it ever works.
my mother spent so much of her life thinking SHE was a failure because he wouldn't quit drinking. i hate it, i hate it. when i see those sappy movies about this shit, i am unbearable for days.
tell her i said to just fucking knock it off. it ain't her burden. it will break her better than it is breaking him. christ......

[elleng]

6. Don't know that she feels she can 'fix' him with love.

Rather, she thinks she might persuade him to go into 'rehab.' I've told her about 'confrontations.' Been there, done that. I've explained to her that alcoholism is a disease, and that he drinks because he 'has' it, not due to any 'triggers.'

Will see how things go. If her fiance/husb handles it decently, at least she'll survive. She and her father don't live in same city, so issue won't be constant.

[EFerrari]

7. Where else would we be?

LOL

:hi: