my life has entered a whole new level of fucked up.

[undergroundpanther]

I went to my endocrinologist,and I found out I got third stage kidney disease.fuck.My doc thought I had high blood pressure,She sent me to a cardiologist,he said I didn't have high blood pressure.Well, I DID have it,and so,my kidneys are fucked.

I hate it when doctors give you this kind of nasty diagnosis,and say you gotta change this and that,and that's it.No support in HOW to change things beyond a website or pamphlet that makes it appear so simplistic, to change your entire life.Yet there is no help getting here or there,no practical help,like driving,helping in maintaining the fucking house,the bills,chores,or even simple emotional supports, when it all gets overwhelming. Because all same old loads of crap you have to do is still there, plus more shit,and there is more shit on top of that..Meanwhile I am to exercise like crazy,despite being so damn fatigued all that I want to o is lay down .This tiredness gets so bad that eating and cooking and cleaning up the mess from eating,is a major operation.Doing this six times a day is too much. It's too much that you just have to 'figure it all out' somehow,and find the will despite not having much energy to rouse it to fight old habits,find and overcome who knows what psychological barriers within,and work around the physical ones ,and do it all..alone.In the middle of nowhere in a soul killing suburban nightmare gives you no joy in living there.With roommates who are too busy or too sick themselves to offer you any solace or help.

[Odin2005]

1. That sucks!

:( :hug:

[Forkboy]

2. Sorry you don't really have anyone to lean on.

If I had more than one room I'd offer it to you. At least here there would be someone who cares...me.

What's the next step they're giving you? Are we talking transplant? I know nothing about kidney disease. You can have one of mine if need be, if you want it...I ain't using it much. ;)

Seriously though, if it comes to that, I got one to spare. No need to wait until I'm dead, let's start harvesting my organs now while they're still useful!!! :)