banned

[undergroundpanther]

Well, At the prp I go to,last week,good news is I was chosen to be vice pres of the consumer counsel,I was surprised. During the past two weeks or so,I have been doing a mural on a wall at the program .It is supposed to reflect what recovery means to ME.

I submitted the sketch of my idea and it was approved. I have been working on it, and it is shaping up nice I have already got compliments on it.

But I have run into a hitch. The narcissist in "charge" of this program is Andresky I try to have as little contact with as possible. She says she wants me to edit out the horns on myself and my panther image.The horns have a deep meaning to me.She says it looks 'evil'.She claims 'people' are scared of the painting.(never mind that I have to tolerate christian crap all the time there and it triggers me).. I asked her if I could educate these supposed people who can't candle a colorful cat with horns about my reasons for putting them there,and give them the bible based meaning of horns and remind them moses had horns after had encounter with god,etc.She refused. I told her I could work them into the hair or make them more subtle and she refused that too.


There is some bad history between andreski and I.
I confided in her once,about a real problem about spin that had me torn up,and she broke my confidentiality. I tried to talk to her about it clear the air and she denied what she did.Since than I have avoided her and I do not trust her or respect her at all after she did that shit.She hates that I do not respect her or recognize her"authority".And she knows why I don't.


This banning crap it looks to me like now she is looking for something to give her a reason kick me out of the program. I know the pattern of this and the personality type that does this kind of bullshit to me.

Why is it these entrenched "executives" who are for the most part disengaged with the clients, narcissistic and authoritarian to a fault ,eventually try to play bullshit power trip games with me? Projecting and counter-transferring on me?

She has "banned" me from the program until she sets up a team meeting.
Because of her, I had to miss the last installment of the trauma based care training series ,and I'll miss gay pride.This banning was totally uncalled for. Another thing is "team meetings" for me are a trigger,It is a set up to bully me or try to.I have letters from shrinks I used to go to telling staff at other programs to not do 'team' meetings with me. I will bring the letters with me. The power imbalances in these meetings are a set up, to me, the staff seem to use them to try to provoke or intimidate me, to me it feels like bullying,behind closed doors with no one to witness or be there to represent my side..Usually no one is on my side and everyone sucks the ass of the ass above them .It's a formal intimidation meeting. As a "client" I have no power really. Andresky told me I am"threatening".I asked her what was threatening about me,I asked her to tell me or show me what it is so I won't do it anymore.She was unable to tell me exactly what it is or what I do that is so threatening. I suspect it is her projection or issue or it's a lie and that, is why she won't tell or show me.

She claims other clients are "scared" of me,yet I am greeted by almost everyone there and wherever I sit,the table is packed.People like me there.Everyday I do a coffee call and a bunch of us go for a short walk to the deli.If I miss days,seems people get concerned.People there do not act as if they fear me. It's strange that someone who isolates in her office thinks people are scared of me.I think it's her projection,she has personality issues with me..I think that and the fact she is being scrutinized by someone more powerful than she is is what fuels her resentments and I get to be the "target".

I was instrumental in getting a corrupt staff member fired from Spin. Andresky broke my confidentiality .That enabled Tiphany to try to intimidate me at spin..She was repeating the concerns I told andreski word for word that I had said in confidence. I trusted andreski when I didn't know her well enough to know how toxic of a personality she had. Andresky apparently was 'grooming' Tiphany to be director of Spin.When Tiphany became"director"of Spin, andresky stopped running Spin and directed the prp only.. Tiphany was incompetent and a tyrant and she almost bankrupted Spin.So now the state is investigating this corruption with spin and possibly andresky at the prp...And Andresky might be implicated somehow or facing heat.I know andresky was in cahoots with the corruption going on at spin which included fraud and stealing the funds for spin from the state grant.

As for the prp she's directing..Complaints from clients about how the prp is run and the complaints from therapists to the state go on and on. Someone somewhere is bound to smell something rotten.People have been endangered at the program,people are pushed to sign for services not rendered and suicide risks are covered up at the residential part of the program. Andresky is trying to kick me out. I see the signs of her incompetence and bullying,staff turnover at the prp has been rapid. That's sure sign this "director"andresky is a bully to the staff under her,and she broke my trust and banned me. I thing more people than I are upset with her.

If she thinks she can intimidate me at a "team meeting" into silence,she's wrong. I know she will try to push my triggers to justify her bullshit claims.I think this banning shit and her fuss over my mural is because the people who license these sorts of programs and approve funding and grants will be coming around.If I am vice president of the peer council,they will want to talk to me. I know she is scared of what I may say about the prp,and her and the corrupt crap going on and she won't be able to control what I say to them, maybe? Maybe some of them are fundies and she's kissing ass hoping they'll overlook how fucked up she is?

The reason she had made up for banning me is flimsy and has no substance ,she must be desperate to shut me out.All I can say to her is,Fuck you Andresky,I will hand your own ass to you on a plate, I love to fix problems like you,you pathetic petty tyrant.



"Rule-Making/Structuring" Perspective (*)

* People using this perspective view life through the limits of rules and authority - needing to build a structure of rules and authority or breaking rules to test the limits of the authority or rules that have been created.
* Life is very simplistic and follows a rather rigid pattern for this perspective.
* At this perspective, following the rules is very important to the point of aggressively defending what is "right" in their view of the world.
* People at the Rule-making perspective want everyone to follow the same rules. They do not tolerate ambiguity or "free spirits" very well.
* Many government bureaucrats fall into this level. People at this perspective love making rules for everyone else to live by.
* This perspective can be compared to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as the Safety/Security Level.
* The motto of this perspective is "Do it my way or else!" (20% of the U.S. Population)
* Famous People: Queen Elizabeth II, Adolph Hitler, Stephen King, Jimmy Swaggart, Rush Limbaugh, Benito Mussolini, Colonel Kadafy (Libya)


http://www.itstime.com/game.htm#perspective