I have issues with my family (cross post from the lounge)

[Tobin S.]

But I'm sorting through it, and I think things are getting better.

I'm a long haul trucker now and I'm going to be gone for long periods of time. I think that distance has helped me put things in perspective and work through some difficult memories. One thing that has dogged me my entire life is my inability to speak up for myself or defend people that I care about. I think things are changing.

We all went out for one of my brother-in-laws' birthday party while I've been here in town. It was my mother and step-father, sister and brother-in-law and their child, and another one of my sisters.

My brother-in-law lost his job when things went shitty with the economy. A lot of people around here did. GM had an assembly plant here that shut down, and not only did the workers at that factory lose their jobs, but also those who were employed by all of the smaller satellite companies that supplied the parts for the assembly line. My brother-in-law, I'll call him James, worked at one of those companies.

James has been trying to get a job ever since then. As a part of his severance package he got training at a trade school for HVAC. He said that when he got to class it looked like everyone else had the same idea. He completed the training, but due to the tight job market has been unable to find a job. All of the HVAC companies want people with a lot of experience and they can afford to be picky in that regard due to the sheer amount of applications and few positions available. Fortunately, his wife, my sister, was able to pick up some hours where she works, and the unemployment benefits extensions have helped them a great deal.

I know James is trying hard and I have a lot of respect for him and my sister. He's a cool guy, too, and treats my sister right and is raising a little girl who is happy and healthy.

So, back to the dinner. It's James' birthday party; a time for celebration. During a lull in the conversation my mother told James that she heard of some big company around here that may be hiring soon. My other sister, not James' wife, said something to the effect of, "Why don't you just get a job in what you went to school for? I see companies hiring for that all the time and you're still drawing unemployment." The insinuation being that James was a lazy ass who didn't want to work.

James explained to her, patiently, why he couldn't get a job doing that. Then I chimed in, "The job market is really tight right now. A lot of people are having a hard time and Dayton was hit especially hard with job losses. Even in times of recession it's usually pretty easy for a trucker to get a job, but the way things are right now even some of them are having a tough time."

I also don't think that James appreciated such matters coming up in front of his daughter.

It might not seem like much to you guys, but it was a big step for me. I hope James is able to get things sorted out pretty soon. I know he's under a lot of pressure. I went over to his house to watch a game yesterday. When we parted he gave me a firm hand shake and said thanks.

[mopinko]

1. good job

i'm sure he appreciated it.