Stories from the Road: The Dark Side and Human Nature

[Tobin S.]

How many times have you heard of someone speak of human nature in a negative way? Almost every time I've heard someone say "It's human nature" it has been in a negative way. Like humans are beasts that if left to their own devices will lie, cheat, steal, and even kill to get their way. I'm going to speak of human nature in a different way and I'm going to speak from personal experience.

I used to be crazy as hell. From the time I was 20 until I was 30 I was on the edge of being in control and just totally losing it. I did a lot of bad shit in that time and I have two misdemeanor convictions to show for it. For one of them the initial charge was a felony, and I got away with a lot more than I was busted for all through that decade. My criminal record could be a lot longer and could include convictions for drugs and violence.

I refer to that period of my life as my lost decade. It still hurts me to think back on those times. When I was going through those experiences it was incredibly painful. So much so that I'm still feeling the aftershocks eight years later. I did not want to be a bad person when I was going through all of that. I wanted to love and be loved. I wanted to have a lot of friends and be normal. I really didn't want to hurt anyone, but I found myself doing it. I had a persecution complex and I was paranoid. As much of a danger as I was to other people, I was much more a danger to myself. I nearly killed myself.

*Big heavy sigh*

But I was insane. That was not my natural state of being. I am naturally a kind, compassionate, empathic, humble, and generous person. That was the way I was before I became sick and that is the way I've been since I was 30.

With rare exception, the people who I meet out here on the road are friendly people. I travel all over the country; red state blue state, whatever. They don't need a law to tell them to be that way. They are naturally good. I met a dock worker out in Tacoma, Washington who was one of the friendliest people I've ever met. He was unloading my truck and seemed to go out of his way to be friendly and quick about it. I'm here in Deer Lodge, Montana now and spent a little time socializing with some of the locals. We enjoyed each others company. There wasn't anyone there to tell us to be kind to each other. That's just the way we were.

I've seen the ugly side of people, both on this board and out in the world. That may be a part of who we are, but I don't think that it's a side of us that is expressed unless something is terribly wrong. And if it were true that humans were naturally bad, I think there would be a lot more blood shed in the world.

If you treat someone like an animal he or she might turn into one. But even people who were treated that way can come out on the other side with their humanity intact. I'm one of them.

You are good. ;)

[Joe Chi Minh]

1. I suspect your own goodness colours your view. Certainly, the world is full of

uncanonised saints; but it has its share of wrong'uns.

[Tobin S.]

2. I'm not saying that there aren't bad people in the world

and sometimes good people do bad things. I just think that we are inherently good, and the good heavily outweighs the bad. Monsters are made and not born, for the most part. If you bring up someone with compassion and respect, I think that many more times than not you will create a good person. And I am evidence that even if you bring up someone badly, he or she can still become a good person.

[postatomic]

3. You are lucky

They are rare, but I love going on road trips. You are lucky that you can see a tiny bit of this world that lives outside the insanity that so many are trapped in.

My only friends are the ones I meet on my road trips. An old guy wearing a head band and carrying a camera, I get approached quite often. One example; I met this wonderful woman in Kansas who told me how she just re-married and was having a difficult time selling her home. We talked for about an hour. In the end she got me in a building to take a few pics (I didn't ask, she wanted me to go in) that the public didn't have access to.

She became my friend. I don't know if she is blue or red. She was just a kind person who took the time to meet this old guy with a camera.

Sure, I've had 'bad' encounters but for the most part people are decent and friendly. In small rural towns a stranger is usually looked at with distrust. I feel lucky to have met so many good people.

You are lucky.