when life turns to blech

[mopinko]

just thought i would post this link, even tho it is not pertinent to this forum.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=301x797

more posts in there, but this is the big picture.

[murielm99]

1. It is pertinent to this forum.

This affects your mental health, and the mental health of many of us. Midlife crises are mental health crises.

You have a chronic illness, too. That makes a huge difference in your mental health. It can make it hard to be independent.

I am sorry that you will not be in Galena. I would have come to visit you. Galena is an easy trip for me. I'll bet you would have sold a lot of art there, too. Some of those little shops do very well. Maybe there will be another opportunity for you. I hope so.

[mopinko]

4. i did a weekend thing out there last weekend, and

i got my ass handed to me. again. if i were making coffee cups, i would have jingled all the way home. my work is very challenging, and most people want art that just affirms them. which is perhaps a measure of the mental health of folks visiting art fairs, i dunno.
i might have caught on eventually, as galena does love their oddballs. but i was also hoping to be working with other artists that were more 'acceptable', maybe in a studio/gallery type setting.

oh well. i am sort of anxious to have a job again. there was so much resentment on both sides around the issue of dependance. i have let my fears around that run me for a little too long.

[murielm99]

7. I understand about the dependence.

I am much too dependent right now. I hate it. Part of it is having no valid work and a chronic illness. I am not sick any more, but I am not well enough to work full time at a demanding job, either. I hate all this.

It is hard to be an artist and be independent. I understand and feel for you.

[mopinko]

10. we are wearing the same shoes, my friend.

i hate it, hate it, hate it. you can't really contain that. it burns indiscriminately.

[laylah]

2. ...

:hug: Been there...I'm so sorry.

Jenn

[DaveJ]

3. Oddly enough I've been there too

Even though I'm a guy, I was married to a woman who was wildly irresponsible, mentally abusive, lacking any depth, etc., that I normally see women complain about in their marriages. It's easy for me to wonder what you ever saw in the guy, when 'nice' guys like me were being passed up, but I'm sure people thought the same about me with her too. I'm not a trained therapist, obviously. I'm just barely sane enough to know that we are living in a crazy messed up world -- so many people are messed up. I did not pay attention to my ex's background, her history, etc., and just thought I could save her. After we got a divorce I made sure to find someone who came from a good family because, right or not, I've noticed most people emulate what their parents did. (If a guy had a womanizing dad, for instance, he'll probably also be a womanizer) My dad was the total opposite, would never cheat, and I'm the same way. So anyway, like I said, I'm not an expert just a guy rambling on about my own experiences. And also, we go out to Galena occasionally too.

[mopinko]

5. hard to say where nature ends and nurture takes over.

and we have had a lot of conversations in here about it. but either way, a partner with destructive parents is likely to have both bad nature and bad nurture. maybe i will get that through my thick head with husband #3.

[Tobin S.]

6. I'm sorry to hear about that, mopinko. I hope you can work it out.

I wish I had some good advice for you, but I'm inexperienced in the ways of relationships. So I'll just keep my mouth shut. :)

[murielm99]

8. Tobin, did you get a dog yet?

I stopped somewhere yesterday and saw a trucker get out of his truck with his dog. I thought about you.

[Tobin S.]

9. No, I've decided not to get one for now

Maybe some time in the future. I'm just not read to take care of one right now.

[mopinko]

11. you can borrow one of mine any time you want.

i got a little kid who loves to ride in my little truck. she would have a blast with you.

[EFerrari]

12. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

What is it, when I was growing up I thought these years would be pretty quiet ones. The ones before grandkids, the wrap up of a career or something.

I must have been reading all the wrong stuff. :(

[mopinko]

13. i thought it was going to be sweet, as well.

but really, it is the time to make sure you are ready for old age, and old age with someone who couldn't stand having you depend on them when you were raising his kids does not give you the warm fuzzies.