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I have not been doing much,the depression is bad,and since I got banned from the program and my therapist was so oblivious to real safety issues and not helping me,she just gave me new age crap for answers. So,I got another counselor.She is really concerned,she says in my county there are no really good trauma specialists. By gauging my symptoms she thinks I need to :#1 a therapist that knows what they are doing,#2.Get more intensive therapy at least 2 times a week,and something during the day.So She is suggesting I go inpatient. I told her I'd do it.. after I get some things done on the first.Most important is no matter how shitty I feel I got to vote.Secondly I gotta clean my snake's cage,Lastly I gotta prepare. I see her Tuesday coming up.My birthday is a bad trigger day,and I'm kinda scared about it.
Been so unmotivated,didn't make a costume this year. I am so tired yet I can't sleep until it is day. I haven't felt the desire to write much so I'm lurkin when I'm on here mostly.My roommates are concerned and they say I'm not like I was before all this shit happened.
It was a shocker for me concerning the differences between a therapist that knows what they are doing regarding trauma VS my old therapist who THINKS she knows what she's doing regarding trauma.
I hope I can get real help. I've needed help for decades. In all the time in therapy I realized with this counselor,I had the WRONG kind of help or incompatible or counselors/therapists/doctors that don't know how to help me.
What really sucks is I can't keep this therapist I like,if I want to have my medication management done by a psychiatrist. The few counseling centers out here that accept MA have an idiotic rule that says to get meds done by a psychiatrist,I have to see one of the centers therapists too.
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