I know it's just a teevee ad

[postatomic]

Not sure if I'm being over sensitive, but this Ad bothered me. Maybe because I think lots of people feel the way the "therapist" does in this ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoXMgEkV8M

[HereSince1628]

1. It's an attempt at humor exploiting gross insensitivity

My son was a radio personality on a rock station in Southern Illinois for many years, and he anchored a morning show that was supposed to include humor...and it aimed at people with adolescent sentiments and elementary school educations...so it was generally about laughing at people. He's now left that job because he's become one of the "old" (over 35) people his humor often used as targets.

I asked him what makes something funny? According to him, comedy often uses something we think we know and then has an instant where our understanding is suddenly turned on it's head in a manner that we also recognize, but which is ridiculously mismatched with one or more of our expectations. We relieve the cognitive dissonance of having been 'had' by laughing.

The drill sergeant as psychological therapist uses just such a ploy. The room is a semiotic of a psychoanalyst's office. Warm tones, bookshelves with tashkies, the patient on the couch, the analyst in his chair, the prominent box of tissue, etc. The client is a stereotypical patient...a guy crying. The twist is the therapist confronts the patient (and many people do not know that there a several confrontation techniques used by mental health providers) in a bullying, rather than supportive manner, and calls the client a derogatory name while he dictates a simple solution. We get the associations on both sides of our understanding, we 'get' the tension caused by the misfit. Recognizing it's a farce we can laugh at the mismatch of outcome and expectation.

Unfortunately, the representations of the mentally disordered and psychological treatment in the media are the only things that about 80% of the population know about these topics. And the media (and I include DU postings in that) usually misrepresents them often using hyperbolized/exaggerated representations. Over time these many fictional representations, whether intended to be comic or serious, become the schematic framework by which society thinks about mental disorders and psychological treatment. We end up making facile associations and snap judgments based on fiction. On that same bad conception, employers, insurance companies, government officials and lawmakers make decisions about access to care and the limits of treatment for you and me.

Worse, many mental disorders, such as my borderline personality, make us exquisitely tuned into the reactions of those around us. To avoid the stigmatization, we will deny our circumstance and avoid treatment for fear of the labels, stigmatization and very real domestic and social consequences of being labelled in a marginalized and sterotyped category. In the end, we can postpone getting help until our lives and our relationship to our 'world' gets worse, possibly very much worse.

[postatomic]

3. I have a good sense of humor

At least, I think I do.

This particular attempt at humor just hits home fairly hard. I've lost "friends" that I told about my condition so I've learned to keep it inside and hide it. There are those that just don't know how to deal with someone like me and there are those that took the approach that I need to "just get over it, move on".

I'm not a different person because I have a mental illness. I guess if I had a broken leg then people could actually see the damage and know the pain I feel.

This ad just contributes to the already huge divide between the "normal" people and those of us that have mental illness and feel real pain. The guy crying is another societal taboo. "Men don't cry". The suicide rate of men my age is growing and I believe the main triggers are being exploited in this ad with a very poor attempt at humor.

I really appreciate your response. You addressed this in words better than I could.

Thank you

[HereSince1628]

5. It's a fail in my home, too.

Comedic theory/formula doesn't really take into account that people are variously sensitive. We can choose our shows to avoid things that stress us (Kardashians, and the various 'Housewives' with all the interpersonal conflict are painful for me) but we cannot choose our advertisements. No one but the adverstisers get to choose and this time, they chose very poorly.

[elleng]

2. Awful. Angers me each time I see it.

Otherwise like Geico's ads.

[postatomic]

4. Thank you

It's nice to know that I'm not alone on this. I thought maybe I just didn't "get" the humor or I was being over sensitive.

[bobbolink]

6. We are constantly told we are "too sensitive", because to show our disapproval makes others

"uncomfortable". Too bad for them.

Many years ago, I had the good fortune to find a book called "Sensitivity: The Agony And The Ecstasy", and the author (a shrink) repeated a number of times in the book "When someone says your are "too sensitive", you know you are dealing with an insensitive person." !!

Other societies treat their sensitive people with reverence, so please keep that in mind, too.

May I suggest another book to you?

The Highly Sensitive Person says that 15-20% of people in this society are sensitive. It also correlates to the Myers-Briggs finding. We sensitives are people of worth, and need to start seeing ourselves in that light.

:yourock:

[postatomic]

7. Thank you. I've never looked at it that way

For years I was always "The Rock". I was the person that everyone called with their problems. I told the few people that mentioned this to me that the rock was broken.

As a male we are all suppose to be rocks. Never shed a tear. Always be strong.

I appreciate the book recommendations. Will check them out. Wish I could give you a real hug but I guess this smilie thing is all I have.

:hug:

[bobbolink]

8. You aren't "broken", any more than anyone else is. As a matter of fact, from what I see of your

postings, you are more "unbroken" than most!

This is a very harshh society, and those of us who are in tune with the softer side are made to feel flawed.

We most decidedly are NOT.

There is so much more to say about this... feel free to PM me.

:yourock: :hug: