Are there good residential care facilities for teenagers

[Wapsie B]

where you don't have to go through the legal system to have access?
My daughter is needing this but we've got to go through the DHS and juvenile courts to get a judge declare her needing to go to such a facility so the state pays for it. If I were to pay for it myself, which I can't it would be over $100 a day even in Iowa.
How does Boys Town operate? I almost thought of checking Canadian facilities.

[bling bling]

1. Based on my experience,

I worked in a private residential facility and with staff who had worked in various types of residential homes for children and teen-agers.

The staff are low-paid, very low-paid, which means you get two types of employees: 1) awesome people who live like paupers (or who are married and don't really need to rely on their paultry income) who do what they do because they love it

and

2) staff that slack-off and don't give a shit about the kids, much less trying to do anything to be a mentor to the child.

The kids were often attention-starved and many of them came from very rough backgrounds. Some of the things I saw on a daily basis were the kids bullying each other or intentionally doing things that got them in trouble because negative attention was better than no attention. Unfortunately, most of the attention actually is directed towards those types of kids and the kids who aren't causing trouble don't get as much attention.

If you really think it's in the best interest of your daughter to be in a residential facility I would recommend you meet the staff (not just the social-workers, the administrators, etc - but the staff who will be the people who spend most of the time with your child) and find out what their experience is and also find out what the ratio of staff to child is like there.

Sadly, residential treatment facilities are a "system" and I can't even begin to tell you about all the cracks there are in the system. I wish I could be more positive about it. In my opinion it really is a last resort -- and I'm not saying that it isn't for you and your daughter. Just saying.

[Wapsie B]

3. Thanks for your input.

Well we really are at the last resort stage. Counseling's not working. Meds help but the pressure cooker is still on. I just don't know what else to do to help her.

[bling bling]

2. I just read a post from you in another thread.

I was wondering if the topic of Borderline Personality Disorder has ever come up in terms of either being diagnosed or eliminated as a diagnosis. As soon as you said she was cutting, I wondered if BPD had ever been considered? Here's a little bit I cut and pasted from a BPD website:

"While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5 These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike)."

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bpd.cfm

[Wapsie B]

4. They think she's got NLD.

Non-Verbal Learning Disorder. It takes her a long time to comprehend and process information. She's going to be tested for this to make sure it is indeed what she has.

[bling bling]

5. Have you seen this website?

It's specifically for information about NLD and it looks like they even have a chat room and forum for people to talk to each other about it. I didn't register for it but I'm thinking there might be some good support and information for you there.

I feel for you, I really do. I put my parents through hell when I was a teen-ager. Sometimes I think it's a miracle I'm even alive.

Here's that website:

http://www.nldontheweb.org/NLD_forum.htm

[Wapsie B]

6. Thank you!

[mdmc]

7. You can access Residential through your health insurance

A teen can be placed at a Residential facility basically three ways:
1. Privately by the parent
2. Through the gov due to abandonment, neglect or abuse.
3. Through the gov due to juvenile delinquent behaviors.

There is a fourth way, which is similar to "neglect". A school district can place a child through the courts if it can be proven that the childs needs can only be met at a residential facility.