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Edited on Wed Aug-24-05 02:12 PM by Liberalynn
Hi all I am a newbie to this Forum,
I have been around DU awhile but am new to this forum.
I have been suffering from Depression/Anxiety/OCD for over ten years now. Part of the problem is chemical, part of it is from attending an excessively centered on corporal punnishment Catholic school when I was an adolescent, and then later in life meeting up with a particulary nasty boss, who made me feel like I was back in Catholic school, part of it was home environment, and part is me and how I react or fail to react. I am on medication and go to see a therapist once a week and am making progress but often times it is still a struggle.
Like today. I am feeling a bit physically down do to a infection and had a therapist's appointment today. I got crying again which I have been trying to control better, not because I feel crying is wrong, just that I find myself still doing it way too much, but I think I made her feel bad and I wasn't trying to.
She wants me to face my fears but today I admitted I was getting really stressed out and feeling guilty and ashamed because I couldn't face one in particular, and she apologized for maybe trying to nudge me along faster than I was ready to. I don't feel she did that, I'm just angry at myself for not being able to let the past and my fears go so I can move on in my life. I'm stuck and in a lot of ways I don't want to be stuck, but then again being stuck feels safer. If that makes any sense.
Anyway I feel really drained and weepy and I hate those days when therapy is so draining emotionally.
Well that's me anyway and I just wanted to say Hi.
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