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Is taking me seriously. For the first time he is actually listening and not blowing off everything that happens to me(as in psi or strange consciousness phenomena) as psychotic or just dissociation symptoms.. All my therapists previous always tried to change my mind about something in me I know damn well is true and real and to make me feel something I do not feel.
First of all I never felt at home on this planet,I can't stand human society for too long.It's just sick.Human cultures are abusive, stupid,shallow and totally repulsive for the most part to me. I do not enjoy things other people do,for long and frankly I cannot wait until this shit(existence) ends.Either the world goes or I go or both.
I just don't like being here.
I feel reality itself is a war of subtle essences and these essences will not resolve until one is destroyed. For one kind of reality is a parasitic one feeding on the other,these two realities overlapping, are like two films or membranes that look similar but are not the same thing at all. It creates a stereo effect that we see as"real" I find these realities cannot "get along" or'balance'so to speak .I feel eventually the world will destroy itself from the stress of this it's just a matter of time.We could conserve everything we got and still the world would decay because everything pretty much in this reality is effected by time change and entropy because these two realities are so opposite.. Maybe after this reality bubble pops a everything in it will go back to it's own "sources" respectively and reality will once again be able to cope with itself with the offending elements gone..out.
I am an alien feline like spirit that has been kidnapped here. That is what I am.I am in a human body but what animates this body is not at home here or from here.I know it sounds weird even delusional and maybe very uncomfortable for others to comprehend.. But that is my spiritual understanding of myself.When I try to pretend I am from here and go along with the world it hurts me.
Well here is what my therapist says ..he is going to set me up with tests to test my perception and other stuff.To understand why I perceive as I do is it natural or not if so which is which? He says my creativity is very active..and I have been told my unconscious functions very close to my conscious.Why I have no clue.
Whatever happens.. It's going to be interesting.
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