Has this group ever had a discussion about hospitalization?

[bertha katzenengel]

I have been hospitalized for depression.

Is there any interest in such a discussion? I felt a lot of trauma because of the experience -- not just going through it, but the very fact of being in a mental hospital was terrifying and I felt a deep self-imposed stigma. It took many years to realize it was the best thing I'd ever done for myself.

Anyone interested in discussing this? Or am I the only one?

[DemExpat]

1. Yes, I have seen threads once in awhile on this.

Feel free to share your experiences and others might add theirs.

:hi:

DemEx

[Rising Phoenix]

2. never been hospitalized...

though there are times I should have been...that stigma is a bitch...isn't it? Good for you... I"m glad it helped you out.

[mrgorth]

3. How did it help you?

There are times I want to go to the ER because of how bad I feel.

[shrike]

4. I tried that only once

The ER. Staff didn't know what to do with me. They acted like I was a carrier of the Ebola Virus; wouldn't come near me.

If you are under a doctor's care, the far better thing to do would be to contact him/her (through the answering service if necessary) and let him/her know you're in a bad place.

[bertha katzenengel]

9. I was quickly disintegrating, and it was a safe place to go ahead

and break down altogether.

It was a safe place for a lot of things.

I don't know anything about going to the ER for symptoms like those. I rather agree w/ the advice downthread - consult w/ your doctor and go inpatient that way.

Good luck. :hug:

[Nikia]

5. I considered going for inpatient treatment for my eating disorder

When I first contacted the program though, they didn't think that I was bad enough for inpatient treatment. They said that I could go to residential treatment, which my insurance didn't cover, or partial hospitalization which my insurance covered only part of and was less practical because I live a couple hours away from the treatment center.
A couple months later, my doctor contacted them and told them that she thought that I could benefit from inpatient treatment. At that point though, I became afraid of going into inpatient treatment. I had thought about all the possible drawbacks to it and decided not to go.
I am doing better with my recovery now. I am eating better, quit losing weight, quit some of my associated behaviors, and have gained a little bit although slowly. At this point, I feel that others need inpatient treatment more than I do and that I am better off dealing with my life.
The facilitator of my support group did inform me that there is a general intense day treatment program at one of the local hospitals that might benefit me in dealing with the mental aspects of the disease, which are still with me, as well as my anxiety disorders. For some reason, I hesitate to even ask my doctor about it.

[Ladyhawk]

6. Well, I have been hospitalized and there was nothing good about

the experience. The in-patient psychiatrist is a fundy. I've been there a handful of times. While there, I just shut off my mind and go someplace else. Those people don't care. All they do is throw food and pills at you and tell you it's your own goddamn fault for being there (fundy logic).

The religiously insane should not be in charge of the loony bin.

[undergroundpanther]

7. Ive been in the bins for like 15 years

Re-traumatized the fuck outta me too. There were 2 hospitalizations that helped me kinda. The rest The staff had issues that clashed with me.I have problems when staff has Control freak issues.
I would not recommend going to the hospital ANY hospital unless you absolutely got to go for real safety reasons,or a med adjustment and go voluntarily..and have a trusted doc defend you and your rights to be you.
I was in a quiet room for 18 months.I was given alot of nasty drugs with nasty side effects.I have been force stripped by male staff,humiliated,felt up in restraints(bit the dudes hand too) Attempted rape,fights, got my stuff stolen, I have been restrained for simply cussing when I stubbed my toe,sheet packed for not getting off the phone fast enough(my father was dying of cancer and I went over the ten minute limit oooh my bad) I have been forced to NOT practice my religion,whilst being forced to tolerate a christian roommate to have their triggering cross on the wall across from my bed..My trauma history was too often just ignored.I have had a doctor try to get me to lie about my own past for some political agenda and then treat me like crap when I refused to play along,I have been misdiagnosed out the wa zoo,ignored,discharged while suicidal,And my mind was fucked with with "behavior mod" and other silly control games.I have been given torture drugs (anectine relative to curare)They could not handle the fact I am transgender,(sent me to a sexual reeducation class that was just awful)and well they couldn't face the fact I was smarter than they were, different and creative and not one to be intimidated by ANY authoritarians or "lawgivers".I helped organize a unit riot because staff had a control issues because one of the patients made vinegar in his room(I told him he could not make wine with the juice cup but he tried anyway and staff took out the rage on the whole unit by locking us all down) and the locckdown was preventing some seniors from graduating high school,and there was no sane reason why they should be forced to repeat a whole year because one patient made vinegar!! That is a story in of itself.

It was basically 15 years of bullshit that did not help me really.

The therapist I have now understands the hospital would be very bad for my mental health.He said he'd want to supervise my care closely to keep the staff in line. My fist hospitalization my therapist was cool I loved the guy, he kept authoritarians away from me and the stay went well..After that all downhill.

[Mad_Dem_X]

11. Oh, my God...

I am sorry you had to experience all of that! :hug:

[TrogL]

8. been there, done that

They didn't really treat the depression per se, more like made sure I got some sleep and fed me and kept me away from my obsessions (eg. DU).

[Mad_Dem_X]

10. I've been hospitalized twice

for depression and anxiety. The first time, I was 19, in college, not knowing who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. I was crying all the time, skipping classes, staying in bed as long as possible. My mom finally took me to a psychiatrist and I was put in a hospital for a week and a day (that's how I will always remember it, "a week and a day"). I talked to doctors, but wasn't put on any meds. I guess because I couldn't really explain what was wrong with me. I wish I had been able to; it would have saved me a lot of trouble later...

The second time, I was 33. I had a breakdown and quit my job, I had a urinary tract infection and was obssessing over it. My husband and my sister made the brave decision to take me to a psychiatric facility. There I FINALLY got the treatment (meds, therapy) that I so desperately needed. It's been almost 6 years, and I feel 1000% better. I am still on meds (Paxil), but my doc has promised to start lowering my dosage this May. I have a great new job, my husband is/has been so incredibly supportive, as has my family.

I still get depressed some times, and have the odd panic attack, but I'm so much better than I was. Sorry to go on and on, but I just wanted to share my experience. :)

[DuaneBidoux]

16. Thanks for your great story. It gives me hope that I need very badly now.

[Lorien]

12. Hospitalized for depression and attempted suicide years ago

all I remember about it was that I was A.) treated like a criminal, B.) drugged constantly and C.) was admitted at the same time my college president was (for the same problems), which was weird-but when I went back to college, I was able to pick up where I left off without any problems from the administrators.

The only thing beneficial about it was that it was so traumatic that I would never admit to friends or relatives that I was still depressed for fear of being sent back there. Hospitalization only turns you into a good actor, imho.

[varkam]

13. I attempted suicide

when I was in the 6th grade and was hospitalized at an in-patient psychiatric facility for approximately one month. Mirroring your own reflections, it took me a while but I eventually realized that it had a tremendous positive impact on me - which is an odd thing to say since my experiences there were less than pleasant.

I had the opportunity to meet a lot of people I know that I would've not met otherwise. The young man who was my roommate had been in and out of facilities for most of his life, and he had no idea why. I remember that he related to me that he felt his parents just didn't want him. I couldn't see anything wrong with him from where I was standing, but then again I was just in the 6th grade.

There was a phone list that we had to sign up for in order to call home. One of the other people there had signed up for the next day in advance, and I asked her if he could do that. She said no and erased his name and put my name up there - I was happy because I thought I'd be the first in line to talk to my parents the next day, however the young man who saw that my name was in place of his assumed I erased his name. He shoved me to the ground and started hitting me (he was maybe four years older than I was at the time and much bigger).

For that fight, we were both sent to "quiet areas" for 24h. These were, to the best of my recollection, small, cold, bare concrete rooms with a thin mattress in the center of the room, a mirror in the upper corner of the ceiling (so staff could see against the wall where the door was), a heavy steel door that was painted blue, and a white plastic bucket in the corner to relieve myself in. All I can really remember of my time in there was that I was cold and angry.

Other people that I met in there were severely suicidal, had thoughts of burning down their home, obsessions with hurting other people, or were there because they had become, like my roommate, forgotten by loved ones.

I realized while I was laying awake in my room one night that my life wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other lives which mine had briefly intersected. My parents loved me. I didn't want to hurt anyone or burn anything. I was determined to leave the place I was in.

In retrospect, it was one of the best and worst experiences of my life. Bad because I don't think I had wanted to see at that time how bad things can get for some people. Good because it *did* show me how bad things can get for some people. I realized I wasn't so bad off.

[Rich Hunt]

14. I was hospitalized

...mainly for sleep deprivation. There was no other way to get me out of my busy life to get some rest. I hadn't slept for, like, five days.

It wasn't bad, but I didn't fit in with most of the people there, who had serious problems. I made a couple of friends there, including a woman who was withdrawing from pain killers.

[Random_Australian]

15. For me, the one thing I could never do was seek help, OR allow

others to know that I need it. The family wouldn't be able to take it.

So I've never been hospitalised, but for what it's worth, even the realisation that something is wrong with your head gives you a sort of self-stigma, bieng put in a hospital must be a powerful re-enforcement of that, therefore the self-stigma one would attach to oneself in suchlike institutions must be painful indeed.