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I went to see the psychologist that was supposed to test me for Asperger's and he said the test had to be filled out by someone who knows me well. That's a laugh. One of the problems with Asperger's is that NO ONE knows you well. :D Some of you know my online persona, but not all my IRL facets. My mother thinks she knows me, but she doesn't. My last two counselors have complained I'm too negative. Last week in voice class when I made a "black humor" joke, a fellow student remarked, "That's uncharacteristically 'dark' of you." Even my best IRL friend doesn't know all about me. I can't even casually invite him out to lunch or even call him on the phone (long story).
Last night I had a dream and remembered some of the really atypical things I did as a kid. How many girls did you know who wore coonskin caps and thought they were Davy Crockett? When I got into something, I got into it BIG. I got into raccoons, Star Wars, art, etc. and was positively consumed until I'd completely worn out the subject, but I had trouble in social situations. I had a few friends, but when they moved on, I had trouble making new friends.
Yeah, I think I did/do have Asperger's, but I've found ways around a lot of it and there's nothing that could be done for me now anyway. How fucked up is that?
Compared to the last two counselors I've seen, the psychologist who was supposed to test me seems to be an "it-getter" when it comes to my negative religious experiences. When I told him I'd been hospitalized, he asked if "anyone" had tried to pull that fundy crap on me in the hospital. Leading question, eh? I knew that he was referring to the in-patient psychiatrist, so I told him about my experience. He remarked that it was unethical for the psychiatrist to do what she did. Duh. But who's going to call these religious crazies on their shit when they're the ones who have all the power?
This psychiatrist never said she was a fundy. She didn't have to. I could tell by the way she blamed me for my problems. It's the "Christian" thing to do. Later I found out I was right. She and her surgeon husband are both bigtime fundies. He was the one who scheduled me for surgery without consulting me first. Nice couple, huh? She'll fuck with your head; he'll fuck with your spine. I won't let either of them ever touch me again.
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