Do any of you ever mentally beat yourself

[donheld]

The last couple of weeks have been really rough for me. I'm filled with self doubt, and continually tell myself how bad I am at my job. how they aught to throw me out, and that there is no hope my life. Any of you have any hints or tips on dealing with this. I'm taking Wellbutrin, Lexapro and Clonopin but still the last couple of weeks I've been driving myself crazy.

[mrgorth]

1. One thing

inside, many of us feel that we are frauds and are secretly scared of being "discovered". Me too. That alone should comfort you. Additionally, I would try and get some training in if you can. That should boost your confidence. I also recommend looking into mediation. Your work-life is not really what is important. Connect with yourself.

[donheld]

6. I always feel like I'm just about to be found out to be a fraud

No matter how hard I work or live, I still feel that way.

[hedgehog]

2. Maybe you should contact your therapist.

He or she needs to know what's going on, and possibly can guide you out of this.

[Random_Australian]

4. I'll second that. Cognitive restructuring is something any psychologist

or psychiatrist trains in.

[donheld]

5. I have an appointment Tuesday

Hopefully he can help.

[stepnw1f]

3. You Sound Like Me

I do this to myself, then I have remind myself, it's a temporary thing.. a cycle I need to endure. Then it goes away. Best thing for me, was playing tennis today and yesterday. Never played before... it was a blast and the negativity has diminished.

Hang in there.

[donheld]

7. Thank God (or whomever) it is only temporary

Sometimes I see it as a birthing process. A woman goes through great agony to give birth. I think sometimes we all go through these "labor pains" to bring us to a new plain of living.

[stepnw1f]

9. For Us There is Nothing Constant

That's why we tend to burn our candles by both ends. I know I get tired often and have to manage my lifestyle accordingly. Our brains are not creating the chemicals we need daily to function, so we must compinsate. Anyhow... it gets better...

I'll be around more often...:toast:

[NMMNG]

8. Sometimes

I'm Bipolar 2 and more often depressed than hypo-manic (as is typically the case with people who have bipolar disorder). When I get down I can fall into a pattern of automatic thoughts, where I tell myself things like, "that was so stupid, why did you say that?, you're such a klutz" and so on. Another trap me and other people with depression, anxiety and related disorders fall into is Cognitive Distortions. Common cognitive distortions include:

Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. You maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

Emotional reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

Should statements: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

Full list at: http://healthymind.com/s-distortions.html




It's helpful if you can begin to recognize these common mistakes in thinking as they're happening and then stop yourself as they occur. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm doing really bad at work", stop the thought immediately (a process known as "thought stopping"). Then purposely think of what you are doing well at work (e.g., you got a particular assignment done before the deadline or came up with a more efficient way to get a task done). You may find that you aren't really doing bad at work overall, but are merely noticing only the bad things rather than the good (#3, Mental Filter). It's not easy by any means, but it helps.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy can also be immensely helpful. You can learn the techniques from a book, such as The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. However CBT is rather structured so learning it from a therapist is often better for many people. Fortunately it is not a lengthy process like some other forms of therapy so the expense is less of a concern.

Best wishes, and if you have any questions let me know. I'm always glad to help if I can.

[stepnw1f]

10. Thank You for this Post

I find myself repeating negativity way too often.

[AlienGirl]

11. Pretty much constantly

I can't get over feeling like I have failed completely at everything I ever tried to accomplish...and I suppose, as I get older and the entropies of age set in, it will continue to get worse. I believe I have never performed up to expectations, but I don't know how to change and make myself do so.

One thing that helps is to recognize consciously that these thoughts are symptoms, they are not accurate reflections of reality. Interrupting them and thinking about something I've done recently that I enjoyed (not that I did well at, the point is to get my mind off of the "failure/success" continuum) can help. Unfortunately these are mental habits I've had since childhood, so it's going to be a lot of work to fix.

Tucker

[shrike]

12. Used to

I was undiagnosed ADD for years, with a co-morbid condition of depression. I beat myself up constantly for gaffes and problems that I thought were my fault. A greater understanding of myself -- plus some medication -- has mostly alleviated that habit.
I wish the same for you.

[Pharaoh]

13. Yes I do it all the time

I am a great believer in some of the spiritual literature of A course in Miracles and Eckhart Tolle, But lately I just tell myself "Nothing really Matters" and it helps, we all get too serious and caught up in ourselves, but really , if you "remember" and that is the key to remember to turn it all over to God, well, you will begin to understand what is important, and what does not really matter.

[kiraboo]

14. Constantly.

I became suicidally depressed in March, tried to do the deed a few weeks later. Got help and have been on antidepressants and sedatives since then. I keep trying to reduce the dosage but even with all of them I go through every day in a complete fog. I feel like somebody has died and the pain, mainly in my chest, is powerful and unrelenting. Because of this I have begun to drink and gain weight which for me compounds all the terrible feelings I have about myself.

I speak about this in broad terms in the Lounge, but I haven't shared there more than my general sense of loneliness. Here, I can tell you it's much closer to desperation. I spend half my day thinking about how to do it right this time, and half wondering WTF has happened to me. I have been so strong for most of my life and weathered bouts of depression before. This one is intense.

I hate myself. I did something foolish and will never stop paying for it in hurt. It can't be fixed and I am so ruined that I can't stop telling myself that I am a stupid, fucked up bitch who deserves to die.

Yes, I am seeing a therapist. It doesn't help beyond the day of therapy. So I drink, fuck around and wait to die. Can't sleep. Can't bear it very well any more as it's supposed to be getting better by now but isn't.

Hope to god my Lounge friends don't read this. They already think I'm screwed up. Thanks for listening. There is nobody to tell except the therapist, and it's his job to nod sagely, nothing more.