Childhood depression, depression heritability, and the next step

[AlienGirl]

I was first diagnosed with depression before kindergarten. Back then childhood depression was thought to be rare and linked to "Oedipal conflicts" (according to the therapy records I got from the psychiatrist). My exact diagnosis was "endogenous depression," meaning it wasn't caused by an external situation.

I have two kids of my own now, ages 10 and 8. Both are very bright, but the older one is neurologically more like me (has sensory integration problems, was not a self-calming baby, etc.) and now I have reason to believe he is having early symptoms of depression. This is one of my greatest fears; I have been laid low by this disorder and hoped my kids wouldn't be.

What do I do next? Obviously I need to find a counselor for him, but where do I look?

Tucker

[mopinko]

1. boy

i admit to a bias against talk therapy. but at the same time, it seems to me that a lot of pharmaceutical treatments are hit and miss with kids. i guess if it was me, i would find the best pediatric psychiatrist at the best research institution that i could find. i am spoiled. i live in a big, blue city, with many to choose from.
i can see the signs in hindsight that my daughter had a problem. i have no idea what i would have done differently if i had known. the neurochemistry of all this is just starting to come into focus. but to me, that is what most of this is about- neurotransmitters, all that. problems, talk, reality, not so much.
i do know that one thing has been proven in clinical trial on bp kids to help, both on it's own, and in conjunction with meds, and that is a good quality fish oil supplement. i am a real skeptic about "holistic" "alternative" whatever. but this is a pretty well understood, and common sense.
it's small, but it's something.

[AlienGirl]

2. In my experience talk is good for learning work-arounds

The hardware is where the problem is, but the software has been affected by running so long on broken circuitry.

At the very least, useful talk therapy (logotherapy, cognitive-behavioral, or some other reason-based therapy) can help provide a users' manual for the faulty hardware.

Tucker

[DemExpat]

4. I agree with your view on talk therapy here.

And maybe if we can intervene in the hardware malfunction before it gets into a well-worn path by first trying a few non-medical approaches, this might be just enough in many cases to get back to a healthy balance. The meds are there for back-up IMO.

DemEx

[mrgorth]

5. I agree with mopinko

I don't know how much good talk therapy would do for a child.

[DemExpat]

3. Oh, Tucker, I do know how this feels....

I have long term history also, but one that I turned around for the last 15 years by stopping the pharmaceutical approaches which never helped me much to getting support from dietary and the Complementary fields - good quality supplements like Multi-vitamins and B vitamins, magnesium and calcium, Omega oils, limited caffeine and especially food additives like MSG.....getting some daily exercise in the form of long walks in nature, calming herbs, that sort of thing.

I do have a positive experience of CAM.
Homeopathy through a medical doctor/Homeopath helped me within a year to lift my decades long depression and rid me of life-crippling panic attacks. I mention this because I feel that it did help me greatly, but want to stress that it wasn't from taking remedies from the health food store, but from hour long consulations and periods of taking different remedies following others. So it took some time to get my body and psyche in a more manageable, healthy balance. And a great therapeutic relationship as well. :-)

When my daughter started showing symptoms in her teens of my sensitivities, moods, and anxieties, I tried not to freak out - because I also feared this for my kids! - but first had her go to my holisitic general practitioner (medical and CAM doctor) who suggested the breathing exercises taught by a phobia/anxiety/depression "society" who on a lay basis tries to help people.

My foremost concern was not to have her be placed on pharmaceuticals initially without trying several other roads. With young kids the patterns you talk about above are not engrained yet, so hopefully more open to adjustment and handling by other means, - in many cases.

I also had my eye on cognitive therapy for her if the breathing techniques (and diet, supplements, Homeopathy) didn't help.
But the breathing focus and techniques (and lifestyle, diet, etc. changes) helped her tremendously, and she has been doing fine now for 4 years. She of course still has the propensity to get off balance, but now she feels reassured with her learned tools to handle them.

I have supported 2 girlfriends with their kids too in keeping them off drugs - at first - to try to find ways to help their imbalances - and in both cases the children are now, after several years, doing very well. This does show me that in many cases other approaches are very adequate for children showing problems. Even kids with parents with histories (and genetic propensities) of mental health illnesses/disorders.

I know that your kids do not live in Seattle - there I am sure there are many choices for help and support! First look around in your kids' hometown, certainly talk to their Dad and see where he stands on this, and together find some help for your son.

If there not much diversity in that city, get him to a good child therapist, but also try the food choices, supplements, additive avoidance, etc. ways too. All IMHO and in my experiences. The only reservation I have is that your son needs to be watched very carefully during this time to monitor for positive or negative changes, so you need to be able to trust his father for this IMO.

DemEx

[shrike]

8. Concerta has worked wonders for my niece

Tho she is ADD with no co-morbid conditions, such as depression or bipolar.

That said, everyone is different, and I respect every individual's right to choose or not to choose medication, either for themselves or their children. (I am ADD and was diagnosed late in life, and also now take Concerta. I also suffer from depression. Unfortunately, when I was growing up childhood depression was unheard of. Depressed kids were "bad," which is what I heard all the time.)

This is going to sound terrible, but I've always been glad I never had kids. Always feared passing on what I have to them.

And a note to parents on the board: I am not knocking your decision to have children. When I was at optimal child-bearing age (I could still have kids now, but the odds are against it; fertility goes down after forty, you know) there is no way I could have taken care of kids -- I could barely take care of myself at that age.

[DemExpat]

10. Yes, everybody must find their way for themselves, and their kids.

BTW - having my 2 kids was the best thing that life has given me - so for that it is also different for everybody.


My kids helped me to muster up strengths within myself that I didn't know I had, they brought lots of joy into my life, and also helped me to focus on others and not so much on myself when I was almost completely self-absorbed in a most unhealthy manner.

Each life and choices are very unique and very personal - no one road for all IMHO.

:hi:

DemEx

[hedgehog]

6. Here's my experience

I had a chronic low level depression since childhood that really "bloomed" about 18 years ago. Four of my children have developed depression/anxiety disorders, two in their teens, one at about 12 and one by age 8. They all went to the same psychiatrist and are on SSRIs. The background is depression on both sides of my family and my husband's grandmother.

Here are the results: They are all doing well and have been able to work on their goals. Academically, they were/are in the top 5% of their classes. What's really gratifying is seeing how they are able to function socially. I have cousins whose children with similar symptoms did not receive treatment and they are having problems.

We got the referral to the psychiatrist from our family doctor who took care of these kids since before they were born. I'm not qualified to tell you what therapy to seek out, but follow your instincts. If you think something is wrong, get help now.

[stepnw1f]

7. I Wish I Had Help When I Was a Kid

I really struggled socially. Depression would just overtake me, and then I'd get really edgey and sensitive to any criticism. When I felt fine, I could play with my friends, but when my depression got the better of me, I really struggled. Once I reached my teens, I selectively found the wrong crowd to hang out with and began to self-medicate.

You just acknowledging your kids' dilema will relieve them of a stigma I still carry with me. Depression and anxiety can really screw a kid up... I know. I'm that kid, just years older.

[shrike]

9. Don't I know it

Fortunately, I managed to avoid "self-medication." However, I spent years trying to "fix" what was in myself, believing rightly or wrongly that it was somehow a defect in my character.
We were both born at the wrong time, I guess.