Anxiety.....this is new to me

[OnionPatch]

I've always been a pretty happy-go-lucky, laid back type. I've been through a few bouts of minor depression but there always seemed to be some circumstantial causes. Now I find myself suffering from anxiety a lot lately. I HATE IT! I want to be my old self again. It doesn't help that I have a high suspicion of doctors. I'd say about 50% or more of doctors I've been to for various reasons throughout my life have not helped me at all and in fact have made things worse for me. I saw a marriage councelor years ago and he was no better. I'm hoping to get some thoughts or insight or even advice from someone who has been there or who has known people who suffer from anxiety.

The physical reasons that I may be having anxiety: I'm going through menopause now and wake several times a night from hot flashes. Soy was helping me some, but now it's not helping as much. I don't want to take synthetic hormones. If menopause is causing me anxiety, I might consider it, though. I have cut back on coffee to where I drink only one cup of 1/2 caf in the morning, but I'm working to cut it out entirely. I know I can use more exercise but I do get some from just the walking and yard work I do. Other than that, I'm in fairly good health.

There are more mental reasons than physical. Circumstancially, my marriage is fine, my job is ok and things are fine but there has been a little stress lately....First of all, I have aquired a fear of flying that I never had before. I've flown to Europe and Africa several times and around the US more times than I can count with no fears but suddenly I am terrified of flying! It makes no sense! We recently flew across the US and I had my doctor give me some Xanax. It helped some during the flight but all the days and weeks of worrying have taken a toll. On this trip I saw my mother who is 77. She's in good health but seeing her reminds me of her mortality and she means so much to me. She is one of my best friends. I'm sad that I don't get to see my family more. I have a 6-year-old daughter and it's sad that she cannot be closer to her family. Then there is of course the general state of the world and you all know what I mean about that. It's been hot as hell here and I find myself fearful of global warming. Sometimes lately, looking around the world, I am running low on faith in God/Spirit. Yikes, I mean there's plenty to worry about in this world but I never found myself so anxious before! I've been taking Kava Kava, laying off any "extracurricular" activities that involve using a lighter if you know what I mean.

What the hell is wrong with me? My doctor sucks and I'm on a PPO so my options are limited. I don't know where to turn.

[DemExpat]

1. Oh OnionPatch....

anxiety is a feeling I know extremely intimately.

I get along fine now - even flying, which I hate and fear - by drinking lots of water, taking herbs like Kava Kava or Valerian/Passionflower, keeping my blood sugar level good with a few raw nuts, a banana, eating something like this every few hours, and with an understanding of anxiety which I gleaned from reading an excellent book on panic attacks in the early 90s.
I do carry one Xanax with me whenever I travel just to have on hand, and have not "had" to take an anxiety medication in over 20 years.....:-).....but still I need it as a crutch for worse case scenarios!

Books on women's health by Northrup http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/055338080X/sr=1-2/qid=1153930760/ref=pd_bbs_2/103-1596770-5687040?ie=UTF8&s=books are good to refer to for all kinds of women's health issues including anxiety in menopause.

Relaxation through breathing exercises is also a tool I can highly recommend. I learned to ward off the extreme panic attacks with my breathing - look into this if you think it might be something for you to use too. You could start by looking at Dr. Weil's breathing exercises on his site.....

Since you prefer to avoid medication, I would look into these approaches of managing and getting relief from anxiety during this hormonal upheaval.

All the best,

DemEx

[OnionPatch]

2. Thanks for the link

The book looks interesting. I'll give it a read for sure. The review says she talks about bio-identical hormones. My doctor poo-poo'd them and gave me Prempro two years ago but the studies scared me off of them. I may look into finding a doc that will let me try the bio-identical ones. These hot flashes during this heat are exhausting and the soy is not helping me as much as it used to.

I forgot to mention that I think becoming a mother for the first time at such a late age, practically during menopause, has stressed me more than I like to admit (although my daughter is a blessing I wouldn't trade for the world.) I always had only me to worry about. Now this precious, little life is in my hands....

So glad to hear that you are able to deal with your anxiety. BTW, twenty years....are you sure that one Xanax you have is still potent? ;) I had an old friend who suffered from anxiety attacks. For the first time I feel I have a glimpse of what she was going through.

I like Dr. Weil and have meant to try those breathing exercises. He puts a lot of store in them.

Do you find the Kava Kava works? It doesn't seem to be doing much for me. Maybe helping a little.

BTW, I love the Netherlands. If I weren't so afraid of flying, it would certainly be on my list of places to go again.

[DemExpat]

3. I prefer taking tincture of Valerian and Passionflower....

I'll make a strong mix of this in my water bottle when I travel - looks like I'm sucking on Whiskey or something like that....:D
This herbal combination gives me enough relief to handle myself - it really does take the edge off.
Along with the breathing techniques to avoid shallow, rapid breathing in stressful situations, these are my arsenal to keep myself able to get around in the world!

LOL...when I wrote that about the Xanax pill I thought I'd get some flack on that.....I ask my doctor ever couple of years for a prescription for 5- 10 of these and replace them when the expiration date passes....

Having to care 24/7 for a young one as well as menopause - yes, that is quite a strain IMO....

But I think that if you are aware of it all, you can take steps to take good care of yourself and create a good balance. Just make your balance and your kid your priorities if you can.

My sister also fears flying but does it anyway - she takes the meds to fly and suffers through it because she refuses to not travel because of the friggin' anxiety.

Oh, and the herb Black Cohosh worked like a charm for my older sister and me for hot flashes, so we didn't have to try the hormones. It didn't help some of my girlfriends, but for us it worked very well for the couple of years to get through this.

:hi:

DemEx

[OnionPatch]

12. Valerian?

We use that in our household for insomnia. It works like a charm but my, oh my, the smell!!! How are you able to drink that stuff? It smells like Limburger cheese! But I can certainly see that it could be effective at calming anxiety. Passionflower I have not tried, but I'll look for it next time I'm in the herbal store.

I'm taking Black Cohosh along with my soy daily, but this last month or so, these are not working as well for me as they used to. They don't seem to be working a ALL lately. I'm looking into taking bioidentical hormones, at least for awhile. If I can find a doctor and a compounding pharmacy...

Kudos to your brave sister. I'm thinking I'll take my chances on Amtrak next time. ;)

[Quakerfriend]

4. OnionPatch, I feel for you! I,too, developed anxiety when I was

going through the 'Big M'. I used to be into rock climbing, repelling, and sky diving until...presto-chango!...I found myself afraid of heights. I still can't be more than six feet up or I start to feel upset. Luckily, LOL, this does not include being up in an airplane!!

Two things that made a world of difference for me- taking "Change-O-Life" by Natures Way. This stopped the hot flashes completely!! And, I mean completely! I have not had one in 4 years, now.

I also took a combined homeopathic remedy by BHI called "Calming" when I felt the anxiety coming on. It also works like a charm, for me.

Both of these can be found in any local health food store. And, they cost very little.

The anxiety comes and goes like the wind. But, it can be tamed. I will never forget the first time I felt the sudden onset of anxiety. I was in my house on a beautiful fall day with not a worry in the world and not a thing to do. Suddenly, I felt that I could almost jump right out of my own skin! Try not to worry about the anxiety you feel, it will all pass.

Best of everything to you, dear:hug:

[OnionPatch]

5. Thanks, I needed a hug!

:)

Your experience with heights just helps convince me that a fear of heights is a common occurance for women in menopause. Both of my sisters aquired that same fear during menopause and none of us had that problem before. We didn't skydive or anything :wow: but we were fairly courageous about most things.

I'll try those two remedies. I would really love to deal with hot flashes without going back on hormones. And the Calming...I could use that right now! Or at least earlier I could have.

I found a remedy today that I had not thought of: Crying! :cry: I was talking to my husband about this and broke out in tears. Since I was at work, I tried not to cry but he told me I needed to go out in the car and let it rip. I didn't right then, but I left work soon after and did find myself crying on the way home. It's amazing how much better I feel now! I think the stress had just built up over the last two weeks and a good cry released a lot of it. It reminded me that I had read a study years back where they analyzed tears from a distress cry and tears from just irritation. The "sad" tears had all these enzymes or something that were linked to high stress levels and the "onion" tears did not. Hmmm...now if I can just make myself cry on command.....

Anyway, I'm feeling better a bit this evening and I'm sure that talking to people about it today (my hubbie and DUers) helped. And I have some new remedies to try. Thanks.

[Random_Australian]

6. Hi there!

Before advice, a hug: :hug:

Anxiety? On top of everything I knew about it already, I did its physical mechanisms (though briefly) in university today!

For the stress & fear component, breathing right is *wonderful* at the time when you are starting to stress out.

Why is this? Stems from the panic response: Panic leads to physiological panic response leads to more panic leads to (you get the picture) in a cycle - one of the physiological symptoms is fast, shallow breathing, so slow, deep and deliberate breathing breaks the cycle very nicely/

Your doc should have taught you slow breathing by now, I should hope. It cannot help with things like hot flushes, but for anxiety? The best. For long term stress though, you will need something to reduce your stress.... though I may say that homeopathies effect is not for any reason like they say, if it works, it works.

And those 'extracurricular' activities? That sounds like a good idea to lay off, IMO.

IIRC, deep breathing is just taking a few seconds to breathe in, holding it for 3 seconds, and letting it out slowly.

The real trick is learning when to use it. The right timing will make it very effective.

But like I said, that is only a short-term aide. It will not effect or improve your general mood, and will only help with 'attack' style stress, but for that little area it is useful.

:)

Of course, taking my word for it would be medical advice, so please consult your doctor if anything sounds unsure or not ok, and for the proper timings. :)

[OnionPatch]

10. I had used some breathing exercises before

It's just been a long time since I did them and didn't think to try them. So I used them today, although I am feeling much better today, I did have a few hard moments and they did seem to help.

About ten years ago, I used self-hypnosis tapes to successfully quit smoking. After 20 years of smoking, I was up to two packs a day! The tape worked great for me. A lot of it was relaxation with deep, slow, deliberate breathing before the affirmations, so I do know how much this can help relax you. Thanks for reminding me.

[Random_Australian]

13. It is truly the easiest thing to forget, for how useful thing it is. Yoga

in fact draws on it a fair bit too, IIRC. (And many other disciplines)

One of the most direct things, but it works against panic or anxiety rather than stress. Meh, given how effective that is, it doesn't matter IMO.

[mopinko]

7. take a yoga class

i am struggling with some anxiety as a side effect of meds right now. i have finally been able to do yoga after getting treatment for fibromyalgia, which has gotten in the way in my many attempts to establish a good practice. i have a short routine that takes 5 minutes to do, and it just calms all that down. works well for general emotional turmoil, and for beating back that creeping fear that you are getting old and falling apart. and will keep you strong, now, anyway.

i also recommend that you invest in a few good microfiber cotton camisoles to wear at night. they really help keep the sweats from waking you up. the sleep deprivation that those damn sweats cause doesn't help the anxiety any.
(and i say light up, but your mileage may vary.)

[OnionPatch]

9. Great idea, the yoga

I've been meaning to do that anyway and have a few good tapes. Thanks.

[Tab]

8. This is not uncommon as you think

For men, they can start experiencing anxiety issues and anxiety attacks in their late 30s. Once they start, they tend to be part of one's life. I don't know the age point for women, but it's not unreasonable that if you're hitting menopause that you could be starting the cycle too.

If it's moderate enough, something like Ativan (lorazepam) might be worth looking into to keep around for occasional attacks. If it's a particularly constant issue, maybe Effexor, which is really good at tamping down chronic anxiety. Of course, it tamps down other stuff too, so it depends on how badly it affects your life. But you could talk to your doctor about it.

Although it's good to do as much mood relaxing and healthful stuff as possible, anxiety knows no restraints, and can crop up in whatever situation types particularly bother you, so don't be afraid to ask about what sort of treatment might help. I guess the point of this post is not to suggest a medication (I'm not a doctor) but rather to tell you that there are meds available that deal with exactly this sort of thing, and they work really well. Many people just assume they have to live with it, but an all-out anxiety attack can really be crippling.

- t

[OnionPatch]

11. Geez, I wonder why this has to happen but I do see that it does

happen to a lot of people. That sucks. As if old age doesn't have enough problems with it. I really don't like it. I'm hoping this is temporary for me. I had not been feeling anxious continuously on a daily basis at all before this trip came up. Before that, my fear of heights only made me anxious when I was actually somewhere in a tall building or driving a cliffy road. As the flight got nearer, I worried more and more and I think I just worried myself sick about it for a few weeks. I had thought I would be relieved and back to normal as soon as I touched ground and got home, but I can see now that my body was having a hard time turning off the anxiety just like that. Luckily, my doctor had given me some Xanax for the flight. I had a few left over and did take a half of one here and there when I felt really bad this last week. I can see that an effective medication can be handy to have around if needed. :) My good cry yesterday and all the good tips I've been trying from DUers and other friends have me feeling a whole lot better today. Almost back to normal! :thumbsup: But if continue to have problems, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to ask my doc for something to keep around just in case. Thanks.

[BigMama50]

14. When you were describing your symptoms

I was thinking to myself...sounds like menopause.

There are a couple of old but wise books on anxiety by Dr. Lucille Weeks, an Australian physician who pioneered work with panic and anxiety and depression before antidepressants. You can probably get them on Amazon or in the library.

[OnionPatch]

29. Thanks BigMama, I'll look those books up

So I guess you've been through this at least enough to recognize it? I didn't know what to expect from menopause. My mother sailed through and I assumed I would too. :shrug:

[Just Me]

15. Hi. I suffer severe anxiety disorder triggered by environmental pressures

I can only advise that, just like any physical ailment, anxiety and panic IS a PHYSICAL INJURY. Our brains are not separate from our bodies.

I would suggest opening your possibilities of treatment,...and pursuing all options until you "feel" yourself.

Do NOT get trapped into the "natural healing" or "spiritual healing" or whatnot.

:hug:

[mopinko]

16. trapped

into the "natural healing" or "spiritual healing" or whatnot.

here here. although i did chime in about the yoga, i usually get annoyed at the whole natural remedy thing. there is a lot wrong with big pharma. but there are a huge number of very useful meds out there. take 'em if you need 'em. for sure.

[DemExpat]

17. Personal experience and perspective here is most important.

For over 2 decades I felt awfully trapped in the medical approach to mental illnesses - stuck for years with different medications which didn't work well for me, which worked only briefly, which gave me unacceptable side effects, or which even made things worse, so, for me, natural healing and spiritual ideas and practices about suffering ended up giving me my life back.

I function now very well, although not as a perfectly healthy human specimen.:-)(What's that anyway?)
Where panic disorder and depression (borderline PD) crippled me and narrowed my world down to a miserable existance, I now enjoy my life and can move around in society without panic attacks. I feel down sometimes, but not in deeply and sustained depression. I know the difference now! And I reached this point after several years of using this other approach to healing.

So, I would be careful in discouraging any approach to our problems here, for I think meds, psychotherapies/counselling, and natural and spiritual healing all have great value for us in different combinations.

DemEx

[mopinko]

18. i do understand

but i think that, especially here on du, where skepticism is the coin of the realm, there tends to be suspicion of anything attached to money. (but not much suspicion of the megabucks shoveled in by herbal remedies, hmmm.)
people in trouble tend to be fearful and suspicious anyway. it can be a real cul-de-sac. i think people need encouragement to reach past that to get help.
i respect your success, but i am entitled to my opinion.

[DemExpat]

19. It seems to me

that Onion Patch has access to Xanax for anxiety, and was asking here for our thoughts, ideas and experiences with the complex state of anxiety.
Everyone's experiences here are IMO valuable encouragement, which have nothing whatsoever to do with suspicion of Big Pharma, or mega bucks of meds and herbs, etc.

I respect your opinion and success as well, mopinko.

DemEx

[mopinko]

20. trudat, demex

just think that it is common for people who are in trouble to be a little extra suspicious. taking meds can become extra scary. and shonuf is a lot of trial and error that goes into finding the right meds or combo of meds.
they don't work for everyone, and there is more art than science in psychiatry anyway.
i was just applauding the suggestion that she keep her options open, take advantage of help that is out there, and not fall into the false dichotomy of physical/mental health.

[DemExpat]

21. Oh yes, keeping options open is vital,

and I also agree with you about physical and mental being one whole.

It just seems like for each of us the focus on body, mind and/or spirituality for learning to manage or heal our problems is unique. That is the Art of Living IMO.

:hi:

DemEx

[OnionPatch]

30. I am open to all sorts of healing

I tend to try to most natural route first, but I didn't hesitate to take the Xanax on the plane trip. :) I just want to avoid being on any kind of pharmaceuticals long-term if I can help it. I'm not against them, really, I'm just suspicious, especially these days, that they haven't been tested thoroughly. And I definitely want to stay away from synthetic hormones if I can help it.

Sorry to hear about your anxiety. It's no fun at all, that's for sure. I hope you've been able to find effective ways to deal with it. :hug:

[MuseRider]

22. I had no idea that menopause

could cause anxiety!

Well now, my life is making a little more sense now. I am 52 and I figure I am in the process anyway.

After my brothers death 3 1/2 years ago I became deeply depressed. The only problem was that I know most everyone in the medical community here and the only help I was offered was a pat on the back and Doc after Doc telling me I was tough. My husband somehow did not even realize that I did not change my clothes for an entire winter (could be another part of the problem)

I finally started to snap out of it and realized that I had really screwed up during that time, burned a lot of bridges and left a lot of undone things that affect me now. I started having the anxiety attacks and became suicidal. Now I am too chicken to actually do that but I was close and I ended up breaking down.

So now I find out that it could be that as well. It makes sense.

I am just this last 2 weeks on Wellbutrin XL and it does seem to be helping me with lorazepam for the anxiety. Mostly I can keep that under control during the day with breathing but at least with the little white pill I can sleep without waking up in a panic.

The state of the planet is not helping any of us I am certain and I find myself with a low grade anxiety all the time.

So menopause is probably part of it as well. Damn, this is really tough.

[DemExpat]

23. Hang in there, MuseRider.....

....menopause is temporary, and we just have to keep some faith that this nightmare of an administration and its global effects will also be just a bad dream in a few years time!

I think I am pretty much through "the change", and my life is much stabler now without the monthly hormonal shifts with some years of just terrible PMT which I often had 3 weeks out of each month! :silly: and the larger scale change of menopause.

Take good care of yourself diet-wise, with gentle exercise and doing nurturing and fun things for yourself.

:hug:

DemEx

[MuseRider]

24. Ahh, thanks so much.

It is a real roller coaster and I think I am stuck in the loop right now.

Very good advice, I really do need to get back to my usually optimistic way of thinking.

I really appreciate the hug and thoughts and I will try to use them to get through today and then perhaps tomorrow will be better and I can build from that. This is so odd for me to be this way and I really want it to stop.

[mopinko]

25. sleep

i think that for me one of the main mechanisms through with menopause messed with me was sleep. those sweats, which were exacerbated by some autoimmune "stuff" (still not quite explained) totally screwed up my sleep.
i have has so many examples, just in my family, with sleep problems that led to huge mood problems that led to relationship/coping problems.
if i had a magic wand, it would be standard practice to do a sleep study for anyone with any kind of mood, or relationship troubles. and i would order one for any husband that is as out of it as yours is/was.

i agree that anyone who has been paying attention for the last 6 years, to say nothing of the last 20, has at least some anxiety and sleepless nights.

[MuseRider]

26. I am a narcoleptic

and our sleep is terrible, not normal at all and we always wake tired. Now that has nothing to do with the daytime problems it is just an additional joy. My prescription for lorazepam calls for 1-2 as needed for anxiety up to 4 times per day. I have decided that I can handle the anxiety during the day but those pills at night, and I only take 0.5 mg, have provided me with the best sleep I think I have had in 40 years. Except for the night sweats I will sleep through the night and I dream again, dreams I can remember and they are not unpleasant. It has been a long time since I had an actual dream and not just some hypnagogic weirdness. I am hoping this will go a long way to helping me get over this hump because I am not happy to be feeling like this. I am learning the hard way exactly what depression and anxiety are and I am not liking it at all.

Thanks, I can't see how anyone paying attention could ever rest easily, the world is falling to pieces in so many ways it is stunning and should be making us all uneasy. Ahh, the little white pill. I hope they let me keep it for a while.

[mopinko]

27. it can take a long time.

especially if the sleep you are getting is still not "perfect". a month or 2 would be really good. but it will make a big difference.

[marions ghost]

28. without replaying all the social political issues

--"the state of the planet" is a large factor in increasing levels of anxiety IMO.

We are having to face some hard realities and the magnitude of the problems are overwhelming. It's bad enough to be a parent and wonder what your children will face, but we are also worrying about what we ourselves will face. It adds a lot of fuel to the fire. Support groups are necessary to deal with this type of free-floating anxiety. You have to actively do things to counter the fears and daily anxieties of living under Bushco. DU helps. Doing any political activism helps. Doing anything positive helps.

Sometimes I use positive affirmations. "We will survive this. We will help others to tough it out. We are strong." Personally I like to say "we" because that makes me feel not so alone. Think of strong people in your family or people who have overcome big obstacles. Make up your own affirmations that you can call to mind. I have found that as we face these political crises it's important to look for the good where ever it is and to actually *practice* being strong. Find people going through the same degree of angst about it all to rely on. Don't be emotionally affected by people who are in denial or remain uninvolved. Don't judge them, realize they're just in a different place. Or that they might feel like you, but aren't ready to show it. I had a friend who I thought was mired down in her own life and wasn't paying any attention to world affairs. One day she surprised me by just blurting out, "My sons are NOT going to this war!" (oldest is 16) This friend always seemed to be more serene than anyone else, but she had a lot of low-grade anxiety about the world situation...same as we who react more (whether from hormones or other reasons).
-----------------

Just to throw this in, I have had some good results for the symptoms being discussed with acupuncture. Unfortunately this is not always available or subsidized by health plans. But it's something to consider as an alternative or as an addition to standard treatments, especially if symptoms are severe or there is ongoing stress or a crisis situation. It works for hormonal balancing and preventative, while at the same time you would other quick-acting means in case of an acute anxiety attack. I also think that nutritional factors are bigger than many people realize in adding to, or alleviating the problems.

I think slowing down on a regular basis can be helpful. If you don't meditate by some technique, then just sit in a lawn chair and stair at a tree. I'm serious. 20-30 minutes just contemplating something in nature, letting the thoughts drift, letting concerns go. Most people find this very difficult to do. Shows how much we need down time and making mental "space."

[OnionPatch]

32. I like your idea of saying "we"

I'm going to try that in my next meditation. It is good to remember that there are so many others like us out there. I tend to forget that living here in fundieland. Everyone around me seems to think things are hunky-dory.

Thanks for the acupuncture suggestion. I tried it once years ago when I had some bad neck pain and it did seem to help some. I'm kind of a needle wimp though....I think I'll hold off on trying that again just yet. ;) I've been a good bit better lately. I decided that before I went on hormones that I would try harder at taking care of my health. I was taking soy but not really getting much exercise. So I've been walking five days a week now and lifting a little weight a couple of times a week. I've been drinking more water and eating more green stuff. I still take soy but I added a women's multi-vitamin/mineral formula and some things like fish oil and CoQ10. For the mental health, I've been meditating and taking St. John's Wort for several weeks. I have to say I'm really improved all the way around. I've been sleeping through the nights with no hot flashes again. That alone is enough to improve my mood so I've been a lot less depressed and a bit less anxious as well.

I'm still not into flying, though. :yoiks:

[OnionPatch]

31. I am mad at myself for

not checking back on this thread. I had almost forgotton that I posted this and here is all this conversation going on! I wish there were a feature on DU that will let you know if there are replies to ANY of your threads and not just the recent ones. (Unless there is and I don't know about it.)

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear the bad stuff you're going through and am wondering how you're doing on the Wellbutrin. I hope it's helping. I took the advice of DemExpat and read Christine Northrup's book on menopause and also a few others and yes, they all say anxiety is one of the things that can happen to us during menopause. And so many women I talk to insist that they are more anxious since they entered menopause. My sister hit on what I think may be the reason behind this; our bodies stop making as much testosterone at menopause. And it's the hormone that gives us bravado. I thought that made sense. I would bet that sure, menopause is part of what's affecting your mental state. But then, again, losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we can go through in life. It sounds like you didn't have much support either. So sorry to hear. :hug:

I think you're right that the state of the planet is affecting us all, too. Who knew we'd have to be fighting fascism at the dawn of our golden years?