So my doc wants me to see a psychaitrist

[skygazer]

:nuke:

I know she's right but I'm having a hard time accepting that I'm slipping back down that frigging road again. I've been med-free and stable for over 7 years now - 7 years! I don't want to go back, I'm afraid to go back and rationally, I know that going to a psychaitrist is a positive step toward keeping me from going back but in a very real way, it feels like a defeat.

Ten years ago, I was so messed up with bi-polar and PTSD that I spent a week in a nuthouse. I was suicidal. I was taking so many meds, I referred to them as "fruit salad" because of all the pretty colors. I left that behind in 1998, moved to California and all my friends here who didn't know me when I was crazy as a bedbug think of me as the sanest person they know. What a riot!

But this past year has been too much and I can feel it fluttering in my head, trying to get out and I know the doc is right. But it still pisses me off. I fucking hate this. Why did I have to be born this way? Why do I have to do this? :cry: :banghead:

[EFerrari]

1. Who knows? Going to a psychiatrist could mean putting the brakes

on and not slipping back down that road.

But I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish I just had a crabby mother in law and a brown lawn. Aphids -- I'd even take aphids.

:)

:hug:

[undergroundpanther]

2. Well

I have been a "nut" since childhood. I spent maybe a total of 15 years maybe more in the loon bins.Docs thought I'd be locked up for life.
I have PSTD too and everyday I think of suicide.Everyday I hurt.
One way or another

I look at it this way, fuck it. Fuckitall. Who gives a rats ass about normalcy there is no such thing as"normal"Life is one hassle after another so it feels alot like a piece of shit, so if that is what life feels like and you know it's going to get that way, why let it get worse?
Mental illness or "normalcy" is not a win or lose proposition.
Do you think someone with say, diabetes would beat themselves up if they have their insulin dose increased and feel like a loser because they take so many more milligrams insulin today than they did last week?

My perspective is life is short(thankfully) and knowing that why make it a competition with yourself to be a certain way?
Things change all the time, life is stressful as fuck, and anyone could blow. This time you are, next time it's someone else, or me.

We all want and strive to have a comfortable state of mind or homeostatis..And it doesn't always last, even for so called sane people.. And homeostasis is impossible to maintain forever in such an unstable, un predictable, uncontrollable reality that changes all the time. We can adapt and all but sometimes we need help, we need assistance that is WHY we are social creatures. When we got them we are lucky to have our moments in the sun, so do whatever it takes to keep them coming because if you let pride stand in your way, you are not doing yourself any favors, that would mean jack squat if your PSTD or bi-polar started kicking your ass in earnest.Go get the shrink get it treated faster than maybe a crisis will be a mere hiccup in your life instead of a breakdown.

Do you think someone with diabetes would say, damn I don't wanna take any more insulin, I am ashamed of it, everyone would think I am incompetent to manage my sugar,no I'll just stay on the low dose and pretend it won't hurt me later? Hell no. So if you need to see a shrink, GO...Now.

You might like this..




Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. ~Author Unknown


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. ~Rita Mae Brown


When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. ~Mark Twain

Take care of yourself!! If you don't who will?

[Pharaoh]

3. Madness takes it's toll: please have exact change

That's fucking hilarious!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I gotto use that in my tag line.

[skygazer]

4. You're right, of course

And of course I will do what I have to. But in fact, people with diabetes DO get angry and bitter that their lives are tied to their insulin. I've known diabetics who have drank or eaten poorly purely out of spite and frustration.

I'm old enough and have been through enough downward spirals not to behave so foolishly. I know in my heart that the best thing I can do is treat this before it becomes an insurmountable problem, before I enter that miserable, scary dark tunnel. But I don't have to like it.

I do accept that this is the way I am. I am never going to be "normal" or "get better" or "be cured." And much as I sometimes wish I was, I don't think I really mean it because, warts and all, I do love myself. And I wouldn't be who I am - wouldn't have the compassion for the less fortunate for one thing - if I didn't carry what I carry.

Thanks for the quotes - they're great. And true. And hang in there yourself. I appreciate your thoughts. :hug:

[mopinko]

5. can't say much but,

hang in there. and vent away.
:grouphug: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[mrgorth]

6. If you have ptsd it means you WEREN'T

born that way, no?

[skygazer]

7. No, I was born bi-polar

The PTSD was just a stroke of luck.

[Pharaoh]

8. stroke of luck!

:spray: :rofl:

[Tab]

9. On the bright side...

you've been through a certain amount of med experimentation, so you know what stuff you don't do well with, so if you need to start with them again you know what to avoid, which should make this session a lot quicker to settle into something that works.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

10. Speaking as someone who takes his daily med...

Although I know I am getting off easy in the MH Sweepstakes, I have always wondered about something:

We can get ill in any other part of our bodies, up to the bridge of our nose, and it's OK. You get sympathy, tea and toast, cards and flowers and ice cream. Get sick above the bridge of your nose? Not so much.

We know that others are gonna do it to us. Why do we do it to ourselves?

By going to the psych, you are doing the most responsible, adult and honest thing you can. You are not living in denial and putting yourself at greater risk. That's awesome. That's admirable. You have every reason to be proud. We are proud of you.

All of which could be used as evidence that you HAVE dealt with your condition, successfully. You are, and will be, doing the most constructive and responsible thing you can. As a former peer counselor, I can tell you that not everyone has such a sense of responsibility about their mental health, including(and sometimes, especially) the "normies".

This is for you: :hug: :thumbsup: