No shelter for men

[Rockstone]

I met with a counselor from an organization to help me with the domestic violence. He said he is frustrated because there are no services for men. We called the Haven number and they went to extra lengths to find any resource available. They gave us a number that my counselor was familiar with - as soon as he heard it he said "it's a dump". It was a homeless shelter. He said he knows the guy that runs it and I didn't want to go there. He said you'll have scabies and all kinds of stuff by the time you get out of there. I said that's like another form of punishment.

I also felt like they Haven line was dumping me. Maybe that's what he meant. Either way that's not too good.

My wife called while I was there and I had her on speakerphone so he could hear her tactics. I guess that was fortunate. He can teach me what I need to know to not get caught up in her game.

I went back home tonight. She was saying how overwhelmed she was all week and I felt sorry for her. I ended up getting hit in the face twice. I didn't even block this time. It's like I don't even care anymore. I did get the opportunity to gather up my important documents and all the evidence of abuse. I guess that was worth it.

I am motivated to help do somthing for male victims of domestic violence and their families. I don't know what it will be, but something has to be done. There is just little to nothing for us. My counselor said if I was a woman, the police would come get me right now and escort me to a shelter and help financially. I asked him how this stuff was financed and he said it was through the government and charities.

I am probably foutunate to have found some who can at least give me information a guidance in making rational decisions.

[mopinko]

1. can't she be arrested? and removed from the home?

why should you go to a shelter, when she should be sitting in jail?

[EFerrari]

2. You are absolutely right. About 5 years ago, I took an informal

poll of the resources in a 50 mile radius of my home.

There were no resources for men.

I asked, "What if my brother came to you and asked for help?"

Not one person could give a coherent answer at any of the orgs I called.

I don't care about the ratios -- who does more to whom. I care about real people getting the help they really need in their real lives.

Much love and luck to you. Keep us posted.

Beth