Are you afraid of what * is going to do to those of us on disability...

[Ladyhawk]

...for our illnesses?

I've never outright mentioned this, but I was declared disabled because of my depression. The physical ailments all came later and I believe they came as a direct result of the depression. Because I spent three years in bed, I gained a lot of weight, which led to the diabetes, the sleep apnea and the neck and back problems.

When * talks about cutting social security, I get scared.

How are you feeling about this?

[derbstyron]

1. I agree

I'm on disability for numerous mental issues and I am simply not
able to work at this time. I will go back when I'm ready but I can't yet.

And it's not like I *want* to be on disability. I left the as manager
of a million dollar a year store for life on foodstamps? I think not.

Also, it seems that employers are not fond of you heading
into the bathroom and slicing your wrist.

[undergroundpanther]

2. I think

Bush is running scared from us Not because we are a danger now,but of what we might do(which is badsed in bigotry in his head). He's greedy torn between two wants.

Bush wants to steal the disability /social security money,but he knows certain disabled folks have very vocal caretakers who would raise hell if they lost thier benifiets.
Also the disabled can organize,and they have REAL moral highground that the greedy don't and cannot EVER have.

I think the real danger is in how bush's paternalistic approach to disability manifests in real life..Like having problem doctors that are trigger happy with commitments,are into controlling people,limiting their freedoms because they can,, medicating people into inactivity, kinda ike a chemical lobotomy,and using restraints hospitals and institutions as a tool to put us out of sight, one by one in the name of convienence.
Than over time,one by one he'll sysyematically kill us off.
And make it appear random.

Bush's evil hearted handlers are smart,they will not kill off people en masse like the Nazis did.They might want to but they can't .They don't want a political backfire on thier fascist dreams. So They'll do it sneaky. Kill a few 'nuts' here,Drug a few 'crips'to death there,Pull a few plugs ,have a few accidents,mix up a few medicines,a few unfortunate incidents over there,The people killed will be done in a scattered throught the country way in various unconnected places and diverse situations...Perfect plausible deniability for genocidal assholes Don'tcha think?.. This kind of systematic murder will occur kinda like snow falls,Individual snowflakes don't show,on the grass, it can snow million of flakes can fall for quite awhile before any accumulation begins to be seen by outside observers..

By time it's seen it might be too late.
Meanwhile Bush can introduce legislation in his usual orwellian way,dumb down the hysterical public,indoctrinate and desensitize the public to the evilness of ideas like eugenics,authoruitarianism,genocide, torture and social darwinism.
The media can rationalize it ignore it or paint it as holy or even nessary.And the stupid ass,emotionally disconnected,sleepwalking scared,and greedy public will buy into it,like most every other lie,politicians say,and have said since the beginning of the USA..

The RWingers have turned alot of people on to being,selfish,violent,fundy,controlling ,pathologically disconnected from emotions like tenderness kindness ,and made people hyper competitive .Society is turning more and more sociopathic already..Bush and his right wing cabal, the fundy greedy hypocrite church will all work overtime to erode the public's empathy for those declared as'weak' or 'useless eaters'.The public will seek a scapegoat they can dominate rather than attack thier true opressors playing the disaplinarian,abusive parental role in government.

Things will heat up as more people lose thier jobs for no real reason,and they'll resent people on SSI,and they will envy us,and make us as the "problem " of society needing fixing as the burden on the'normals' grows,and thier sense of security at the same time dwindles,they freakout,since they cannot directly fight the source of thier opression because the source is the hand that feeds them(the rich ruiling class)so they'll misdirect that anger,look the other way, and some will be more willing to sacrifice the disabled or mentally ill,women.gays transpeople, or the criminals "for thier own good" thamn others.Which means really they are acting out the real agenda of rightwingers,social dawrwinism.Death is good for the welfare of corporations so the masically nutralized disabled and diverse will be seen as less of a "drag" on the economy.As the public sells it's soul to sucess again,hypocitically thinking of only saving thier own undisabled asses..first while they say bullshit with thier mouths and hide thier true colors under a false pretty plausable deniability..

That is how I think this will unfold.

[Ladyhawk]

4. You're probably right.

I think the easiest way to kill us off is to let the health care system just get worse and worse. I've needed an MRI for a year. The poor will have worse and worse access to medical care and little by little, we'll all die off.

You're right that the shrub can't afford to kill us off en masse. He'll make the others resent us so that our pleas for decent health care fall on deaf ears.

Maybe he'll fail to make others hate us. I hope that is the case because I feel pretty hated right now. :(

[Droopy]

3. I'm concerned about it

I'm not on disability, but since I've fallen ill I was comforted that it was there just in case I might need it.

I wouldn't be surprised to see cut backs or restrictions put on disability due to Bush's misguided tax cuts. I'm praying this doesn't happen for my own sake as well as the welfare of others who are currently or may need SSDI in the future. I'm afraid that Bush may say that his faith based initiatives will cover the shortfall.

[vetwife]

5. Ladyhawk...please listen to me

There was just a 2.7 increase in Social Security benefits and Va benefits. None of the changes in social security are affecting those who are receiving. Are you worried about the younger folks who may or may opt out of the system? I wish I could pull all of my Social security earning out and put it somewhere else. I am not on social security but have invested for years. I remember thinking that I wanted to have an option back when I was 27. We may differ on opinion here but, there was never a lockbox on Social Security. My 150,000 has already been paid out to those on SS. That is the way it works. It's there on paper and maybe the only way I will get to draw is for something to make it solvent, when I reach social security retirement age.

I also want to speak with you about cutting off your family. Dear, there are no politicans, nor pundits, or boards worth dropping family for. You may be a little more content if you try to reach over and understand that they have a point of view just as you do. The folks who fed and clothed you when you could not do so for yourself are probably missing you very much. Don't lose sight of family, no matter what their politics. All it takes is one dying and a burying and one changes their perspective but then its too late.

Please get some pro help for you depression because people do care about you and your family I am sure some do and just may feel like you have shut them out. When it comes right down to it, its the ones you have known all of your life that will come by and see you through things people thousands of miles cannot do even if they want to. I have family members who are extremely right winged and I love them. I have friends who are extremely right winged and they love me as I love them. To devil with the politics when you are hurting this much and deep down I think you want your family, but accept them for who they are. Don't talk about your views around them because all said and done, Family is what keeps us from becoming bitter and cold and hurt. I have been hurt by family but I also have hurt family and the trick I believe IMO, is to forgive and go on.

One of my dearest friends for over 35 years is helping me through some things right now with our 14 year old daughter. We are there for each other, regardless of our viewpoints on the world. I love my friend and she is as Right winged, and Republican as they come but there comes a time in one's life you can't replace help with a message board. I am trying to help you. If your family does not reach back then pray for them but its not all about black and white issues and who is right and who is wrong in their beliefs. Its about caring, and love and taking that first step. It takes courage to reach out and accept other's viewpoint. Try it. Could you feel any worse?
Thanks for listening !

[Ladyhawk]

6. Hi vetwife.

Regarding my family, it's more than just politics. My mother and I were in a very unhealthy relationship. Both of my counselors agreed with my decision.

My mother's relationship with me was one of complete control. With help from my new counselor, I tried to create boundaries so I wouldn't go nuts. He told me to imagine her locked in the attic or basement and if I didn't want to deal with her, I didn't have to.

It was lovely for about two days. I didn't answer or return phone calls if I didn't want to. Then she showed up, used her key and came into my apartment twice without my permission. I went to her house to get my key back, explaining that I felt she had violated my boundaries.

She told me that I needed to find someone else to help me if she didn't have complete access to my apartment. So, in other words, unless she had a key, she wasn't going to help me. Screw that.

This is the same woman who brought a known criminal into our house and hid the fact from family. This man was a gang member--a Crip--from LA. At one point when he returned to LA, rival gang members shot him seven times. He lived. Even after that she foisted his presence on me and swore me to secrecy.

This is the same woman who snooped into my online writings, read a poem I wrote and deduced that I was demon-possessed.

This is the same woman who tried to have me COMMITTED two weeks after I broke off contact with her.

My brother is just plain cruel. He's a correctional officer and I've heard lots of stories of his. He used to taunt prisoners on Death Row about their death dates. He seems to approve of hitting prisoners to get confessions. He's been cruel to animals as long as I can remember. How am I supposed to have a relationship with someone like that?

I no longer have any common ground with either of these people. This has been going on for years and years and I've put up with it and put up with it. No more.

On edit: if you want to PM me, you can. I don't think you understand my background. My family were extreme right-wing fundamentalists and sent me to a fundamentalist school. My father was physically abusive. My mother is controlling. My brother is cruel. I just can't handle that shit anymore. I feel so relieved, even though I'm lonely.

On edit: we already had a death in the family a few years back. When my father died, I was relieved. :( He was cruel and abusive.

[vetwife]

7. Hi Ladyhawk

Dear, I understand or am trying to understand why you feel like you do about your Mother and Brother but surely you have more family or friends than these .
I know hurt. Trust me..I KNOW hurt. There has to be some starting point on resolve. I am not a therapist but a therapist who would tell you to picture those type of things sounds out of touch and needs some counseling themselves. I am a Chrisitan. I believe in forgivness.

Have you tried to think that maybe your Mother was trying to protect you by reading your online conversations because God knows, we know there are a lot of people who prey on those who have problems. The key thing..Did you think that maybe she was afraid you may be so depressed you could be suicidal? Did you ask her to trust you or did you both try and work some things out? There seems to be more here than actualll meets the eye. It seems you have some unresolved issues from the past that only can be resolved not by picturing her locked away somewhere but by working them through counseling ...PROFESSIONALLY AND TOGETHER. Love is unconditional or should be IMO. If this is not resolved, some other therapist will have you writing letters of apology to her when she dies. I know because I have seen this thing happen.

Does it really matter who is right and who is wrong if there can be some healing between you and your Mother? Maybe she is sorry for things in the past and maybe she wants to protect you. Maybe she doesn't and maybe she does but one thing for sure, its bothering you or you wouldn't be posting it here in Mental Health.

Maybe you do not approve of the things your brother does and maybe it sickens you. It would me. Well, I am sorry but right now I have a problem with people on death row and they do not get one bit of my sympathy unless they are innocent.But that is me at this point in my life. Try to reach him. You won't help the pisoners he guards if you lock him out too. Are there no other family members who could help? Like an Aunt or Sister who could even help mediate the situation and help you find each other start a relationship of substance? I think IMO, you really love your family IN SPITE OF HOW YOU FEEL THEY HAVE BEHAVED......No one has a perfect family. We all have so many differences in families and many are so dysfunctional but people get professional help and work through them. This is what I am saying.

As far as the fundamentalism upbringing? What does that mean? I am a minister's daughter. Trust me I was brought up very conservative and I am still conservative but the church did not wreck me. If the church beat you or was abusing you, then it may have caused you some problems but this is DEEP and I do want you to feel good and not be alone and that is only going to come about by Getting to the root of all of this conflict and hurt with PORFESSIONAL GUIDANCE and that will only be with the right therapist. My husband is a vet and went through about 15 therapists telling him 15 different things until he found the right one regarding his particuliar problems. He then started feeling better. Please be careful. Life is too short, a vapor, to harbour feelings from both sides that you just don't understand. You may be too depressed to be alone and locking people out of your life. That could not help. One could lock out feelings but not the people. That is the way I see you can be helped.

You had teachers in school.(surely) You had friends in school.(surely) I am sure there are more people than your Mom and brother. There are real people to reach out to and help you and this situation. Please reach. This won't go away even if they die. You are part of them and they a part of you. Please get some resolve and look for another therapist. I have gone to psychiatrists with my husband for years. I have sat in therapy meetings, I saw my Mother get counseling. I saw my Father counsel. My family was made up of doctors. My uncles were Doctors and cousins that are atill physicians. This stuff is not new to me. I was a Crisis Operator when I was a 911 operator. I have vets call me with all kinds of issues and I am the other voice on the phone. You need someone. I think you want your family but there are problems. Please try to resolve them.
Peace and I will be praying for you.

[Ladyhawk]

8. Sigh...you don't get it.

I've tried forgiveness so many times, only to get back-stabbed. I've learned that to the so-called Christians in my family, forgiveness means they are free to strike my other cheek.

I am not a Christian. I was for the first 20-odd years of my life and found it didn't work for me. I think forgiveness is overrated, especially when one person in the relationship seeks to completely control the other. I will no longer be controlled.

Cutting off relationships is the only approach I can think of that I have not tried. Those counselors who have met with my mother agreed that I probably had to take this step to finally have something resembling adult independence. Yes, I'm lonely, but there are 6 billion other people on this planet, some of whom don't want to control me, I'm sure.

At this point it's creeping me out that someone on an Internet forum is trying to second-guess my 37 years of experience with these people, is trying to second-guess my psychiatrist, my old counselor and my new counselor. It's also creeping me out that you brought religion into the mix. I am not a religious person. In fact, the narrow religion in which I was raised hurt me deeply. I freak out when a religious person tries to make me live according to their principles. It smacks of proselytization.

I know you mean well, but you can't possibly understand the reasons why I undertook this drastic measure. You can't know what it has been like for me. So I ask you to stop judging me. End of story.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged." Matthew 7:1

[vetwife]

9. I never judged you ...Not my job

I was offering my help. I am no doctor. and, not a preacher.
I want you to feel better and you are right I don't know you Ladyhawk and neither does anyone else on this board.....not like counselors and docs.

I know you are going to do what you will.
Believe me, I was only trying to offer my advise.
I would love to not see you here anymore on this forum and posting somewhere else here as that would mean something worked., and you were coping.

I told you my Dad was a minister and you brought up religion, I just responded. I never judged you.

[undergroundpanther]

10. Ladyhawke

From what I can tell ,you grew up with sociopaths and narcissists that will make anyone go crazy. Bullies are some fucked up people who fuck up every relationship they enter by making it abusive.Sometimes this fuzzy bunny game of forgiveness is bullshit.I really get irritated at christians and thier forgiveness claptrap.Some people are such theives of trust they will use forgiveness and take advantage of you to hurt you more.Christrians who fail to understand this about certain people are in denial.If it works for them,dandy...It does not work for everyone in all sitiuations.Forgiveness doesen't even work on all christians.Religion is bullshit when it's preached to people who don't care,don't believe,don't want ANYTHING to do with the christian god,who deal with dangerous personalities in abusive sitations with people who have conduct disorders and bully issues it is offensive in it's unrealisticness. It's almost narcissistic when Christians foist that assumption of forgiving on others.I tell the fools off.I don't care if they think they are wearing a good guy badge,Christianity fort me in my life is unhealthy and emotionally toxic.For some people christianity is harmful.And that is how it is.Christiansd need to learn to respect differences in people and get some genuine empathy from the heart to give to who's suffering and shut up about thier religion..
Ladyhawke ,Check out this site,

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3/

it is a support group online for voicelessness and healing from the mental anguish and traumas caused by sick self serving Narcissists and authoritarians,or any person with the malignant self love,conduct disorders and that entitlement bullshit common to controlling assholes.

It's a nice place, supportive,and abuser free,Anyone dealing with crazy making abusive people would find a haven and good info to use in coping there.