At what point would you consider someone depressed and ask that they get help?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

[TZ]

1. It depends...

If it seems like they are having trouble functioning normally and you suspect they could hurt themselves..But it seems like depressives are good at hiding their symptoms. If you are concerned I would talk to the person directly about it. Beating around the bush can be dangerous if someone truly is depressed. And if its just normal blues that many get..I am sure the concern would be appreciated whatever the case. Make whomever it is aware that you are supportive and that you care. That is a very important thing. Many depressives feel unloved and isolated(I am struggling with that feeling currently myself) and thats dangerous.

[Droopy]

2. Like turtlensue mentioned

It's possible that you may not know the extent of the depression. I think it's when people start engaging in self destructive behavior that is a clear sign and someone doing that would definitely be in need of professional help.

Maybe you could start just by asking the person if he/she feels ok. If a person is seriously depressed the flood gates might open because that person may have been thinking that nobody really cares. Just be honest and say you are concerned. It could make a world of difference.

[Larissa238]

3. When you see their emotions seriously interfering in their daily life

Yeah, everyone gets down now and then. That's normal. It's good to be there for them in their down times, but "normal" (used very loosely, it seems that everyone has depression these days) people bounce back in a couple days.

I had a roommate in college that started dating her boyfriend in high school. They went to the same college, and in her junior year, he proposed. We were all happy, we knew how much she loved him, and we started planning the wedding. A couple weeks before the wedding (I think it was 2 weeks, right after finals) when everything had be bought and paid for he announces that he was cheating on her. She called off the wedding and broke up with him. She spent most of the summer in her room, crying. My roommates took care of her, making sure she was okay. That's a really freaking hard hit to take - that your high school sweetheart, the love of your life is cheating on you. As the summer went on, she began to get better and by the time school started she was almost normal again (but not really on the dating scene, and I don't blame her). She was really depressed, but she still managed to work, and bounced back. If she had gone to a psyc, they would have medicated her and who knows when she would have gotten off them. But she managed on her own, and I think last time I heard, she is dating another guy now. I didn't have to step in, because even though she was really depressed, she was dealing with it and moving on with her life.

On the other hand, I knew people who let their depression overcome everything (myself included at one point) where they can't function normally anymore. Going to work or school is just too much, going out with friends is unthinkable, all they want to do is sit and mope. At this point I would suggest help, or maybe even before when you can see them getting into that mode. You want to get them help before they start thinking of suicide, because once you get there, getting them on antidepressants is a risk. You need to ask them what is making them feel that way. If it's something obvious, like with my ex-roommate, take that into account as well. If they don't have a good reason to be depressed, that's a good sign of depression.

Don't start with the "you need to see a doctor now!!!!!" right away unless they are seriously hurting themselves or thinking of suicide. Bring up the idea of doctors slowly. If they are scared of being put on drugs right away, suggest a counselor or therapist rather than a psychiatrist. A counselor can deal with the problems, and decide if it is bad enough for them to be put on medications, and then they can suggest a doctor that they think is good, rather than picking a random doctor from an insurance plan book.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helps :)

[hunter]

4. The deeper I'm in it, the more I mask it, and the harder it is to get me help.

I lose my ability to judge people's intent, and I lose any insights I might have about my own state.

The "reasons" for my depression become real to me, even if they make no sense to other people.

When I'm in that state I will meet any direct advice to "get help" with open hostility.

It really sucks. I joke with people that when I'm like that they should just hunt me down with a tranquilizer gun, shoot me in the butt, and drag me off to my doctor. Except it's not really a joke. I become some sort of feral human that can't be caught.

Good luck! But be forwarned, if it's the sort of thing that requires medical intervention it may take quite a bit more than just asking they get help.

Be patient, but be ready to hit the panic button if they are the suicidal sort.

[mopinko]

5. can you give us some clues?

asking someone to get support is not likely to be helpful, imho. if they are really depressed they will either- take it as an accusation that they are crazy, and get pissed at you. feel kinda uncovered, and close up around you. or... lots of other unintended consequences.
more info would lead to some more constructive answers. how close are you to this person? what has you concerned?

[EFerrari]

6. There may be a step in between there where you ask

questions rather than make suggestion.