Some days are just so hard

[mdmc]

Today.

Y'all know what I am talking about. No explanation needed. God help me. Help us all.

[UndertheOcean]

1. I know , I know

God help us all , if there is a God

[UndertheOcean]

2. I just so fucking know

:(

[easttexaslefty]

3. Yes, I do know

I wish from the bottom of my heart that I did not....

[easttexaslefty]

4. I will add

I just read a book about depression and suicide. The questions to ask are: Where does it hurt? How can I help?
So, I ask you my fellow wounded warriors. Where does it hurt and how can i help?

[mdmc]

7. keep posting my friend

:hug:
I often wonder what it would be like to not care, to only look out for numero uno, to do whatever brings pleasure.

Where does it hurt? The heart I guess. My girl was crowding me when I posted the OP. She was going through a hard time and I couldn't give much more.

How can you help? Keep posting my friend. While I find DU to be a little to center/right for my taste, I love this place with all my heart. Such great people here.

Peace and low stress to you and yours. And keep posting.

[Ellen Forradalom]

5. A-men to that

It hasn't exactly been a red letter week over here either.

[MonkeyFunk]

6. Yes, I know

hang in there. Please.

[mdmc]

8. Today

My girlie got the blues... medical leave... stress...
How is everyone else?

[easttexaslefty]

9. coping....one day at a time

I'm going to a parents of suicide retreat this weekend? Sorry about your girl.

[mdmc]

10. Hope your time is productive

:hug:

[mopinko]

11. how about you friend?

i know how it is to have to respond to others when you feel like you have nothing left to give. so, how are you holding up holding her up?

[mdmc]

12. Not too bad, actually.

She supported me when I thought I was gonna die (I had undiagnosed, untreated Rheumatoid Arthritis - I couldn't move!).

It is hard cause I work with Schizophrenics for a living. I have to be very patient and have a high tolerance for mental illness. It is hard dealing with mental illness all day, only to go home and have it worse.

Also, my girlfriend's little sisters have been in trouble lately. The middle one had an alcohol induced MH hospitalization. Her younger sister has been in MH hospitalization for weeks now due to cutting.

It is a lot, but thank you kindly for asking. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have asked for membership in www.clearwater.org , www.guthriecenter.com , SPARC (Stewart Park and Reserve Coalition), and NAMI http://naminys.org/af-orange.htm . Better gifts then Chinese made junk.

Peace and low stress,
mdmc

[mopinko]

13. you deserve a nice birthday

you are a good person. i hope something nice happens for you. be sure to enjoy your day.

[mdmc]

14. thanks

DU'er moochie hooked me up with a DU star so I can post here again.
We had another bad day yesterday.
But thank you for your kind thoughts.

[mopinko]

15. did you get what you wanted?

sorry it went badly. having a relationship in the midst of unstable neurochemistry is a herculean task. kudos to you for still working it.

peace

[mdmc]

16. peace

:)

Every bad day I look at this thread and it helps me. Hopefully it will help others as well.
ps-
I got everything I wanted for my birthday.

[mopinko]

17. oh, i am so glad you got what you wanted.

i am also happy if this thread has lightened your load a little. that is what community is for.
just looking back on it now, i am reminded what a weight you are carrying. try to be strong. so many folks are counting on you.
my daughter was cutting for a while. such a curious behavior. and so painful to see. i will never forget the first time i saw my daughter's cuts. i remember thinking of what dorothy parker once said- what fresh hell is this? just when i thought things could not be worse with her, i found out is was just the beginning.
peace to you friend. in this precarious world, i am honored to give you a moments peace.

[mdmc]

18. Today is another one

My girl is not feeling well.
I have a homeless client.
My B-in-L is sick too.

Rain. Pour.

[mopinko]

19. well, if it makes you feel any better, i will tell you about my day-

pretty good. i have been having some luck with my buttons. a local old hippie hang out finally took them, and they are flying out the door. they sold almost 300 in 2 weeks! sold them another 200 last week. this caused me to think about another place that took a few a pretty long time ago. so, i dropped them a note, and today they took 45. also nudged me to do some new ones, which i still have to get up on the website. i will drop a link when i get them up. but getting ready for the ge.
plus, i have been accepted into another group show,
http://womanmade.org/show.html?type=group&gallery=members2008&pic=1
(here is the last one-http://womanmade.org/show.html?type=group&gallery=international2008&pic=1)

and! i am talking to a writer who wants to do a piece on my ceramic work for a midwestern print/online art magazine!

i still fear that my body will give out one of these days, and crash it all. and still have some pain left over from the cervical disks, which i am getting pretty bored with. but i am in a spot where good is leveraging good. i think that happens more often than we notice. have had some interpersonal bs, but it didn't seem to weigh quite so much as it used to.
lyrica is helping the pain pretty well, i think. and ambien is helpful. tossing and turning when shit starts to go the wrong way is a spiral in the other direction, and i am so happy not only not to have it, but not to worry about it.

or did you want me to tell you the bad part?

[mdmc]

20. thanks for sharing.

sounds like some good stuff.

[mdmc]

21. Today my friends has been hard

My girlfriend required in-patient care today.
Plus the other stressors (work, family, debt, complicit dems).
Plus work deserves another mention.
Hospitalization.
God help us.

[mdmc]

22. this was posted in reply to my lounge thread

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just got back from checking my girlfriend in to in-patient care. Everyone I know it seems is having it rough right now. In some ways (not really, but yet in some ways) I feel that I have no one in my life to reach out to. I do have people, I just don't want to bother them with my drama cause they really don't bother me with theirs. And I don't want to stress the ol family out.
So I find DU to be very helpful and supportive. I am very glad for this place. Peace and God Bless.

[mdmc]

23. I left the porch light on for you

You will be coming home. The hospital is not forever. We will get our lives back. We will worry about co-pays, credit cards, gas, rent, and our jobs at some other time. Please feel better and return to me soon. :hug:

[mopinko]

24. you are on a long journey together.

she will be back by your side soon. :hug: to you both.
peace.

[mdmc]

25. She is back now.

Our situation is a mad mess. She can't work and has enormous bills to pay. I can't work my two human service jobs and care for her (she seems to have major depression / bi-polar / anxiety / possible agoraphobia).

Anywho... What can you do? We gotta keep on keepin on. Peace and low stress mopinko. God Bless.

[mopinko]

26. i saw your thread about your debts.

it was so long, i thought i would reply here.
i know nothing about the bankruptcy laws, but it seems to me that if anyone could and should use it, it is the 2 of you. bpd people have so much trouble with money. and jobs. you deserve to have a fresh start. i have no idea how doable that is for you, but for pete's sake. what else can you do?

peace to you, too, friend. :hug:

[Mnemosyne]

29. mopinko, you give

great heart! :hug:

[mopinko]

31. i am giving back what was given to me here.

folks here have helped my through some pretty dark moments. it is small enough to have a few kind words for someone. i just wish i could do more for people. (i guess that is how i ended up wit 5 kids and a house full of critters.)

[Mnemosyne]

32. I haven't posted much here yet, has been really hard for me

to trust others with myself. When you can't trust your mother from an early age it can happen so easily.

Reading others trials and tribulations is helping me feel less alone and more willing to share. I'm working on it! :) I'll try to get a post up soon about that episode. PPP is fairly rare and extremely frightening to watch. Andrea Yates was on my mind hard for awhile. That poor, poor woman.

5 kids! Whoa! And you are still fairly sane? With hair? You have lots of critters? Those kids can be real lifesavers some days, I know. I have three kitties, all nuts! Himalayans are different creatures! Not sure they are real cats even. :)

I have one kid, my daughter, age 29, whom suffers from PTSD. My heart goes out to you dealing with BPD. My mother seems to be, according to my therapist, a borderline/narcissistic pd. She is obsessed with telling my poor daughter any negative hurtful thing she can think of to say, which sets off DD's PTSD. Wheeee!

And around and around we go, eh?!

Listening and being there is often the best gift you can give to a suffering soul. You do much more than you know. Paying it forward works so nicely. :hug:

[blondie58]

27. I am sorry, mdmc- hope it gets better soon

peace and low stress vibes sent your way- you don't need to get sick, too.

O8)

[Mnemosyne]

28. mdmc, sure hope things are easing up a little at least. I've been dealing with

little sister's post-partum psychosis since Jan., not easy when the stress sets off my mania, of course taking care of her three kids, ages 11, 13 and less than a year old may contribute a smidgen.

You are both in my 'prayers'. Hang in there, :hug:

[mopinko]

30. holy cow.

just holy cow. want to post more about that, or did i miss it?

[Mnemosyne]

33. Working on putting it to screen soon. A question, please.

Do I need to make a post asking for shelter here in this forum before I post much, or just start hanging out and just do it?

I am a social rules dyslexic, I think. Not very good at social, even online. I'm not good at 'small talk' too often; it's one reason I love DU. People are sharing experience, knowledge, AND laughing all in one place!

Some days you just get lucky...

Has mdmc been heard from since last post in the thread? Tough times. Hope all is well.

Sleepy time near for me. Have a good night and thank you dearly for making me feel welcome here, mopinko. :hug:

[blondie58]

34. yeah, du is a wonderful place and I must admit, I am a little

addicted to it. But I have learned so much on here. This post is pretty old, vickiss. But here is another posting by mdmc had recently - http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3677806

It is almost amusing and a bit maddening to read some of the replies to his query. If I didn't know better, I would think that I was on a freeper board. The people who suggest that he dump his girlfriend that he loves and get out before it is too late. The people who suggest that they get another job, even though he is already working two jobs. And part of the problem is that his girlfriend has been sick and can not work right now.

To be fair, there were some very helpful responses, I think, but the level of nontolerance was shocking to me.

[mopinko]

35. sometimes it is amazing what people say.

i tell myself over and over- the internet is a magnet for unbalanced people. maybe it is an improvement for humanity that so many can join up online, and spew to each other. maybe they would be worse in meatspace.
but much good comes of this world here. i think.

[Mnemosyne]

37. I read that thread, blondie, and was so livid at some of the replies, had

to jump out before I ended up TS'ed from my reply.

It never ceases to astound me when an execution is taking place and too many reply with, "Good". I just can't think that way. Even with the men/boys that attacked my daughter years ago, first reaction I admit was to kill them, then I realized that they have serious problems and will reap what they've sown someday.

Thanks for the welcome and advice! :hi:

[mopinko]

36. dive right in, honey.

do be prepared for the fact that people have been followed here. by family members, and by kooks. it has happened. to me. but i don't let it bother me. i am open about my identity, and people can very easily find me through the google. i don't think too many posters here are easy to find.
sounds like you have quite a story to tell.

and re-5 kids- i think i am relatively sane now, but i did have my moments, i can tell you.

[Mnemosyne]

38. My puking fundy sisters would never give me their e-mail addresses, nor their

phone numbers, which is strange because they are the harassers, not me. :shrug: Probably afraid of hearing any truth still.

It has been a very strange and interesting life. I'm not sure I believe half my life myself some days. :)

"did have my moments", I hear ya'! :hug:

Back when I have time again. :hi:

[mdmc]

39. Thanks for checking in

for the record, my girlfriend is a fundie. Yesterday she told me she "spoke in tongues".

Just when you think you have seen it all...

[Mnemosyne]

40. I didn't mean to

insult your love, mdmc! The religiously insane of my life just have made my life a living hell at times.

Hope all is better, even a little. Hang in there! :hug:

[mdmc]

42. I think we (you and I) feel the same way

I attended her church twice. I am not "broken" enough to belong there. It looks like some cult.

[Mnemosyne]

44. They ingrain that stuff at the weakest points in folk's lives; if they can't

grab them in childhood. I feel it is abusive and cruel.

Unfortunately, some feel so lost and empty when depressed, it's very easy to suck them in. Shame and guilt are powerful tools for these churches.:grr:

I'll be thinking about you. :hug:

[AZBlue]

41. mdmc - I'm so sorry to hear about her struggles

Depression alone is hard enough (I know from personal experience) and to top that with other challenges seems so unfair. You are a wonderful person for staying with her - many others would have unfairly judged her and walked away from the situation. I've always enjoyed your posts on DU and could tell right away that you were a good person - now I know I was right.

Could she qualify for disability? I know a young man who is schizophrenic and is able to receive disability support, which really helps with all the accompanying stressors (bills, medical coverage, low or no income, etc).

Hang in there! :hug:

[mdmc]

43. thanks for checking in

:hug:

[mdmc]

45. Now the insurance company is denying my girlfriends

claim!

Her insurance company has denied her hospitalization claim. They say that she did not receive pre-authorization for her inpatient care. :mad:

[mdmc]

46. and here we go again

my girlfriend was sent home from work because her boss wants a doctors note clearing her for employment.
we are broke.
and I have been having anal bleeding and am in a lot of pain.

I hope to God that I have colon cancer so I can die sooner rather then later.

I'm such a ray of sunshine.

[mdmc]

47. here we go again

:(
Now my girlfriend is unemployed. And frankly, I am pretty unhappy.

[mopinko]

48. fuck

there is just not much i can think to say but- fuck.
and :hug:

[mdmc]

49. we had the cops and mobile mental health evaluators here today

They didn't take her to the psych ward, but I did have to call out sick for my part time job.
Just par for the course.
Thanks for the :hug: :)

[mopinko]

50. egad. more fuck.

i am tempted to say more, but i will just say that you need to take care of yourself. first.
it is about the hardest thing to do, i think. but you must, and you deserve it.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[mdmc]

51. I hear that my friend

currently listening to puke from too much drinking. mercy. thanks for checking in. Peace and low stress. God bless. :hug:
I'm getting to a point where I have to think about taking care of myself. And that is the hardest thing to do.

[mopinko]

52. you deserve to think of yourself

all us soft hearted people end up in this spot from time to time. or maybe all us with hearts at all.
imho, it is the quintessential human dilemma. we are social animals. not really complete without our connections to others. at the same time, we are self aware animals. not really healthy unless we feel safe and secure in ourselves.
we all wrestle with this to one degree or another.
peace.

[mdmc]

53. The cartoon character Opus will be ending soon

http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/

I don't know why this makes me so sad, but it really does.

While I'm kicking up this old thread-
an ex girlfriend's mother died recently - I saw the obit today. It was another reminder of what is in store for us all. I will eventually lose my parents. Eventually I will go too.
-
and
my girlfriend is still unemployed. Of course we have no savings. And now we can't make ends meet. I am hatin life.
and
what if Obama doesn't win? I keep telling myself that America gets what it deserves. WHAT IF? I am not sure I can take much more...

Sometimes I like to sneak away and cry. I can cry pretty easily if I want to - if I am alone and no one can hear. All I do is think of JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, or John Lennon. I remember the loss of these great men, and I cry. Perhaps it helps...

[mdmc]

54. Today

I took off work so we could go to a lap band seminar down in NYC.
This is the only place in NY that my insurance covers.
I put her on my insurance.
We went.
Then all the way home it was nothing but "when are we gonna get married?"
No thanks for taking off from work..the insurance..spending the day listening to lap band info..
nope..
just more borderline bs.
:(

[EFerrari]

55. I had to look up what a lap band seminar was.

You put some time in today, didn't you?

[mdmc]

56. the day was nice

it was the end that was hard.
now I'm just tryin to unwind before going to bed.
how are things on your end?

[EFerrari]

57. Okay. I have one in the hospital and we're trying to help the coming transition

go smoothly as possible. Everyone I've talked to so far has been really nice. Surprising. :)

[mdmc]

58. I'm fighting off some bad depression

yuck.I feel...bad..

[mdmc]

59. Things are still tough

:(
hangin in there!

[Mnemosyne]

60. Still here to listen if you need.

Sorry things are still going rough. :hug:

Are you still in the job that tests? :smoke: If so, my heart goes out to you even more. Best med in the world and I wouldn't have survived, literally, without that help. The paranoia sucks though. :(

Sometimes as much as we love someone, there may come a time we have to let go for our own sanity. My ex- is in Florida in a methadone program now and actually working. It has been very hard to recover from 12 years of his illness and addiction. It took me 6 years after deciding to actually leave.

I've been alone for 4 1/2 now. Sometimes I miss him terribly, but I never will miss the stress.

If I can help somehow, however small, please let me know. :hug::hi:

[mdmc]

61. Now I am back here...

You got to love the good times, cause bad times are right around the corner..

[Myrina]

62. I hear ya' mdmc ...

... I haven't stopped weeping for about a week.
Have to force myself to get out of bed, shower and go job hunting every day, knowing it'll be "sorry" after "sorry".
I feel nothing.

I hate this. :(

[mdmc]

63. sorry after sorry

ain't it the truth in this economy..
At least we have Obama in the White House. It could be worse.
Hang in there my friend.

[Forkboy]

64. Job hunting will destroy the strongest of people these days.

I gave up after two years and 300+ applications filled out and only 3 interviews to show for it. Sorry after sorry is the damn truth. And of course the longer without work one goes the more everything else in their life starts to suffer, from relationships to sleep habits to health in general. And worst of all, the depression you're feeling can be crippling, adding yet another burden.

I hope things look up for you soon. Don't hesitate to come down here and vent in the meantime. :hug:

[mdmc]

65. Need to get my vent ON!

:)
I feel like shiite. Life is beatin me down somethin fierce. Gotta keep that chin up!
Everything is a mess!
GOD HELP ME!

[mopinko]

66. oh man.

sssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiitttt. whassamatter?

[mdmc]

67. hey mopinko - having another bad day today

we are moving - just around the corner, but it is very stressful.
moving from a 2 bed, 2 bath townhouse with river views
into a 1 bed, 1 bath apartment.

I need to get rid of so much stuff - it is very frustrating..

[laylah]

68. the hardest move i EVER made

was one just across the street. SO disorganized from all the others. Breathe, point, and pitch :hug:

[mopinko]

69. just let it go, my friend.

wondered how you were doing after your race. hope it wasn't too bruising.
are you working? is your gf working? how are the two of you feeling?

find a good non-profit that wants your stuff, and pitch away. this is the gift of my 50's. i see all the stuff i have accumulated, and either wonder what i was thinking, or rejoice that i don't need it any more. admit that it mostly allows me to acquire more stuff. but at least it is stuff for what i am doing now, and stuff for me, and not for the kids.

you can only do what you can do. take care. vent away.

[mdmc]

70. We gave over 40 bags of clothing and house hold goods

to the "Helping Hands Alliance of Newburgh"..

We also threw out about 40 garbage bags full of stuff.

I was unable to secure a spot on the democratic primary line. I am still on the general election ballot on the Working Families Party line. Doubt I will win, but I am in it for the long haul - Nov. 3rd, 2009..
If I don't win I will run again in 2011. I will be well prepared for that race.

I'm still working f/t. My girlfriend is still not working and trying to get disability.
:shrug:

[mdmc]

71. I know when I am having a hard time

It is very easy for me to identify when my symptoms, specifically depression, are getting the best of me. It starts with a craving for death, an idea creeps into my head that I wouldn't mind dyin. Then I start thinking that everyone and everything dies. Then I think "if I had my choice I would die today."
I don't support suicide as a solution. I would never kill myself. But I have these thoughts when I'm not doing too good.

[mdmc]

72. my girlfriend's car just got repossessed

just another one of life's little stresses.. :woohoo:

[mdmc]

73. what is this?

I think it is depression, or burnout, or something..
I just can't focus..
I can't get any work done.
I know I need to do stuff.
I just can't get it together.
I am a procrastinator, but now it is way past procrastination time.
I just feel so.. stuck.. unable..
I can make telephone calls.. even do some very difficult crisis counseling and problem solving..
But I need to generate some simple documents.. and file some completed paperwork.. and process some reports..
AND I CAN'T!

I am very scared. I like my job and love to help people..
I just can't seem to get it done. I cant seem to start..
I just can't.

Anyone know?
found a xanax to take and will do so now.. perhaps some movement forward will help..
ugh. I have to do laundry tonight too!

(I think it may be a poor balancing act. I've been real good to my PTSD girlfriend, but unable to do my job good (or be competitive in my political race). I feel like I have caregiver deficiency (or whatever the term is for someone that cares for a mentally ill person).

I also hate my lame anti-depressant remeron.. God that shit sucks and seems to do only one thing - make me droopy in the morning...

Rant end.

[Forkboy]

74. I can be exactly the same way with putting things off.

But when I'm manic it's just the opposite. I can't do enough or get enough input for my brain to process. This is why so many bipolar people say they enjoy being manic oftentimes. The flipside of it sucks, and when you add that depression that you're dealing with to it it's horrible. I hate feeling like you are right now, and for many of the same reasons. For whatever reason just doing the simplest tasks seems monumental. A counselor once told me to make a list of the things I need to do and then just tackle them one by one, but even making the damn list seems hard to do. Yet doing something like posting on DU doesn't, which makes zero friggin' sense. x(

It's a sucky feeling to feel like your own brain isn't even on your side.

As for the anti-depressants, I tried 5 of them and every one made things worse. I'll never take another again. I know they can be a great help for many people, but I wasn't one of them.

Hope you feel better soon. :hug:

[mdmc]

75. thanks for the reply

I got the to-do list down.
I've even emailed some docs to myself so I can work at night or whatever..
I'm just ..not there..
So odd.
anyway peace and low stress and thanks for the reply. It really helps..

[Forkboy]

76. It's almost like being outside of your body at times.

That "not there" feeling gets me a lot. After a manic phase, which can be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks, I almost always have a few days where I'm just mush. I have no train of thought, and hardly think of anything at all. It's like my brain just shuts down. I need a middle ground between my brain trying to process a million thoughts at once or not processing anything.

Ah, the joys of mental illness, eh? :)

Take care today.

[mdmc]

77. hey!

I did two things..

I've actually been able to do the talking, I just can't file paperwork or generate paperwork..

So now I am just checking up on the phone.. able to do it w.o stress...

thanks again.. I was real stuck and now am at least doing so low priority outreach (and some heavy crisis counseling via telephone).. BREAKTHROUGH, such as it is.

Thanks again! Your replies really helped and I appreciate that.

[Forkboy]

78. Then I've done something today as well.

Glad I could help. :)

[mopinko]

79. it DU

seriously, sorry to hear you are having troubles, my friend. be kind to yourself.

[mdmc]

80. thank you and ditto

:pals:

[AuntPatsy]

81. Welcome to a fellow procrastinator though if it is work related i can usually get it done but when i...

is for my benefit..well...tommorow is as good as today...'=_ You will get it done...it is kind of funny...what I do sometimes is get up and begin a small bit of organizing and before you know it...I am on a roll and cannot stop...sometimes all you need to do is turn off the pc..don't even look at it..pick up a phone..call an old friend or relative..begin talking...


before you know it..you are just walking around with the phone in hand laughing about some old antics and you look down..two hours have past and your work has been half way done...amazed..you were not even aware you were working at the same time you were talking...

but don't worry if you still have a bit more to go.....be thankful that you at least begun...sometimes all you need is a beginning in order to reach the end..

the mind is a terrible thing to waste...time is even more precious...

now turn off the pc...and call an old friend..

[mdmc]

82. thank you for the reply

it was very helpful and I am once again on a roll.

It is hard cause I work in MH. Dealing with other's issues when you have your own bag full is a tough pill to swallow..

[Cetacea]

88. You are probably familiar with this

but sometimes it helps when coming from another person:
http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/conditions/item.php?uniqueid=5645&categoryid=261

[mdmc]

83. Today my friends I am in some kind of funk

It is days like this that are so hard.
There is no reason for the funk..
my pain level is not high; in fact I feel pretty good pain wise..

[mopinko]

84. in a funk myself.

got tired of silly political bs with an organization that i gave a lot of time to, and told them to stuff it. now i face this big whole, which is not filled with the many folks that i truly loved, but who are now over there on that other side.
blech.

[EFerrari]

85. Those are the hardest days.

I hope today is a better one. :hug:

I'm mostly numb lately and at times can be somewhat productive. Tonight I'm going to cook my mom a simple nice dinner. Doing homely things is soothing for some reason. Maybe because it's a mini vacation.

I love you guys. :loveya:

[Mnemosyne]

86. Still listening, though rarely find much time to post these days,

know that you are treasured. :hug:

[Forkboy]

87. I'd like to echo that.

I don't post much, especially when things aren't going so good for me. So, needless to say, I haven't posted much lately. But you are thought about. I mean that.

[mdmc]

89. 4-19-2010

Always a hard day.
If anyone reads this, please keep my ex-girlfriend in your thoughts and prayers. And me as well. Peace and low stress..

[mopinko]

90. peace friend

to you both

[mdmc]

91. peace

My God..I feel like utter utter shit today..
Good God..

[mopinko]

92. sigh. having a painful day myself.

spasms in my back and rib cage, and a sore wrist. caused by nothing. just there. just always there.
such shit, living with pain.

[mdmc]

93. it rained the last few days.. Sunday I was ok

I love the rain and didn't realize how much it hurt my RA. Mon n Today have been pain central..
I'm feeling better. Hope you do soon too..

[mopinko]

94. better today

nothing but the usual low leve aches and pains right now. funny how after a while you adapt. i have done the whole m.d. thing, and aside from some decent drugs, find there is nothing they can do. but also find that nothing that is happening now is going to, as my doc so delicately puts it, take my life. the alarm bells that pain sets off in your head do sort of wear out eventually. without that, it is much easier to slog along.

hope things get better for you, friend. your other post said ex-girlfriend. is this the one that has been living with you or a different ex? transitions always take a lot of work. good luck to you.

[mdmc]

95. my ex wouldn't let me go, lol

so we are still together and trying to work things out..

I also was recruited for a job! I've never been recruited before - it has been very amazing to be sought out for employment..

So things are going better here too..

[mopinko]

96. that's awesome.

why people stick together is a mystery to me. i don't know how dh and i have made it through 28 years. the little anchors are part of it, but certainly not all. i just don't know.

good luck on the job. keep in touch.

[HereSince1628]

97. Yep, some days all tomorrows hold very little promise

of even a few hours of satisfaction.

[HereSince1628]

98. Some nights, too. n/t

[mdmc]

99. sho'nough

:pals: