my horror story.

[Sirveri]

I used to be in the Navy as a nuclear mechanical operator. You might not understand all the terms, but you should get a pretty good idea as to what happens.

As a nuke, if you seek pysch help there is a risk that you will be de-nuked. Denuking involves: lose your job, be reassigned (possibly to Iraq), and possibly be required to pay back your enlistment bonus. If you require medication you WILL be de-nuked.

I had a weight problem prior to entry, which resurfaced after I went to an 80+ hour a week work schedule (this is prior to fleet, where hours increased).

Due to my weight problem I experienced what can only be described as hazing at nuclear prototype. I was put on a crew filled with body builders, and when I said it was unreasonable for me to do 200 push ups in a row I saw the difficulty of my qualification checkouts increase four fold. If I alerted anyone there was a chance that I would be accussed of making a false statement, and face a drop from the nuclear program and subsequent black listing if it did go anywhere.

When I got to the boat I had loaded M9 berrettas pointed at me because people thought it was 'funny'. I was also told by the senior mechanic that he wanted to break me. When we recieved a new chief he was a 'by the books' type person who would scream at the top of his lungs an inch from your face. I managed to make E-5 off the exam scoring a 99 percentile, yet was unable to put it on due to weight issues and being given no time to work out.

I went on a ride on another boat. The crew there treated me with respect, and I excelled. When I returned I was put delinquent in qualifications on watch stations I could not stand for at least another 4 months because that's the way it was 'in the books'. It all came to a head and I was sent to captains mast (sort of like going to court for a misdemeanor). The reason was failure to stand at parade rest. It was around this time I started becomming suicidal. I told the XO that I was having a nervous breakdown and needed help. Before my mast I told our medic that I was suicidal.

I was sent to the hospital, they decided I was simply doing it to get out of mast. I went to mast, I was reduced in rank and sent to the brig's correctional custody unit. During my physical prior to entry I was not cleared due to dehydration, which was caused by my vomiting all day long (not self inflicted). They gave me saline and brought me back the next day and cleared me. Due to a variety of issues with clothing and ID I wasn't able to be processed in on that day either. I also had not eaten for two days at this point. On day three before I left the boat I watched our chief (E-7) scream at our leading 1st class(E-6) and start slamming his fist into the bathroom door. He hit the door so hard he broke out a panel. This would be the third day of my 'fast'. During my time in the CCU I barely ate anything, if I ate anything at all. At the thought of going back to the boat I wrote my note.

I was found on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night attempting to drink bleach.

I then spent 14 days in the mental ward of the nearby naval hospital. When it was obvious that I wasn't 'cheering up' they perscribed anti-depressants. I was then summarily drummed out of the military and given a 90 day supply of meds. This was in march. The day before I was discharged I was dragged into an office by a group of chiefs and screamed at for almost an hour.

Unable to find a job, me and my wife decide to relocate back home close to family. Mid August I manage to finally get into a VA office to apply for assistance. Sept 5 we complete our cross country move from Norfolk. Sept 16 I mail reimbursement paper work.

I apply for Unemployment(UI) on Sept 5.

I have yet to get a dime in UI due to them not notifying me of their need for a DD214.
I have yet to get a dime from the navy for my moving expenses.
I HAVE recieved a bill from the Navy for 3000 dollars related to my enlistment bonus.
I have yet to recieve anything from the VA about my comp & pension application.

Today I blew up when I got the mail and once again I had no UI and now my wife refuses to speak to me because I happened to be shouting in the same room (not at her, and I never touched her nor wanted to touch her). Our non-retirement savings are completly gone. Our one 500 dollar credit card is nearly maxed out. We had to borrow money from her grandmother to make rent this month. Our retirement savings are primarily in the market, I have no idea what they're at right now (I estimate 6000$). I am owed apx 7000 dollars by the government, and they refuse to pay me in a timely manner. I'm not suicidal, but I'm seriously screwed and would love some helpfull advice.

[Forkboy]

1. Wow...that's a lot of stress.

I'm not sure I can really help much, but I tried to find some info that maybe can help out.

Use the VA for everything you can get from them, if you're not already. They've helped my father immensely in both housing help, and health care, both mental and physical. Keep hounding them for everything you deserve. You have to stay on the asses of all these people. Don't wait for them to come to you, because they take forever...as you're sadly finding out. Here's a link to pro bono legal help for veterans. I don't know if this'll help, but it might be worth looking into.

http://www.vetsprobono.org/newsite/links.htm
http://www.vetsprobono.org/exec.htm

Link to VA services

http://www.va.gov/

Take advantage of food stamps. Even if you only get a small amount, it's a big help. They saved my life until my SSI case was decided.

http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/foodstamps/

I'm not sure where in Cal you are, but look into your state's Department of Transitional Assistance. A few years back I checked myself into a hospital instead of killing myself, and they set me up with both health care and emergency aid. The emergency aid was only $303 a month, but that kept me alive for two years until the SSI went through. It may be more out there in Cal. They'll also be the ones you'll need to deal with for food stamps, most likely (that's how it was here in Mass). They can also help with fuel assistance if needed in the winter.

http://hss.co.san-bernardino.ca.us/HSS/tad/address.asp

You say you're not suicidal, but you're clearly depressed, and had at least one suicide attempt before. Don't wait for the stress and depression to build up to where a second try sounds good. And even if you don't feel that could happen, it might. Look into counselors and/or a psychiatrist (the VA can help with this, but you can also find them on your own. Many take payments on a sliding scale. I'd try the VA first though, as that should be covered). This can help in any program you need to receive help from, though it'll be a longer term thing that may not help immediately. But it's good to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. If there is an underlying problem with depression or something else Section 8 may come into play, and that's a big help.

Also, look into any state or local housing assistance programs. Some can help with rent, or finding a new place, etc.

If you're worried about eviction, make sure you know your rights as a tenant before letting a landlord boot you out.

http://www.hud.gov/local/ca/renting/tenantrights.cfm

Lastly, look into either receiving SSI or SSDI (this is where the psychiatrist/counselor stuff comes in handy...that's what got me the SSI). Contact your Social Security office.

http://www.californiasocialsecurity.com/


I wish I could offer something more concrete and immediate. Sadly, I'm not an expert on any of this, and have just been muddling my way through all of it one step at a time. If you have any questions I'll do my best to answer them.

Best of luck to you.

[EFerrari]

2. No wonder you blew up -- that's a ton of pressure.

Who is your Congress critter? Might there be someone there that can help advocate for you with the government?

[mdmc]

3. perhaps your congressperson can help you

God willing

[mopinko]

4. our warmest, biggest hugs go out to you.

it break the heart of everyone here to hear of the damage done by the war machine to all concerned. the others in you story at not that lucky, either. their ability to be humans, with hearts, has been stripped away as well.
i hope that you can find peace. i hope we all can.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Sirveri]

5. I never would have enlisted if I kept my GOOD job.

I used to be an architectual drafter, then the tech bubble burst and the outsourcing started. When I found myself looking for work as a cashier getting hired then getting fired a week before my health insurance would have kicked in it really made me question my masculinity and myself as a person. Right now though a lot of good things have happened lately, so I'm hopeful about the future. Got a job interview for a high paying job thanks to my navy training. So it wasn't all bad. But the military definately needs some serious reform on the nuclear engineering front. All the technicians are horribly over worked doing meanial and pointless tasks. And I've seen it showing on ALL fronts. excessive drinking, domestic violence, self harm. I made a choice to bail, and it was definately the correct one.