Well, my friends, the holiday season has started. Can we check in please?

[EFerrari]

Do you have a plan? I've been trying to tack mine down a little.



This year, I don't think I'll be going to family things and my finances are still on the scary side. The 10 Ft Depression is a little better but I don't want to take him out in public yet or he may pitch fits when we get back home and that would mean babysitting him while he settles down again. :silly:

On the other hand, trying to ignore the holidays doesn't work for me because deep down, I love them. So, the problem is finding the middle ground where you don't have to cook dinner for the whole family but don't try to pretend it's April or something.

Any ideas? I'm thinking that I'll plan a special meal and maybe make something to share with a few neighbors -- like cookies or a special dip or homemade pasta sauce. Nothing to hyperventilate about, something simple.


Making a point of checking in with you guys. Maybe we could have a little New Year's Eve thread?

Coming up with a gift for the son that's in touch -- something like handing over his photographs in an album or even in a shoe box for him to sort out for himself.

It feels hard to jump start this but if I don't, it'll sneak up on me.

Whaddya you all think?

[TZ]

1. I'm going to visit a friend in NJ for Thanksgiving

and I'm sooo happy about not dealing with the family (I had some dealings with some of them but I can't even go into details cause I think I'm still being "monitored"-and I don't care if they know I knowx( )
I think around xmas time I'll do something with my mother because I know she will be hurt if I don't come to her house. Otherwise..meh.
I've missed you guys....:hi:

[EFerrari]

2. Good to see you and sounds like a good plan!

:loveya:

:hi:

[elleng]

3. My life has changed COMPLETELY

since I had to face all the holiday stuff, so I feel OK. Hope my daughters (ages 20 + 23) will be OK, as they're in process of establishing themselves but they do have their father to think about; he's a holiday fanatic.

Hope I can afford OK gifts for 'kids.' Thats all, folks.

Best to you!

[EFerrari]

4. Hi there, elleng. That sounds promising.

:hi:

[elleng]

5. Hi, sfexpat!

But I had a DREAM! Really comical, as I think about it! Back in 'old' house with 'old' issues, modified as dreams do! So less than enthused today!

Sure hope girls call!

[fizzgig]

6. we're planning a 'friendsgivinghanumas'

sometime between thanksgiving and christmas, a bunch of us will be getting together for a big mishmash of a meal and probably a small gift exchange.

my dad, sister and i always have extra people over for thanksgiving and christmas dinners because we know a number of people who either don't have family in the area or don't speak with their families. of course, it always stresses me out a bit trying to plan and coordinate dinners for larger groups of people, but i'm glad to to it.

money is going to be a a bigger stressor for me this year. my budget is so much tighter than it's been in years past, so there will be a lot of handmade and little presents. but the upside is that i know that my friends and family won't care, for us it's about the meals and being together, not the gifts.

other than money and trying to cook holiday meals for a large number of people, the holidays are actually a pretty non-stressful time for me. i am sad, though, that i won't get to see my mom this year.

[Forkboy]

7. I'm trying not to think about it.

Now that Halloween is gone the only good holiday is over. :(

I doubt I'll do anything this year. I went to Maine last Thanksgiving to spend it with another DUer (YAY!!!) and had a great time, but it'll be nice to just chill at home and watch some football, maybe smoke a fatty boobalatty. The last couple of months have been hectic so I just want to chill. My friend downstairs will probably make a killer meatloaf or something (he just made tuna casserole this weekend and it was scrummy!).

For Christmas I'm hoping to be dead. I hate December. x(

I hope your holidays go smoothly, and that you have a good time no matter what you end up doing. :hug:

[EFerrari]

16. Thank you, Forkboy! Come and check the NYE thread, willya?

:hug:

[mopinko]

8. thinking of having a "lefty christmas". fuck the rest of them.

i got an email from my favorite nephew on monday. he had been trying to convert his 3 siblings, who somehow ended up being prolife nutjobs. he confessed that he had helped a woman abort his child. he went on to point out to them just how many children die of starvation every year, and how many innocent iraqis we have killed, etc. he went on to make an impassioned last ditch plea for barack. not sure what the response was, but my reaction was that i wish i could just get together with the sane members of my family, all ~2 of them, and let the other 30+ of them stay on my ignore list.
i post this here to say that i quit doing the whole holiday thing with them the year that my daughter was hospitalized. we spent the whole month of december coping with her situation, and driving almost an hour and a half each twice a day so she could be in a day program. i have never been so tired. and i had absolutely zero desire to inform/discuss this with them. i just couldn't face it. they were pissed at me that i said i was coming, then just didn't show up. they had leftover food then, you see, because they were going to feed my horde, see.
i have always been the black sheep. for such unforgivable sins as not shaving the hair they found offensive, but cutting the hair that they did approve of too short. and of course, refusing to shut up.

what the hell is the point of getting together for the holidays if it makes you miserable?

[TZ]

11. "what the hell is the point of getting together for the holidays if it makes you miserable?"

:thumbsup: :hi:

[easttexaslefty]

9. I'm dreading the holidays

For thanksgiving, we are going to our friend Megan's house. We met her in our Survivors of suicide group last year. She lost her husband to suicide. I just don't want to go to my husbands family gathering...they will have their kids all there, happy and together. Just to hard for me.

[redqueen]

13. ...

:pals:

I really admire your strength, M. You are an inspiration to me.

[EFerrari]

14. That sounds like a good plan to me.

:pals:

[mdmc]

10. lets have a New Years Eve thread!

This year is gonna be rough... so rough in fact that I have applied for a wal-mart card. They have a promotion - 0% financing on one purchase of over $250 - if their card is used. I will be buying lots of canned goods to help the old food budget.

I have never shopped at Walmart in my life - except when needed at work. Now I'll be dropping at least 250 there...

We are trying to have a "local" Christmas - no junk from China. I did most of my shopping at a local head shop...

[mopinko]

12. it look to me like many are thinking like you about chinese junk.

just an anecdote- i was a part of a pottery tour (i don't make pottery, but i do use clay) in a tourist town a couple of weeks ago. everyone was worried that the economic mess would affect sales. well, we think they did. we were just plain old fashioned swamped. it was the 7th year, and it was the best. (again, not me, i was off the beaten path, and our sales were slow. i did sell a few things, tho, which was good for me.)

so, hopefully it will be a good christmas for those few things still made in america, even if they cost a little more. i think the average price for a coffee cup was about $30.

as far as a new years thread, i think that is a great idea. we might have some people over here, but i can still peek in and say hi. i don't usually do new years with the family anyway. but it sure can be the hardest holiday when things are tough.

[EFerrari]

15. Okay, you're on.

It's going to be rough for the second year in a row around here and in my extended family. It will be magic to get through somehow. Maybe there's some free magic lying around somewhere. :)

[FirstLight]

17. Ack! My birthday is Jan 1st!

..fifteen seconds after midnight...so it is kind of hard to avoid the whole getting older thing. I hope that this year ahead will be looking brighter than it is now. Been losing hours because my main client can't afford me, and now the church I work for is cutting me to 10 hrs/week starting Jan. So between now & then I hope to have something show up!

meanwhile, for the first time in years, I am on my own for Thanksgiving (well, me & the kids...no parents or sister and her stuckup hubby and weird kids) So I am going to the Grocery Outlet for a Jennie-O roast with gravy for 3.99, I have some potatoes to mash, and I may make either a salad or some stuffed celery...
I may go so far as to put a tablecloth (like a nice sheet) on the table, and do some craft (I was thinking of a gratitude Turkey...cut out "feathers" in colors, write what we are thankful for and stick them in a pine cone with a turkey head on it ...something silly like that) The kids are 5,6,16 so I hope we can get through the evening without us all telling eachother to "shaddup!"

Christmas, well, I wish I could afford to just do $100 at kmart layaway...we'll see if the funds work out. It is just coming so fast, I just get rent paid and then the rest of the utilities and groceries eat the rest of the money!

So, yea...I will be trying to make it work, we may just make more of our stuff for family, and I may end up at the thrift store for the kids... who cares as long as they get to rip some paper at 6am!!!

[EFerrari]

18. A cousin of mine decompensated and was 5150'd in another county.

I'm not even sure what happened but it involved him, his brother's pitbull and a neighbor. He has been trying for a long time to get his brother to take proper care of that dog. My poor cousin is the most functional one of his immediate family, taking care of his elderly mom and trying to help his brother who lives with them. The mom and brother don't function very well although of the three, he can be the most acute. Oh dear.

Any way, the neighbor called the police and I'm just thankful no one got shot. Apparently, my cousin decomped and was paranoid and instead of retrieving the dog (who got out?) got into an argument with the neighbor and the police. It sounds as though he was quite psychotic and unable to interact, let alone deal with the situation.

The two nurses I've talked to were great. They helped me get a release from him. Today I talked to a social worker for an hour over the phone. The doctor is gone for the holiday. I was worried they'd dump him before he was stable but was told today that he'll probably be there for 10 days. Or, that's what they said today.

My mother used to deal with this. She can't really do that any more so, it's my turn and that's fine. Tomorrow I'll call over to his house and see how they're doing without him, and I'll try to call the hospital to leave a message for him.

Come on, January!

[elleng]

19. Peace.

.

[HopeFor2006]

20. I went out to dinner with two friends for Thanksgiving.

It was great. I just couldn't handle being in a crowd this year and having to pretend that everything is fine. A quiet celebration with friends was just right.

[EFerrari]

21. That's great. It's so nice to find something that works.

That false fronting thing can be exhausting and saddening, all by itself.

I stayed home but my son brought me a plate from the family meal and they extracted my promise to cook next year. That will be about right. We called each other and I had a good gossip with one of my cousins who is post op. My family is close and that's what I always remember from the holidays anyway, the conversations we have. :)

I must have watched 7 movies since Thursday! That's a record or something.