anyone here with histrionic personality disorder in the family?

[grasswire]

I think (after a lot of reading) that the wife of a close family member must have HPD. Reading about it was one of those "bingo" experiences. The more I read, the more it seemed to fit. The manifestations are maddening. She is driving people around her away. And this person is spending more and more time at my house. The encroachments and demands are impossible. I'm worried for her, for her husband, and for her toddler and unborn child.

Has anyone dealt with someone with this disorder?

[Dorian Gray]

1. So scary

One of my closest friends (somehow) has just been diagnosed with a combo of Borderline Personality Disorder, though there was a lot of back and forth with the therapist about whether it was Borderline or Histrionic. There is definitely some overlap in the behaviors.

I've just started reading up on it, and we are trying to get our friend to go get help from the treatment centers that her (now ex-) therapist recommended. After ending up in the hospital and years of erratic behavior, he has determined that he is hindering her process and she needs Dialectic Behavioral Therapy.

It's all very overwhelming and frightening as her friend. I've definitely wanted to walk away from the friendship many times throughout the years, but I've stuck in there (with a few breaks). People with these types of Personality Disorders are really difficult to treat and remain close with. Good luck, and I wish you the best.

[grasswire]

2. can you tell me what kind of behaviors are going on?

I don't see a lot of case studies on the Internet.

[Dorian Gray]

3. There are a lot

and they are very muddled.

There is substance abuse, cutting, sexually inappropriate (and damaging) behavior, putting self in dangerous situations with strangers, pulling family and friends into all her problems in order to solve them and/or frustrate them. She has a difficult time maintaining a relationship with her therapist (who has now quit), and friends and family relationships have been extraordinarily strained. There is little regard for the self (including physically, which is one of the few deviations from histrionic PD), and she is battling suicidal thoughts. She sleeps a lot, usually with the aid of tranquilizers and barbituates. She is jobless (despite a high intelligence and skillset in her chosen profession) and homeless (currently counting on the kindness of friends and family), moving apartments every four or five days. She is extremely open with her situation and with her behaviors, telling almost everyone who will listen. She has little impulse control. She thinks it... she does it. (Food, Sexually, drug, alcohol, shopping, etc.)

I think I've touched upon the majority of her behaviors.

[grasswire]

4. very sad -- I'm sorry

I posted a list of symptoms we are seeing in another spot:

1. unable to feed young child and self -- keeps no food in the house and relies on spouse to bring ready-made food; child is often faced with delayed meals.

2. unable to do most household chores; only some laundry

3. unable to shop for groceries or do errands alone ("panic attacks")

4. dependent on spouse for decisions large and small

5. anxiety episodes, with paranoia and obsessive thinking

6. must constantly know whereabouts of spouse and be in contact

7. can't be alone; will follow people from room to room, repetitive phone calls, calling out

8. grandiosity and sense of entitlement

9. irrational self-description

10. emotionally batters spouse through derision, belittling, name-calling

11. uses 2-year-old child to triangulate emotions and belittle caregiver

12. unusual affect -- vascilates between extremes of flat and excitable

13. embellishes to enhance her own "victim" status in daily happenings

14. embellishes for drama

15. poor social skills -- ignoring conversational cues, entering room with a "victim" story while ignoring the presence of others in the room

16. manipulations through claims of such things as "tunnel vision" and "lightheaded" and other ailments

17. demands special, expensive food and household purchases

18. unable to socialize the child; the child is allowed to act out in ways that the mother claims victimized her

19. some OCD -- repetitive hair grooming, etc.

[Dorian Gray]

5. Thank you

And have you been able to see a therapist. I don't know where you are located, but those that specialize in Dialectic Behavior Therapy are known to have some success with these types of disorders. And we must be careful with diagnosing family members ourselves, even if it seems that we have all the facets of their behavior down pat.

But I might consider calling or researching the National Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

They may be able to get you started with psychiatric resources if you don't have a foundation. People with these personality disorders are known within the therapy community as being extraordinarily difficult to treat, so they can help you with a general diagnosis and evaluation.

All my best. These types of personality traits are really difficult for family and friends to contend with. You have my sympathies.

[Odin2005]

6. My disabled friend who was raped a month ago has mild HPD.

And it's making her recovery after what happened to her all the more hard because people automatically assume that she's just looking for attention when she vents and complains.

I didn't even know she had HPD until very recently. She's extroverted, friendly, funny, touchy-feely and clingy, and likes to complain over little things a lot; but I don't get how one could call that a "personality disorder", the label reminds me of old-fashioned BS sexist notions of "hysterical women" more then anything.