argh

[mopinko]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4512806

[EFerrari]

1. How can a whole townful of people be so useless.

Is that the wrong reaction? lol

[mopinko]

2. i think the correct reaction is that the nurses who are blabbing this story

should be fired. and sued.

[Droopy]

5. I've been on a psychiatric unit before

And what happens in those places is supposed to stay in those places.

[EFerrari]

9. That's one part of it, for sure. n/t

[mopinko]

3. stop me before i post again.

sorry, that thread is bugging me, big time. i gotta stop. but jesus. these people must all believe in magic.

[Droopy]

4. That child needs exactly what the OP of that thread suggested

A kind adult that he can trust. Seeing as how his parents are neglecting him (and are probably at the root of the problem), he should be placed in foster care and given psychological and possibly psyhiatric treatment. I'm ignorant on how hospitals and the states take care of such matters. I'd take a kid like him in, but I am single and gone a lot for work so I don't think I'd be able to give him the attention that he needs.

[mopinko]

6. i completely understand your conclusion, and the good intentions of all.

but it does not absolutely follow that this child has been abused, that his parents neglected him, and certainly does not follow that he should be removed from the home. at 11, the correct course is always to try to treat the whole family unit.
whatever the problem, this is the kid's family. it will always be his family. they will have to deal with this, as well as the kid. removing children from their homes and families is never the best option, and should not be the knee jerk response. it causes damage and pain, even when it is "justified." it is being reevaluated by child protection agencies all over.
and again, i understand and appreciate the desire of so many to reach out to a kid in trouble. but i tell ya, if that was my family being discussed in this way, those nurses would rue the day.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

8. Sorry, just read this comment.

I agree with you entirely. Mental disorders are not always the fault of a family. When I was 17, I developed depression and memory problems (which later turned into bipolar), at least partially stemming from a concussion I got playing football. Every psych I've seen has asked me if I was sexually abused as a child. The answer has been, and always will be, a resounding no. Apparently memory loss is a symptom of sexual abuse and couldn't possibly be explained by a 300 pound linebacker slamming into you at full pace.

[EFerrari]

10. Doug's care providers got many, many reports of my bad behavior

and some of them lived to be humiliated by acting on those reports.

Bad boundaries, bad judgment, stupidity on skates. How many bipolar or borderline people does one have to treat before you know you are dealing with feelings or fears reported as facts?

Seriously.

[Droopy]

11. He's having suicidal thoughts, is in the hospital, and his parents aren't there

Sounds like neglect to me.

[mopinko]

12. but we have no idea why.

that was my problem. for all we know, dad is in iraq, and mom has cancer. who knows?
i think most parents try really hard, but don't always manage to do a good job. i know i have my failings, for all i want to be a perfect mom. maybe the parents have problems of their own.
maybe the kid is not getting what he needs. but selfishness and stupidity are only a couple of the possible reasons.

i just can't imagine what it would be like to be that family, all of them, finding that they are the subject of such speculation and contempt by complete strangers.

[Droopy]

13. I do agree with you in that this should be a private matter

Like I said upthread, what happens on psych wards is supposed to stay there whether you are a patient or a health care professional. That's the way it works where I've been anyway. But somebody has spilled the beans and now we do know something about this kid.

I think the boy is going to be okay and the proper decisions will be made whether it's his parents who are making them or a doctor and a social worker. Unfortunately, if it turns out that the parents are okay, I don't think they have any recourse regarding the leak of their son's health matters to the public unless they can actually prove who did it.

[mopinko]

14. fortunately most professionals these days

are leaning more toward trying to support the whole family, and not just yanking kids willy nilly.

as far as who leaked, if they ever heard about it, it sounds like a small town. there were only so many nurses on duty in that er.
i have a few medical people in my family, so i never thought there was any privacy in this stuff. people talk about what happened at work. but it is one thing to mention the sad little kid in your er, and another to go around telling people who that kid is, and declaring the parents negligent. somebody should at least get a black mark in the record.

i guess everybody has buttons to push on the subject of kids and parents. these threads always make me sad and annoyed.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

7. The world's full of people

whose hearts are in the right place, but their heads are up their asses.

I used to teach CCD to this group of four 6th grade rowdies in North Providence. During the course of a lesson, one of the kids said he tried to kill himself, but his three friends (my other students) had stopped him.

This is where things get fun. After class I tell my supervisor (because I was legitimately concerned about the kid), who tells the pastor, who calls the police (which calls me), which sends a social worker to check up on the kid in school, who denied saying anything because he was scared. When that gets back to the pastor, he assumed the kid was making things up and banned him from CCD. My supervisor apologized to me for the kid's actions and said I could stop volunteering if I wanted. I declined her offer.

Things turned out okay for the kid for the time being. The kid wound up going on Paxil, and the priest let him back in to CCD (after much persuasion). But I still can't get over that to the supervisor and pastor that the best action for them to take (in their mind) was essentially to punish him for talking about his suicidal behavior and thinking. Morons.

[mopinko]

15. sometimes i feel like i have met them all.

at least i can take comfort that most people who whine and whine on the internet don't actually do anything in meatspace.