I got a real diagnosis yesterday - Borderline Personality

[FirstLight]

sooo... I am finally in the Mental Health system and have a (so far) good therapist. and she and i set up some specific goals and a treatment plan yesterday. i have heard of borderline, but thought it sounded worse than manic depressive by the name.

I suppose it is more a behavioral issue and coping issue than a biological one (which may mean i may someday get to wean off the antidepressants)
So we'll see how things progress, i am ready to get to the bottom of the things that have been holding me back in my own life for so long (uh-huh, my own crap!)


anyone here familiar with that diagnosis? what about seeing it in your kids or parents? (cuz i can see it in my Dad and my youngest son, too...)

thanks for helping! :wave:

[mopinko]

1. well, i will pass on my half educated, half baked opinion.

from what i know, it is more a matter of how your brain works, how it is wired, how it sees the world than a matter of some neurochemicals being out of whack. so, it is not too amenable to meds. and it takes some hard work to help.
i think the big thing is to stay away from any kinds of drugs or alcohol, which is where things go off the rails for a lot of folks.

i think as far as the genetics goes, there is a spectrum of personality traits that you might see in family members, but the whole syndrome might not be there. how old is your son? if you think he really might be affected, i would say get him some help, too. kids who are dealing with this in a parent/family can use someone to lean on, anyway.

so, i'm sure you know all that already. hope your therapy is helpful. it will be hard. we are here. we will do what we can for you.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[FirstLight]

2. Thanks for the support

Ya, I can already tell by reading up on the "symptoms" and TOTALLY understanding how it relates to my entire LIFE - it is about my lens that I percieve the world through.

Been "overly emotional" since I was in kindergarten, always had the tendency o see things as all or nothing...and so much of that is still true!
My little guy was born with PTSD, and has some emotional stuff as a result. (even though I left the abusive hubby when he was 7 mos old...I am still not 100% obviously, and I am sure it has affected all the kids)

so yea, I know I will have to knuckle under to get my self and my perceptions "re-wired" ...hopefully this time, since we know what to address, we may actualy GET somewhere...

:hug:

[mopinko]

3. how many kids do you have?

and, yeah, having a clue does tend to increase your chances of success.

[FirstLight]

4. well..

3 - ages 16(son) 7 (daughter) & 5 (the baby boy)

the teen is going to get counseling starting next month, too

and I am sure we will do some work as a family once we get rolling

from what I understand the BPD can really be hell on a family (duh, like I said, my dad is a classic example too)so i want to be sure and use this diagnosis to my advantage and get us the help we need. I have been through the system enough times to know how to ask or what I need now, so there's an improvement right there...

[qb]

5. My friend has BPD. He works very hard with his therapist and has essentially conquered it.

He tells me he critiques his emotions frequently to determine if they are appropriate for the situation, and consciously interrupts the harmful behaviors those emotions might have led to. I don't know about the genetics, but he believes his father's BPD-like behavior is at least partially responsible for his condition.

You sound like a strong person who is motivated to succeed in your therapy, so it is very likely you will.

A word of warning about seeking info on the web: There is a lot of misinformation on BPD out there (even here on DU). I have read some cruel statements here about people with BPD, so stick to legitimate medical sites for info.

:hi:

[FirstLight]

6. Thanks so much for the encouragement

I think I am done reading about it for a while. I get the gist, and know that I have been feeling this way for years, but that I also have a few diferent approaches in line. Therapy, and drumming circle and a meditation & intuition class... so I am looking at this from a different perspective.
I want to do the therapy part of it to dredge up and break up the memories and old patterns - but plan to also use my "higher self" to move the crud out of my world Behavior modification is a part of that too, "Owning" my self and my actions and emotions - before I act out. BIG challenge.

thanks for the space to come & discuss this stuff too!

[no name no slogan]

7. If you haven't done so already, look into DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy)

DBT was created specifically as a treatment for BPD, but it has been used to treat mood disorders as well (bipolar, depression) with decent results.

I went through a small course of DBT during one of my many treatment programs and it was very helpful.

Best of luck to you!

[FirstLight]

8. That is exactly the name my therapist used!

I will look it up, thanks...

been just noticing the behavior that is "out of line" with my true self, and what I can do to take a breath and do it differently ...there is still plenty to dredge up with the therpist, but knowing what I ma looking for in my moods, etc and knowing that I have the power to "catch it" at times is encouraging. Of course I am also more acutely aware when I snap and yell with out catching it, so there's a little of the duality there... but I am very hopeful.

Having the meditation background that I have is helpful too...

[Tab]

9. Good for you - it is a learned behavioral issue

I was in a relationship with one for 10 years. The problem is that it's often tied to low self-esteem and, as a result, fear of abandonment issues. A lot of these stem from childhood (emotionally vacant parents, for instance).

It's not impossible to treat, but the worst-affected can't normally abide that there's something ElSE wrong with them, and so they often reject diagnosis and, by extension, therapy. That said, if you are willing - and a certain percentage are - they're happy to know about it and to try to fix it. A lot of it is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and group therapy.

BPD as a rule affect women 80% more than men. That's not to say men don't have it - obviously they do, and I've known some - but it tends to land on the female end of the spectrum which may be for simply no more reason than they might seek help more than men do, but it certainly exists, and if you can seek help, terrific.

Frankly, as far as I'm concerned, seeking ANY kind of help if you're concerned about how you relate to others is valid, and diagnosis be damned (although it helps them plan it, not to mention they have to pick one for insurance purposes), but if you're willing to work with people and groups, that's just wonderful.

You can PM me if you want to know more specifics about my experiences, but let me just say that I give you all the credit in the world for being able to chase it down and accept help. It's a most difficulat diagnosis.

- Tab