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It seems almost to be a pathologizing of something that is normal. People don't live in isolation from others, so your self is of course intimately entwined with the relationships you have.
We are all different to some extent based on the people who surround us. This sort of observation by therapists is a pet peeve of mine, because it suggests to people that they are abnormal, when nothing could be further from the truth. I have heard similar arguments from quacks trying to convince people that they have abnormally split "selves" or dissociated identities (not saying that your therapist is a quack...just commenting on why this particular observation hits me the wrong way). The truth is that we all define ourselves, and we all shift, in relation to others. The phenomenon is a reflection of the complexity of our selves and of our capacity for empathy and adaptation to other human creatures. We NEED other human creatures....Look at the studies of monkeys reared in isolation. We need each other, and of course we develop our selves in relation to one another. It does not mean that anything is wrong with you, but merely that you are human and complex and responsive.
There is nothing wrong with spending time trying to identify your personal interests, likes, desires, etc. These things help you identify what is unique about yourself and help you to seek out activities and other people you will enjoy. But to observe that your sense of self is linked to others seems to me like observing that the sky is blue. And I wonder what the point of pathologizing that would be.
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