Do any of you just not understand people?

[BuelahWitch]

I'm a fairly quiet person, don't speak out too often and don't really like to stir up sh*t. But for the past few years I have been having trouble with hostile people at my workplaces. These people are loud, yell at me for doing things that others do with no problems. In most cases they are much younger than me (20s, I'm in my early 40s). I feel I'm back in school with the f*cking bullies all over again!

[Deja Q]

1. I have difficulties understanding people.

Body language (though improving)

I'm pretty fair with enunciation and inflection at this point\

I still take everything literally, so I often miss jokes.

I still often look at others to get a cue as to the apropos emotional response and then mimick it.

Being an Aspie does have its drawbacks.

As your situation is recent and not stemming as far back as early development, you may have some sort of depression or anxiety problem. I do not know.

[raccoon]

2. Sounds like there's a possibility you are a target of workplace

bullying. (Swedes call it workplace mobbing.) Specially since you're older than the rest of the crowd.

Document document document all this shit. And keep the documentation at your house.

Research workplace bullying on the Internet. There's a lot of info.

[mainegreen]

3. Usually the other way round for me.

Often I'll say something that makes perfect sense to me, and all I get is blank stares.

Your work environment sounds awful. Perhaps you have bad managers there? Can you switch jobs or to a new dept?

[LWolf]

5. I concur.

I understand other people; I don't necessarily relate, but I understand.

They don't understand me.

[Nay]

14. Same here, LWolf. I understand others only too well. It's why I'm a

loner, actually. They don't understand me, that's for sure. I don't buy into much of the prevailing culture, and am still considered a FREAK for not watching every inane TV show that comes by. Yeah, I like a couple of shows (Dexter, Sopranos, X-files, Rome) but most of it is drek.

[supernova]

6. I can relate

I get a lot of blank stares and as I've grown older I've made more of an effort to explain my thinking, but it's not easy and really drains me.

As for other people, there are some social rituals I find hard, like flirting for example. I'm much more aroused by sincere discussion of the arts or politics or just metaphysical stuff.

[smirkymonkey]

8. Same here - the older I get, the less I can tolerate "small talk" and

"flirting" - it always seems somehow manipulative to me. Like you aren't truly relating to each other, but engaging in some sort of "social dance" for which I have increasingly little tolerance.

I think that's my problem with most people - they don't really want to relate and most of them are perfectly happy with platitudes and shallow acquaintances (that they call "friends") - I just find that unless I am really connecting with someone, they aren't worth the effort of having to engage in discussion.

[BuelahWitch]

4. Update

After working a week at the new job, things are a little better. I've made friends with most of the younger people who are not bosses, and they are not cool with the guy and his bullying (to be fair, I've witnessed him doing the same thing to them since my own troubles. It ticks them off just as much). I imagine that I've also been given a reprieve since I answer the most phone calls and make this self-proclaimed two-time Bush voter look better than the others with no call center experience. I also only see him three days out of five, so as long as he mostly leaves me alone, I'm going to stay.

[Skittles]

7. I read people like books

grew up as a GI brat, moved constantly.....knowing people makes me want to be alone

[bemildred]

9. Yeah, exactly. nt

[amandae]

10. Except for the GI brat thing, ditto.

The more I know about people, the less I want to be around them.

[enigmatic]

18. Me too

I've been on the road most of my own life solo, and the Bukowski quote "I don't hate people, but I seem to feel better when they aren't around" is my words to live by.

[survivor999]

11. Yup, I know what you mean.

Luckily, many of my colleagues are introverts, nice, smart and quiet. But there are some people I interact with who are just loud idiots, as you say.

[Help_I_Live_In_Idaho]

12. We are evolutionary outliers perhaps? - Outliers=Outsider???

Always seems like I'm the only one (except my wife) who cares about things outside myself without a vested interest.

I read Carl Whitaker's book "Midnight Musings of a Family Therapist" and he said people have problems such as schizophrenia because there is a relationship (other than the usual genetic relationship) between this mental illness and a belief "that altruism is a valid concept." I suppose I should be schizophrenic, but so far not the case.

Perhaps we are just evolutionary outliers ????

[bemildred]

13. What is there to understand?

They are assholes and you look like a safe target. Like a guy that is mad at his boss so he beats up his wife.

[Skittles]

15. I understand them very well

that's why I don't like them

[Joe the Liberal]

16. Quite the opposite for me......

I understand all too well but that's because I'm very good at reading people.

[Odin2005]

17. I'm pretty much blind to little body language cues non-Aspies understand instinctively.

It gets me into trouble CONSTANTLY, especially when it comes to cues involving social hierarchies.

[Louisiana1976]

19. I find it easier to understand other people, I think, than to believe that they can understand me.