greetings, fellow solo travelers . . .

[OneBlueSky]

recently a dear friend of many years made some comments about the difference between extroverts and introverts that I found interesting, mainly because they seemed to reflect my own feelings pretty accurately . . .

this friend -- and extrovert -- says that when he's in a room full of people, he becomes thoroughly energized . . . being in the middle of a group charges his batteries in such a way that he can go on for hours, never feeling tired or that nagging need to leave at the earliest time possible . . .

introverts like me, on the other hand, find that being in a roomful of people totally saps our energy . . . interacting with others, keeping up the conversation, being introduced to new people etc. is all so enervating that it completely wrings me out, and I often leave (the sooner the better) feeling like a used dishrag . . .

so in my experience, my friend's observations are pretty right on -- but I was wondering if others share this perception . . .

[bemildred]

1. Yep, that's exactly it. And solitude is energizing. nt

[Nay]

2. I have heard this comment a few times and I agree completely.

Another way to describe it is that extroverts get their batteries charged by being with people, and introverts have their batteries drained by people. It is absolutely true for me. When I was younger, I HATED going to parties, meeting people, having all these people look at me, evaluate my looks, my clothes, etc. Just despised it, had a loathing for such things. Now, I can go to a party or gathering and tolerate it without gross feelings of loathing, but after half an hour, I'm looking at my watch -- can we go home now?

Another way I've heard it put is that if you are a loner, you wonder why solitary confinement in prison is considered a punishment.

[shanti]

3. i totally agree!

as a loner, i find crowds and people sap my energy too. in fact, after a workweek, many times i never leave the house until go to work the following monday.

my youngest son finds this funny because he is the exact opposite, just like your friend. he is invigorated by attention, the more the better. in fact, he is off to LA to become an actor next week! :hi:

[deepthought42]

4. This is why I do not like class discussions

that and I'm afraid I'll make an ass of myself. So no way was I about to read my paper aloud in class and discuss it. Who does that? And without telling us beforehand? And no one else seemed to understand how difficult it was for me...that's what was the worst part of it.

[psychmommy]

5. i am trapped in a cubicle 5 days a week.

people find it perfectly normal to stand in my doorway and block me in. it makes me visibly uncomfortable. i will be working with headphones on and people still stop and interrupt me. i don't mind a little chat or helping someone on a particular problem but, i can't spend my day talking to folks. when i was young and less secure, i had to be out and around others but i drank alot to do that. i am very sensitive with other people and i think that is why i feel drained by them. i prefer to be alone and i enjoy the internet. i can turn it on/off at anytime.

[stpalmer]

6. Totally!!!!!

So why have I been trying to achieve in a job that requires being around people constantly?

I'm making a plan, and quitting my job to start over in a year. I think I'll be so relieved.

[Kind of Blue]

7. You will. One of the best things that EVER happened to me

is working from home. I wish you success and hope your move comes sooner.

[Kind of Blue]

8. Hi, OneBlueSky. Drained is exactly how I feel.

[DeepBlueC]

9. that's how it is

I like going out with a friend or a few friends. I love to get together with my whole extended family. But I hate parties, especially parties where you are supposed to "circulate". Even when it is my own club or group I just want to have one person attached to me the whole time. Even if I do manage to chat with a few the whole process feels like serial abandonment. And in those in between moments I just want to find a place on the periphery to sit and watch the whole thing go on.Which eventually I will do until the person I drove with wants to leave. I'd prefer not to be there but I can just barely stand being there as a voyeur more or less.