They're blaming us again.

[chaska]

The ever more clueless television media has called that kid on the Indian reservation a loner.

I heard some sanity on the radio today (Pacifica, I think). Someone being interviewed about the case said he was not a loner at all, that he was a "failed joiner".

This is almost invariably the case with this type of incident. Loners want to be left alone. We walk away. It's the outcasts that you need to worry about.

Read 'Party of One - the loners manifeto' for more.

[kaitykaity]

1. I'll have to look for that book.

Did you use the word "manifesto" deliberately? How
very Unibomber-ish of you.

:evilgrin:

[chaska]

2. No, I wrote 'manifeto'. It's a cheesey pasta dish .

Actually, that's the title. I guess I should have put it in a proper set of quotation marks.

There's a bit in there about the unibomber. I seem to recall that they say the K man wasn't a real loner either.

It's a great book. A very entertaining read. Not heavy at all. Fun.

[kaitykaity]

3. Lol.

Yeah, I saw it was in the title when I put a hold on it
at the library.

I think you're onto something with that "failed joiner"
thing.

Heck, I was watching a rerun my fav TV show (Gilmore Girls)
and noticed how saying someone is a loner can be turned into
an accusation. I hadn't really noticed that before.

[chaska]

4. I wish I knew who said that about "failed joiner".

This is starting to become a concern for me. This dangerous loner thing. It's never accurate. CBS described the kid as a loner and then brought on an "expert" that amplified that comment. I wanted to throw a brick through the TV. I hope anyone who saw that will contact them about it. I did. Loners aren't dangerous, outcasts can be.

We need to stop the bullies that create outcasts. But then, we only have to look at the current state of our government to see what a monumental task that will be. Capitalism equals bully. Or at least this ever more Hobbesian form of capitalism does.

[kaitykaity]

5. I only found one reference "failed joiner" on Google.

I guess it's okay to steretype us because there are so
few of us, and since we choose to disconnect from the
daily world of the energy vampires, it's really hard to
organize us into a movement against a wrong stereotype.
Lol.

And I really do think extroverts think there's inherently
something wrong with us. Extroverts consider themselves
to be the norm, thus making us the not-norm.

There's the reference.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/23/national/23rampage.html

"It typically happens in small, remote towns because the
protagonist is a boy who is socially incapable in many
ways," said Katherine Newman, a sociologist at Princeton
University and the editor of "Rampage: The Social Roots
of School Shootings," published last year. "This is someone
who is a failed joiner, who is repeatedly trying to gain
access to peer groups that reject him."

[Guaranteed]

6. Question on the loner/outcast distinction...

If someone wants to only be around people enough to work and support themselves, are they still a loner? Or are they a failed joiner if they then lose their job?

[LWolf]

7. All good points.

Of course, pointing fingers at "loners" is easier; as another poster mentioned, the extroverts really do think there is something "wrong" with introverts. It's a hell of a lot easier to find an easy target to scapegoat than to look at the real sources, and do something about them.

The real source/s? American culture is dysfunctional. It thrives on competition, put-downs, one-ups-manship, boosting self-esteem by "beating" the "opposition," ganging up on anyone who is "different" or "doesn't fit."

Loners actually deal with those dysfunctions better than most, imo. Loners can walk away easily; they don't buy into the groupthink crap. It's the joiners that perpetuate the whole mess, and the failed joiners that act out in one way or another.

[marions ghost]

8. interesting idea

that "loners" (as opposed to "failed joiners)" deal with the dysfunctions of our society better than most.

[kaitykaity]

9. "Party of One" an absolute must-read.

I loved the way she takes apart the media's coverage
of pseudoloners (her word, like failed joiners) Kaczynski,
McVeigh and the lot.

:thumbsup:

[chaska]

11. Ain't it great?

[Hello_Kitty]

10. I'm a former failed joiner who became a loner

And found I like it. Or maybe I always really was a loner and that's why I never fit in. I definitely want to check out that book.

[chaska]

12. Yes, by all means do.

[NMMNG]

13. I just put Party of One on hold at my library

I'm looking forward to reading it.

[TrogL]

14. "Failed Joiner"

There's a new book out about kids making friends that coined that term. The entire book seems to be one long rant saying you need to panic and run in circles if your kid doesn't have a bazillion close friends.

My son has lots of friends. I hate them all. They're trouble and they're getting him into trouble.