I think I'd like to take a vacation from being a loner today.

[chaska]

Is that an option? Prolly not. Sigh.

That's the worst part of being a loner, when things go badly no one has your back.

[kaitykaity]

1. What happened?

Remember how she said the Internet was Nirvana
for loners? We get interaction without the drain?

[chaska]

2. I probably shouldn't get too into it.

I have one friend here in CA (I'm new here) and I think she may have violated my trust in her. I'm not sure if that's a good way to describe it - I'm trying to keep it general.

I'm not sure exactly what's going on. I won't hear from her until tomorrow.

It's complicated. I think I may be transferring feelings from my last relationship onto this one. The situations are eerily similar except that I don't really have the same feelings for this girl, though there is a part of me that keeps trying to put her in that role. It's not fair to her and it's not healthy for me. I was hurt pretty badly in that last relationship. I'd say I was scarred except that the wounds haven't healed. But then it's only been FOUR YEARS!!!

I really am hopeless.

Thanks for listening, KK.

Maybe this thread will be a good place for us loners to dump our day to day emotional garbage. Everybody wang chung tonight.

[astral]

3. subject field must not be blank

Is she your friend already? If you may have romantic feelings towards her and are afraid of getting hurt, try just letting the friendship develop first. Maybe it will be what you have in the end, and it won't go past that.

I know for me it's been a year and a couple months since my relationship ended, and I hate to say it but I am totally happy not having anyone around to complicate my life . . . I'm afraid it might be a permanent condition by now.

I would like to learn to have friendships with both sexes without any expectations or having to always wonder, if it's a guy, whether we can be just friends or whether he's wondering (or if he's wondering if I'M wondering) if we are going to get physical and all that stuff.

Because, once you do, get physical that is, it'll never be quite the same again as if you never had, regardless of the way it goes.

I think I know exactly how you're feeling, though, been there myself.

astral

[kaitykaity]

4. I'm pretty good at listening. I'm also nosy.

That's one thing I love about this place. There's
someplace for everyone.

It sounded like you had a problem that you wanted to
talk about. Except I haven't had a serious relationship
in 15 years. I have a FWB, but that's it. I know a thing
or two about those wounds that won't heal. But that's
just me.

Yeah, this thread could be a place to wang chung. That's
a cool idea.

[LWolf]

5. Doesn't seem to be.

I just spent 2 weeks taking care of my mom & grandson, and came home to take care of some business here. The silence here is lovely.

Just 2 other people in the house, but never a moment of silence or privacy.!?

While I was there, I had to call my ex. It's been 4 years. I'm moving, and buying another house. I had to ask him if I was divorced or not, so I'd know how to take title on the new house. He was warm, gracious, and sent off the paperwork I needed right away. I'm divorced.

I did well on the phone, then locked myself in the bathroom and cried for awhile before I could face the world. I've dealt with the end of the marriage; I left that behind a long time ago. I've never gotten over the loss of the friendship. Is it just me, or is trust a bigger issue for loners than others?

[mdmc]

6. loners value relationships... they are so rare and missed when

terminated. Perhaps impermanence is why we are loners in the first place.