Post Johnny Carson Quotes Here

[Kire]

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Johnny Carson

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson

[Orsino]

1. Karnak

Karnak: (holds hermetically-sealed envelope to forehead) "Roger, Elmer and Billy."

Ed: "Roger, Elmer and Billy."

Karnak: (rips open hermetic seal and reads) "Name a Mudd, a Fudd and a dud."

[sundancekid]

2. New Yorkers (bless us, tiny tim)

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. (Johnny Carson)