Origami Boulder

[Kire]

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Origami boulder? Aren't you talking about a wadded up piece of paper?

A: Yes dumb dumb! I already explain this at beginning. Why you too lazy to read first before you ask obvious question like this? People on Internet not very smart.

Q: Is this some kind of a joke?

A: You want joke? Look in mirror, you ugly person! This site real. You order wadded paper origami boulder and see for yourself.

This very nice artwork that come with card and make good gift for your friend. Your friend never forget you when you send fine art gift like this! I am famous Internet artist, so original wadded paper origami art become VERY VALUABLE some day. Especially haiku version, because it is double artwork.

I repeat -- site is real, artwork is real. You order origami boulder and it comes in mail and you enjoy it.

Q: What is the haiku option?

A: You don't know nothing about anything! Haiku is Japanese poetry. It goes with wadded paper because Origami is also Japanese. Don't you understand anything about other culture? People on Internet are so stupid sometimes, but not the ones who buy wadded paper origami boulder with haiku!!!

Q: But how can I read the haiku if the paper is in a boulder shape?

A: You can't, but it there. What is the sound of one hand clapping, dumb dumb?

Q: But can't I unfold the page to read the haiku?

A: You unfold wadded paper, you ruin artwork! Don't be stupid. Haiku is there. I even write it in English. You not read it though.

I give example:

Buy wadded paper
from very famous artist
and then you like it

I write a different new one for every haiku order, ok? You will like it very much but you don't read it because it ruins artwork.

Q: What is the Performance Art option?

A: This brand new innovation in Origami Boulder wadded paper art! You buy Performance Art option. Then artist wad up artwork create custom for you, and throw directly into waste basket. You just paid for custom performance art! You receive email describe performance. If wish, write name or other small message in comment box and artist say, "This art made for _____" when perform.

VERY IMPORTANT. You not get anything in mail when you order Performance Art option. Artist truly create artwork and throw in wastebasket and email when finished. You pay for this art performance, not physical art that come in mail.

Q: Do you have a money back guarantee?

A: Money back guarantee? This not Wal-Mart dumb dumb! This work of art from artist -- me! You ask Picasso for money back? I don't think so! You no ask me for money back either. You don't like art work, you sell it on Ebay and get your money back or go away. It already cheaper than Starbucks, so what else you want from me?

Q: Do you do custom pieces?

A: Finally good question!! This is the kind of person who should visit site, not dumb people too cheap to spend money. Yes, I make custom piece for you! Only $25! You send me piece of paper and I wad up for you and send back with Priority Mail!

Recommended item for custom artwork include Enron or Pets.com stock certificate, breakup letter from girlfriend, collection letter from landlord or moon deed. Then it become valuable one day and you have last laugh!

Q: What kind of paper do you use?

A: This also intelligent question from person who appreciates art. I use very expensive paper called Old Money. It is made from real money! It is 100 percent recycled with 30 percent post-consumer currency and 70 percent recovered cotton.

That means you send me money and I send you money back. Only my money is artwork and you can't spend at the mall so don't try it or you go to jail. Card explaining artwork made from Old Money card stock. It is even light green like dollars and very nice to look at. I don't use cheap paper because my art serious and no joke.

Q: Why do you use PayPal?

A: I go to bank to accept credit card and banker says, "You can't sell wadded paper. That's not a real product or service."

I lose patience and scream at banker and tell him, "You banker, not art critic dumb dumb!!! You don't know nothing about art. Wadded paper art much better than Andy Warhol painting of soup can or that guy who put crucifix in big jar of urine! At least my art not offensive or stupid picture of food product!"

Now I can never accept credit card directly because I get escorted from bank by big man with gun. I use ATM and drivethrough now so banker doesn't see me and call police.

Q: Can I order now?

A: Yes! Order online now please and I send you artwork and you like it very much. I tell you for last time that artwork is real, and you really get art in mail when you order.

http://www.origamiboulder.com/

[DawgHouse]

1. Very, Very funny!!!!